Disclaimer: I don't own Super Smash Brothers or any of the characters used in this story. They are all properties of Nintendo.

Comments: Been forever since I wrote a story, let a lone a Super Smash Bros. one. So here ya go. All concrit and feedback, sans flames, are highly appreciated. Hope you'll enjoy it.

It was a Saturday like any other. The so-called Smashers were enjoying their weekend off and thus, were scattered all over the place doing whatever suited their fancy, or in the process of doing so. Prince Marth Lowell had similar plans. The local library recently received a huge shipment of newly printed books from Altea, his homeland. As far as Marth was concerned, all he needed now were some fresh bags of tea from the market to be completely set.

While en route to said market, walking through the hallways of the hotel the Smashers called their temporary residence, Marth passed Link's room. And, from within, heard a familiar voice. A female voice.

"You're not putting it in hard enough."

Marth stopped dead in his tracks. That was Samus' voice. What was she doing in there?

"Sorry, but I have to be delicate. This being your first… I don't want to hurt you, Samus."

Now, Marth prided himself on being the upstanding royal that he was raised to be and as such, avoided the childish banter and gossip and shenanigans that seemed to surround the general population of Smashers as best he could.

But he couldn't help himself. Something was going on in Link's room that sounded like it shouldn't have been going on.

He thought about knocking on the door and pretending to need something from Link just so he could interrupt – hey, I think I left my Falchion in here during the last poker game – and maybe catch a glimpse of what was going on, then go about his merry way, knowing the curiosity wouldn't kill him afterwards.

Of course, that would also mean that he wouldn't know what exactly had been transpiring in there. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out but Marth wanted to know all of the details before he went to brag to Roy and the others. I know something you don't know…!

Now he fully understood why so many people fell into the trap of gossip and eavesdropping. It was irresistible!

Marth snuck up on the door and held his ear against it to listen in.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'll be fine."

"But I won't. What if I tear something? What if you start to bleed? I've had this done to myself before. It's not the most pleasant experience."

Marth made a face. Seemed as if Link was quite…experienced.

"I've been through a lot, Link. I think I can take this."

"Okay then… Ready?"


"Here goes…"


Marth jumped with a start, almost bumping his head against the door. What in the world were those two doing?

"…! Ah! Ah…I'm… I'm sorry!"

"Hee hee. Just kidding. I didn't feel a thing that time."

"Now you're just teasing me."

"Did it even go in?"

Samus was a tease and an ego-bruiser at the same time. Who knew?

"I only put the tip in."

"Uh huh. Who's teasing who?"

Apparently, so was Link. Marth cringed and listened on.

"Very funny. Anyway… Let's try this again."



"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"…Wha—!? Are you teasing me again?"

"N-No, Link! This is…ow! This is real!"


It was definitely real alright. Marth tried not to make any mental images of what he figured was transpiring in there; it was especially easier to not picture it now that Samus was screaming in pain. He pondered briefly if he should call for help, but he then thought about how would he explain this to the first-aid team and to Link and Samus.

See, the funniest thing happened. I was listening on you two when you were in Link's room. Huh? Why? Oh, see, I was about to go in to get my Falchion polish but it sounded like you two were really busy so I just hung around outside, waiting for the opportune moment…until I heard Samus screaming and grunting…

Yeah, that wasn't going to fly.

"Get it out! Get it out! OW!"

"Okay! Okay! I'm trying to, just give me a—rrgh…"

"Oh, god…! What are you—!"

"…Um, Samus?"


"It's stuck…"

Marth's eyeballs doubled in size.

"Okay, this might hurt a lot more to get it out… Uh, I think I got some hair…tangled…too… Ooh, boy…"

Marth's face went as green as Yoshi's scales.

"…Just get it out."

"Alright, alright. Whew, this is a lot harder than I always thought it would be. On the count of three. One… Two…… … … … … … … THREE!"


Marth held his hands over his ears. For a calm and collected and mature woman, Samus could be loud when needed.

"See, Sammy… I got it out. It's not so bad. It's only bleeding a bit, and it's maybe just a little swollen."

"Ugh, I don't see how other women can do this… Even some men do this, too…"

"I'm gonna go get you some ice and maybe something for you to bit—"

Just as Marth was thinking of blazing away from the door, Link swung it open, surprised to see his friend there. "Oh! Hey, Marth…"

Link seemed unusually calm. Marth, on the other hand, was not. His face registered the absolute shock, horror, pleasure, embarrassment, or whatever else as he regarded Link, who held an earring similar to his own in between his thumb and index finger, and Samus, who sat not too far away with a hand clenching her reddened ear.

"…You want to help me pierce Samus' ear?"