Author's Note: And so it ends. I hope you have enjoyed this little insanity. This ending brought to you by the following sponsors: Cheese whiz, Deep Fried Crack and Dean's Den of Sin. (Opps... I wasn't supposed to mention him.)
At the castle gates…..
Sam roughly pulled Dean from the wagon as he waved for the Vixens to follow. "Open the gates!" He demanded. "I have gifts for my father."
"Dude," Dean whispered. "That still makes me cringe." Dean kept his unbound hands behind him as if he was restricted and unable to fight. Just concealed in his jacket sleeve, the glitter wand handle was balanced in his palm.
"Same here. Let's just do this and get outta here." Sam pushed Dean forward in a ruse of coaxing an uncooperative prisoner to move to certain doom.
"Easy sparky. Don't damage the goods."
"Prisoners don't get kid glove treatment, Dean. This has to look good. "
"Not too good. Just get me close enough and you slap him in the shoes!" Dean stressed, while whispering.
"Don't worry, the vixens have them hidden. I just hope your acting skills have improved."
"Screw, you Scott Hamil"
"AND No more ice skater jokes." Sam led his brother through the courtyard, into a narrow passage way, through heavy wooden doors, and then into the throne room, where the Yellow Eyed Demon waited.
The demon smiled. "Ahh! Sam, my boy. What a bevy of beauties you have brought me. And look at this… Dean, too. You are a thoughtful boy, but I am afraid I can't let your little ruse affect my well planned power hold." Suddenly, the doors slammed shut and the window shutters sealed, cutting off any means of escape. "Do you think I got this much power by being stupid. Sammy boy, you should know better. Now, I am afraid I will have to take care of your entire family, starting with you."
With a flick of the wrist of Yellow Eye's hand, a beam shot, heading straight for Sam's heart. Before he could react, Sam felt a shove to his abdomen. He slammed hard upon his back against the stone floor. He glanced upwards in time to see Dean take the blast in his stead.
At first when the energy smacked inside of Dean, he felt very little. His arm was extended, holding the wand to administer a blast. But, that strike never had the time to complete. Ever so slowly, he glanced at Sam and flashed a smile. Then, just as quickly he fell, slapping hard against the floor. His hand released the wand; letting is slip away. His eyes drained of life and closed in eternal sleep.
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The Vixens, Sam, and Flatus yelled at once. Sam crawled to his brother, not even bothering to rise.
Just when things appeared desperate, Horny took off her blouse and oversized bra and tossed them to Freaky. Horny jumped up and down, distracting the demon. Freaky grabbed Flatus, shoving him into one of the bra cups and slingshot him towards the demon's face. The lizard-dragon spit a ball of fire as he flew close enough to singe Yellow's hair. Yet the small reptile was flung away by one movement in the demon's hand.
However, the distraction was more than enough. Sam's hand gripped the wand, sending a glittery blast towards the demon. His aim was true and damaging. The monster yelped like a small school girl in pigtails. While he was blinded, the vixens removed his shoes and placed the Ruby Slippers on his feet.
When the demon looks down at his new footwear, his eyes couldn't move for terror. "NO... No… NO! What have you DONE!!! Within seconds the villain was on his feet, and the slippers began to force him into a strange dance like ants had infested his pants. Then, he began to sing…"I'm too sexy for my shirt... too sexy for my shirt so sexy it hurts!" Just as quickly he switched gears, singing a melody of tunes from Annie." All the while his feet danced. "Tomorrow…tomorrow… the sun… tomorrow… I'm a little teapot short and stout… Did I ever tell you you're my hero….Near, Far Where ever you are… AHHHHHH….Don't worry be happy….Purple Rain… Purple rain….its Thriller… Thriller night….I'm just a sweet transvestite
….from transsexual…" All the doors flew open and the demon danced right out the door, singing random pieces of song.
"Someone should tell that man he is a horrible singer," Flatus said. "And he ain't no Solid Gold Dancer, either."
When the group realized the demon no longer had power, they all turned their attention Dean. Bowing their heads, they all mourned the loss acutely. Sam knelt gently, pulling Dean close to him. No breath came from his parted lips, confirming the death. No, Dean. You can't be! No."
"He can't be dead…" The vixens no longer whined, but whisper in a melancholy keening for their fallen hero.
"He died to save all of us…We're free and he's… he's…" Flatus cried and began to sing Scorpions Winds of Change" in eulogy. "Take me to the midgets in the morning." The little creature would have continued, but a glowing orb appeared.
The Good Hooterfairy emerged and gazed at Sam softly. "Be not sad, for things are not as hopeless as they appear. The kiss of honest love will return him." The fairy kissed Dean's lips, but still he did not wake. One by one the vixens and even Flatus tried to revive Dean. Then, all eyes looked at Sam.
"Uh…no…hell no… we aren't like that... Stop it… That's sick... We're brothers. Ewwwwww!"
"Sam, love doesn't have to be physical love. Do you not love your brother? The Hooterfairy asked.
"Yeah, but... uh..." All eyes were on him and he bent down over his brother.
Dean bolted upright and screamed "DUDE, if you even try to kiss me, I swear, I'll... I'll kill you!"
"Who are you talking about Dean?" Sam asked. "I think you must be delirious."
"What... don't mess with me! That damn fairy, vixens, and lizard lipped dragon... they…
"Whoa... okay... just lay back down and be still. You cracked your head a good one."
"I came back and you were in the doorway out cold. Looks like you slipped on the ice. Just take it easy."
"Oh… Oh... thank GOD!" Dean glanced around, noticing he was back in the cabin.
"Dean, are you okay??"
"It was horrible, Sammy…..there were vixens, and unicorn farts, and Flatus- a Dragons that sing the wrong lyrics. And the vixens. They...they… it was horrible. Sleepy got Hungry, then Hungry found there was no food and she got all Needy. Needy was so desperate, she got Horney. And Horny... oh she was nuts. She …."
"What are you talking about!"
"Horney could decide which of us she wanted and turned to Fickle. Fickle gets tired of waiting and got Freaky with the dragon. Then Freaky got her groove on with him too and she got all Bitchy cause we wouldn't…"
"Wait. Just… You're not making sense."
"And Bitchy got stressed out because everyone was Bitchy and she got Sleepy and….Freaky gets her groove on but hates herself cause she gave into cheap sex, she then gets Bitchy. Bitchy gets stressed and can't sleep so she gets Sleepy"
"What ARE YOU TALKIINGABOUT!!!!!?"
"The vixens they all had names like Horny and Sleepy….and ….
"And I suppose Hotty got busy in the Impala?"
"And then I got hurt and I needed a kiss of love...then…then you… then…" Dean was horrified.
"Dean, I would rather see Dr. Phil in a Speedo."
"Okay, just relax. I think you took a harder knock to your head than you thought."
"Yeah…yeah…" Dean fell back and closed his eyes.
Sam pulled a blanket over him, and began to whistle Winds of Change. Dean shoots up with eyes wide open, starting at Sam.
"What?" Sam looked at his brother oddly.
"Where did you hear that song?" Dean noticed a splatter of glitter on Sam's shoulder.
--x-x-x-x-x-THE END-- -x-x-x-x-x-x-x