Two In One

Hooray for bandwagons. Yup, folks, another nutcase has posted a Naruto-Harry Potter crossover. I couldn't help myself, Harry Potter is just such and easy series to crossover with anime. And Kingdom Hearts, for that matter. Ooooh, now there's an idea.

Anyway, I started writing this a looooong time ago, right after book 6 of Harry Potter came out. Okay, it wasn't that long ago, but still, I only have this one chapter to show for it. I'm lazy.

Summary: Naruto and Sasuke are bored ANBU in a time of peace. When a request from England comes in for an important mission, Naruto is eager to accept. What kinds of troubles will they face on their journey into the wizarding world? Naruto/Harry Potter crossover.

Yaoi, maybe? Only if you guys want it, otherwise it'll just be SasuNaru friendship. But absolutely no DracoHarry stuff, I don't ship it because I don't think it would be possible. They hate each other too much. Sasuke and Naruto on the other hand, cough, http:// groups. /NarutoMangaReturns/ vol26.msnw?actionShowPhoto&PhotoID14321, take out the spaces.

Disclaimer: Do I have to say it?...Fine. I do not own the Naruto manga/anime series, which is written by the fabulous Masashi Kishimoto-sama, or Harry Potter, which was made a worldwide phenomenon by the ever amazing J.K. Rowling, nor am I in any way affiliated with the companies that distribute them to the masses.


Japanese words to know, just in case.

ANBU- literaly translates to "Dark Side" or "Black Ops", it's actually short for Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai, which translates to "Special Assassination and Tactical Squad." Think of them as a ninja SWAT team. (Taken from (Also spelled taisho). Captain, as in a squad. Know I'm going against cannon a little here but let's pretend that there is only one captain in ANBU, because I couldn't think of any other word to use.

Godaime -"Fifth Generation." Godaime Hokage translates to Fifth Hokage.

Hokage- "Fire Shadow." Leader of Konohagakure.

Konohagakure- "Village Hidden In the Leaves." Naruto and Sasuke's hometown. "Konoha" for short.

hai- a respectfull way to say "yes" or "yes,sir."

Tsunade-baa-chan- "Old Lady Tsunade."

Sandaime- "Third Generation." Refers to the previous Hokage, Sarutobi.

jutsu- ninja techniques.

Kyuubi no Kitsune- "Nine-Tailed Demon Fox." We just call him Kyuubi, Kyuu for short.

youki- demon energy, as opposed to reiki, or spirit energy. Reiki Chakra in the Naruto universe.

teme- an extremely rude way to say "you," roughly "you bastard." Normally used as an insult.

dobe- a slang word for "idiot" or "dead last."

-sama- suffix to a name, roughly meaning "Milord so-and-so" (or Milady)

usuratonkachi- I'm pretty sure this means something along the lines of "freaking idiot." (credit to mindspeech

Ch.1 – Recon

Sasuke cursed as his cloak caught on a branch and ripped. Dammit, he thought, I don't have time for this!

Sasuke was mad. And impatient. He was in the middle of nowhere, at midnight, coming back from a really boring long-term reconnaissance mission, covered in mud and other icky things. Why does this stupid mission matter, anyway? Nothing happened the entire time! Nothing! A whole month of complete and total shit! Sasuke's tired mind churned these angry thoughts out in slow motion as he ran at top speed, vaulting expertly over a fallen tree trunk. He was exhausted, hungry, and bored out of his skull. He wanted to go home. Period.

Who the hell sends ANBU members out on reconnaissance, anyway?

Yeah, that's right. The famous (or infamous, depending on who you asked) Uchiha Sasuke, ANBU's second in command. Out of everyone in the entire village he answered only to two people: the ANBU Taicho and the Godaime herself.

Not that he cared. Not at that exact moment, anyway.

He just wanted to get home. That way he could see Naruto.

As much as he hated to admit it, Sasuke had grown attatched to the little "dobe." Not that he was little anymore. At the age of nineteen he was actually rather tall, only an inch or so shorter than Sasuke. His hair was longer though. It fell just below his shoulders, and he usually kept it tied into a secure low ponytail. He was still bright and sunny when he was off-duty, but as soon as the mask was on he was all business. He had to be. There was no room for "almost" when it came to ANBU.

And so Naruto came to be one of the best of the elite ninja in Konohagakure.

Thinking of Naruto only made Sasuke want to get back even more. He picked up the pace, pulled up his hood, and raced silently off into the shadows.


Sasuke arrived at the main gates of the village at around two o'clock that morning. All was quiet and he was alone. Or so he thought.

Quite suddenly, he was surrounded by figures wearing the familiar ANBU uniform. One leapt down from a nearby tree and twisted Sasuke's arms behind his back with practiced ease. Sasuke felt the cool metal of a kunai knife against his throat. Wisely he froze, not wanting to provoke any unnecessary violence and at the same time wondering why his comrades hadn't yet recognized him. Oh, yeah my hood…stupid cloak…

"What business do you have in Konohagakure?" the ANBU behind him demanded.

Wait, that voice! Sasuke thought.

"Naruto, you moron, let me go!" Sasuke struggled to speak, which was pretty difficult to do considering there was a blade at his neck, "It's me!"

Naruto (for it was indeed him) released Sasuke immediately. The darker of the two shinobi pushed back his hood and crossed his arms in mild annoyance. Naruto lifted his fox-shaped ANBU mask from his face, revealing a surprised and apologetic look. "Sasuke? Sorry, I didn't recognize you!" he pinched his nose between his index finger and thumb, "I didn't know anyone could be that muddy. Ew, it smells like crap."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Hey, where's your mask?" asked Naruto. He gasped accusingly, "Don't tell me you lost it!" When Sasuke didn't protest he continued, "Sasuke! That was your fourth one! These things aren't cheap, you know!" He waved his own in his friend's face for emphasis.

"Uzumaki-taicho!" One ANBU from the surrounding group stepped forward and addressed Naruto respectfully, "Taicho, now that he's back, you both should report immediately to the Hokage's office. She's waiting for you both."

Taicho? Naruto? Oh, hell no…

"Right, sorry" Naruto answered, "You can all call it a night, then. Dismissed," his hand shot out in front of him, indicating the finality of the order.

"Hai!" The remaining ANBU chorused in and disappeared in a poof of smoke.

No way…What's going on here?

"Taicho, huh?" Sasuke asked mildly, not knowing whether to be impressed, angry, annoyed or what. An ANBU Taicho was decided in order of rank. When the previous Taicho retired or died, his second in command would take his place. Which meant that Sasuke should have been given the position, not Naruto. Unable to decide on an emotion, he settled for his usual blank stare.

Naruto turned back to Sasuke and replaced his mask, "I'll explain when we get to Tsunade-baa-chan's office, okay? Go get cleaned up first though, you really do smell terrible. I'll meet you there in a half-hour." With a flourish of his long hair, he leaped to the top of the village's outer wall and waved cheerily before disappearing over the edge.

Sasuke stared after him. What in the world happened during that month that I was gone?


Exactly twenty-eight minutes later, after a thorough cleaning, Sasuke joined Naruto and (for some reason) Neji, who was also a high-ranking ANBU operative, in the Hokage's office. The place had gotten even messier than the last time he had seen it. And that was really saying something.

As Sasuke entered Neji nodded to him in a silent greeting, which Sasuke returned in kind. Neji wore an ANBU mask of a bird decorated with green paint, even though he was technically allowed to take it off while in the Hokage's office. Sasuke hadn't seen the twenty-year-old without his mask in forever, and he was beginning to forget what he looked like. He hardly talked either. Nowadays, hearing Neji speak was like seeing Shino doing the can-can in a frilly pink dress. It just didn't happen.

Sasuke's train of thought ended abruptly when he was addressed. "Ah, just the man I wanted to see. I've been waiting for you, Sasuke. Did you know that you're over two hours late with that recon report I asked you for?" Tsunade asked, lounging behind her desk.

Sasuke growled and tossed a folder onto the already crowded space in front of her. He had cobbled the papers together in the few minutes he had after his return. The folder was light, there hadn't been much to report. The so-called "potential enemy base" in the Lightning Country he had been assigned to watch for a month had turned out to be nothing more than a noble's mansion. Said noble was apparently paranoid and was hiring mercenaries by the truckload to guard his riches. Konoha had sent Sasuke to investigate, and the whole venture had been a massive waste of time. To say that Sasuke was pissed would have been a grotesque understatement.

Tsunade grinned and lobbed a small bag of coins in his direction. Sasuke caught it quirked an eyebrow questioningly.

"Compensation?" he inquired.

"Something like that," she said.

More like a bribe to get on my good side, he thought. Pfft. I guess I should at least give her points for effort. He pocketed the money and crossed his arms, fully prepared for a good long explanation.

"Well, down to business then," mumbled Tsunade, "You may have already heard, but Naruto was promoted to Taicho of the ANBU Black Ops while you were gone. It was actually quite sudden." She fiddled with a pen, twirling it between her fingers lazily. "The previous Taicho died while out on a mission. In his will he wrote that he wanted Naruto to succeed him instead of following the usual method of promoting his second in command…" she paused and looked him in the eye, "…which was you. Sorry, Sasuke, you got skipped. You answer to Naruto now."

Out of the corner of his eye Sasuke saw Naruto look down in what could have been mistaken for shame. Does he feel bad that he got promoted instead of me? That idiot…

"I don't care," Sasuke said. Naruto lifted his head in surprise. It was the truth. In all honesty he never wanted the position, preferring the frontlines rather than all the responsibility that came along with the title. The part that bothered him was the fact that someone thought that Naruto was a better choice than he was. Huh, me and my stupid ego… Sasuke continued, "But that can't be all you have to say, because then Neji wouldn't be here."

Tsunade nodded, "Of course. I have a new mission for you. This one's gonna be a doosy."

She filed through a stack of papers on her desk and pulled out a white mission folder. "Long-term, S-class mission. Primary Objective: secure and protect Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," she said, "Secondary Objective: Find and eliminate a Dark Wizard by the name of 'Lord Voldemort.'"

Wait, what?

"Witchcraft and wizards? You've got to be kidding me," said Sasuke incredulously.

Tsunade shook her head, "Nope, I'm dead serious. The wizard who placed the mission request, Albus Dumbledore, is the headmaster of the school, Hogwarts, an old guy who apparently knew the Sandaime. He explained everything in this letter," she handed him the document in question. It was written in English in a green flowing script. Sasuke (who had learned a multitude of languages during his Academy years) could see that she was indeed telling the truth.

"Along with the letter, Dumbledore-san sent us a number of magical items, including a real flying broomstick, as confirmation of his claims that magic does indeed exist." She grinned at the surprised look on his face. "It seems that the shinobi are not the only secretive community in the world."

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his soft black hair. His mind was having trouble processing all the new information. Then again maybe he was thinking too much. Really, the Justus he practiced every day really weren't much different than the spells and enchantments that he knew of in children's bedtime stories.

He thought the scenario through, focusing on the basics as much as possible "Right," he sighed, "so all we have to do is secure and protect the school? That sounds easy enough, but what's the catch? Why send us?" Aside from Tsunade herself, Sasuke, Naruto and Neji were the top ninja in the entire village. Surely the job could be completed by those of lesser rank?

"This 'Lord Voldemort' is an especially powerful wizard who is threatening to start a war for the second time in three decades," she said matter-o-factly. "The guy's a freaking maniac. He needs to go down ASAP, if only for our own safety," she paused for a moment, then said, "Actually, he was almost killed fifteen years ago by his own juts- I mean, spell. It rebounded off the child he was trying to murder. That child is the only link we have to this guy. Voldemort has been trying to take revenge on the poor kid repeatedly for the last four years. And that kid goes to Hogwarts." Tsunade shrugged. "Otherwise we have no leads and no idea where to look. Hogwarts is the only way to go. Besides, with Orochimaru and the Akustuki gone, there's nothing huge going on here, so any missions you guys take will be reconnaissance." She smirked at them sadistically. "You wouldn't want that, would you?"

Sasuke, Naruto, and Neji shuddered in sync. Anything was better than recon.

"Fine, I accept the mission."

"Good, now get outta my office. Naruto will brief you on the details. Dismissed."


Oh, shit, he's mad at me. I can tell. Crap…Naruto thought. He was afraid of few things, but Sasuke… The thought of losing his friendship after they were finally so close was more than Naruto could bear.

He knew he was being unreasonable. Sasuke would understand, right? He wouldn't blame Naruto…would he?

Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke exited Tsunade's office in complete silence, the usually hyper blond deep in thought. The halls were deserted, not a huge surprise. But Naruto's mind was elsewhere. He didn't know how approach Sasuke on the subject of his promotion. The guy was unreadable when he wanted to be, and Naruto has no idea what to do. He brought his ponytail over his shoulder and began to twirl it between his fingers, a nervous action he had developed since growing his hair out.

Should I just come out and apologize? Should I wait for him to talk to me? Or maybe we'll never speak of this again. Shit shit shit shit….

A low voice in the back of his mind growled, As amusing as your angsty little inner monologue is, I would appreciate it if you would just shut up already

Stay out of this, Kyuubi, Naruto retorted, using his chakra to direct his thoughts, I'm not in the mood.

Over the years, Naruto had become strong enough to form mental ties to the Demon Fox. At first their relationship had been rocky, Kyuubi condescending and Naruto rude, but since then they had formed a steady partnership. Kyuubi provided Naruto with knowledge of jutsus and his youki, while Naruto offered companionship and a vessel for the demon's soul.

Just talk to him and get it over with!

It's not that simple, Kyuu!

Hmph. You cubs are so over-dramatic. The longer you wait, the worse things will become. Besides, listening to you whine is boring.

Gee, you're so considerate…

I try.

Naruto scoffed. The fox could be annoying sometimes, but…he had a point. He couldn't put this off forever. He resolved that, as soon as they were alone, he would have a word with Sasuke. And if he had anything to say about it, Naruto could just order him to shut up. Oooh… being Sasuke's commanding officer was gonna be fuuuun…

Kyuubi sent a comforting wave of energy into Naruto's consciousness. That's the way, kit.


Sasuke and Naruto bid Neji goodnight outside of the Hyuuga Compound. After some discussion the two decided to go to Sasuke's place for the mission debriefing (as Taichou, it was Naruto's responsibility) because it was bigger and better kept than Naruto's tiny apartment. They stopped by the apartment on the way, though, to pick up some heavy, unmarked cardboard boxes. Sasuke was curious, but Naruto was being secretive and refused to reveal their contents until they had gotten to Sasuke's home.

They arrived at the compound somewhat later than expected, slowed down by the hefty boxes. Sasuke obligingly held the door open for Naruto, who darted in and set his load next to the low black leather couch in the center of the main room. Sasuke held back a small chuckle. Trust Naruto to waltz right in like he owns the place.

He followed Naruto his large, needlessly ornate home and placed his parcel next to the others. Naruto sat with his back to Sasuke, his head slightly tilted, one hand on his hip, the other twirling through his long blond hair. By his posture, Sasuke could tell that he was thinking very hard.

He frowned. Something was off. Naruto never bothered to think much unless he was sad or in one of his rare emo moods. Sasuke decided to break him out of his reverie.

Sneaking up as silently as ninja-ly possible, the Uchiha pounced, putting Naruto in a headlock and noogie-ing him as ruthlessly as he could. Naruto burst into a fit of helpless laughs and tried to break free of the "attack", but failed miserably, succeeding only in knocking his ANBU mask to the hardwood floor with a clatter. A few seconds later Sasuke had mercy on the poor blonde and released him.

Naruto immediately tackled Sasuke and forced him to the floor.

"HA! Pinned ya!"

"Not on your life," Sasuke growled, pushing his blonde adversary up and taking the offensive.

An intense wrestling match ensued.

Fifteen minutes later, both shinobi reclined tiredly on the leather sofa, Naruto nursing what was quickly becoming a magnificent black eye.

"You didn't have to use your elbow, teme…," he said sourly.

"I said I was sorry, geez. What, you want another one?" Sasuke waved his fist threateningly.

Naruto laughed, "No thanks, I'll leave looking like a raccoon to Gaara." He paused, his smile fading. "…So…are you mad at me?"

Sasuke blinked. Oh, so that is the reason… He rested his elbow on the arm of the couch and leaned his cheek on his palm. "I thought I said back in Tsunade-sama's office, I don't care one way or the other. I'm not angry. If that's how it's gonna be, that's how it's gonna be. 'Que sera, sera' and all that."

Naruto stared at him. "Who are you and what have you done with Sasuke? All of those solitary recon assignments must be getting to your head, teme."

"Maybe I'm just too tired to care, and I'll thrash you later."

"Or maybe you're turning into a lazy-ass like Shikamaru."

"Or maybe you're a moron."



"Oh, it's on now!"

"Bring it, pansy."

And so a second wrestling match ensued


"Crap. Sorry, Naru, it really was an accident this time."

"Heh, by this time tomorrow, I really will look like a blonde Gaara clone. Weird."

Indeed, Naruto was now sporting two black eyes.

All of a sudden, Sasuke remembered what they were supposed to be doing. "Hey, shouldn't we be going over the mission?"

"Oh yeah! Here let me get those boxes and…"

"Wait a sec," Sasuke interrupted.

"Huh? Why?"

"Hold still and you'll see. It's completely painless, I assure you."

"Why do I find that hard to believe?"

Sasuke ignored him and placed his gloved hands over Naruto's bruised eyes. Naruto stiffened, but didn't move away, which Sasuke took as a sign for 'ok, go ahead'.

He let his chakra flow onto Naruto's skin directing it to the damaged tissue and blood vessels around his eyes. The skin turned from black, to purple, to red, and finally back to the light tan that it originally was. Sasuke lowered his hands and sighed. That jutsu was always so tiring for some reason…

"Wow, Sasuke," Naruto said excitedly after feeling the pain fade completely, "when did you learn a medic jutsu?"

Sasuke smirked, "A while ago, actually. Sakura showed me how to do it once." And he could just barely manage it himself. It was truly a wonder how well that girl could perform medic techniques.

"Cool, thanks!" Naruto reached over the arm of the couch and pulled up a box, placing it beside him. He crossed his legs and turned so that he was facing both Sasuke and the box. "Alright, now down to business." He flipped open the lid to reveal…


Naruto nodded. "Were going to be spending nine months or more in another culture, another world, Sasuke. We need to know what we're getting ourselves into. Now, I've already read through these a couple of times (that's why they were in my apartment) so it's your turn. And don't give me that look! It's important information!" He shrugged. "Anyway, we have a month tops before the school year starts so you need to finish those before then."

Naruto set the books aside.

"Our official assignment is to protect the school as a whole, but, really, we need to focus on Harry Potter and his friends and enemies. They're the most likely source for clues on the whereabouts of Voldemort. There's an organization of anti-Voldemort wizards led by Dumbledore called the Order of the Phoenix, but for some reason Dumbledore's buddies don't trust us enough to let us in on their little group's info. So were basically searching blind. Technically we're not allowed to bother the Potter kid… but since when did we play by the rules?"

"So really," Sasuke said, "what we're going to do is follow Potter constantly, and watch his friends and enemies for leads, and guard the entire school all at once for nine months straight?"

"Yup, pretty much."

"But how are we supposed to search for Voldemort if we're stuck at the school?"

"Ah, that's where Neji comes in. See, him, Kiba, Shikamaru, Shino, Hinata, and Sakura will be out and about searching of Voldemort around the clock. Every once in a while, one of 'em will come to the school and we'll trade information."

Sasuke nodded. It was a good plan. "So it'll just be us two at the school, then. Anything else?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nope, just make sure you read these," he gestured to the box of books, "as soon as possible. We can leave anytime within the next three weeks." He stood, stretched, and picked up his mask from the floor. "And get a new one of these while you're at it. Make it extra spooky so we can freak the students out," He grinned mischievously, "Ya know, for some reason, I think this's gonna be a blast."

Surprisingly, Sasuke couldn't agree more.


And there you have it. I will continue to post if you review. If not, then, well, your loss.


And just for fun: Naruto Name Translations! Yaaaaaay!

Naruto steamed fish paste cake(yum), or maelstrom.---Uzumaki Whirlpool.

Sasuke name of a legendary ninja.---Uchiha wa/ha character switch to make "fan" hence the clan symbol.

Sakura cherry blossoms. ---Haruno spring field.

Kakashi scarecrow. ---Hatake dry field.