A/N: I couldn't resist writing this one, seriously. It's just a little CS humor oneshot. Enjoy :)
It all started with one little mark on the calendar—June 3rd. To the boys it was just another typical Wednesday. Catherine knew better than that—every month this 'typical Wednesday' was what she dreaded. It was what every woman dreaded.
Normally under no circumstances whatsoever would she want Sara to be in the lab on these days. Unfortunately with Sara's stubborn attitude and days and nights being backed-up she didn't have much of a choice today.
Nick was coming out of the DNA lab when it all started. Sara raced past him, clearly upset and dangerously close to tears. "Sara?" he called after her. When she continued on her way down the hallway he began to follow her. "Sar? Sara, slow down! What's going on?"
Instead of turning around to acknowledge him, Sara kept going straight down the hallway until she made it to the women's restroom. Once there she threw the door open and slammed it behind her, making quite a few lab-techs turn their heads at the booming noise from the hallway.
"Whoa, what did you do?" Greg asked, jogging up behind Nick after hearing the sound. "Did you tell her a bad joke?"
"No Greg, I didn't tell her a bad joke," Nick dryly replied. "I don't know, Sara looked pretty upset."
"Let me go see," Greg volunteered. And without another word he handed Nick the results he had gotten from Hodges and walked off toward the women's restroom door. "Sara?" he called, knocking.
"Greg, maybe you should just leave her alone," Nick suggested. Don't do it, man, he tried to mentally warn him. Just walk away!
Greg ignored him, deciding that knocking was getting him nowhere and to just walk inside instead. "Hey Sara!"
"Go away, Greg!" Nick winced as he heard Sara shout inside.
"Whoa, Sara, where's the fi—"
There was a crash and in a matter of seconds Greg was stumbling out of the women's restroom, a look of pure horror on his face. "I think she just threw a tampon applicator at me!"
"Ouch man, that's gotta dampen your ego," Nick tried not to chuckle. Then, with a sigh, he looked around. "I guess we should let Cath handle this one."
"Let me handle what?" Catherine asked, appearing around the corner. She had been observing the exchange the entire time laughing to herself but they didn't need to know that. When Sara started throwing thing—feminine hygiene products nonetheless—it was definitely time for her to step in.
"Sara's gone… wild!" Greg exclaimed, his eyes wide and hands moving around swiftly. "And I don't mean the 'Girls Gone Wild' type of wild, I mean the tampon-throwing 'I hate your guts' type of wild!"
Nick rolled his eyes, looking over at Catherine. "Do you know what's wrong, Cath?"
"Oh yeah, Nicky," Catherine nodded with a sigh, rolling up her sleeves. "Let me handle this one, boys."
The strawberry-blonde entered through the women's restroom strangely calm; Greg was practically biting his nails. Both Nick and Greg didn't exactly know what was going on, so, being the nosy type of fellows they were (and experienced investigators), they walked over to the wall and tried to listen to their conversation.
"Cath, get out!" Sara, sounding as venomous as ever.
"Sara honey, calm down." Catherine still sounded quite calm.
"Get away, I just want to be alone!"
"Sara, you're being ridiculous. I can't remember the last time you had a case of PMS this badly—"
Nick and Greg both shot each other looks—well now it made sense.
"I resent that!"
"Sara Marie Sidle, I am giving you to the count of three to open this damn stall door."
Sara didn't reply. Nick and Greg both listened closely, afraid they had missed her smart retort, but it never came.
"One…" Catherine started. Silence followed. "Two…""Why doesn't Sara just open the door?" Greg whispered to Nick who shrugged in response.
Wait. That didn't fit.
Nick and Greg both immediately glanced over at each other. Generally a moan didn't follow sounds of chaos.
"Ohhh just like that…" Whatever was going on, Catherine was sure making it sound pretty appetizing. Greg would've made a move to join them if it hadn't been for the next few booms and bangs.
SLAM! BANG! CRASH!
The next sound that followed was heavy breathing. Nick, ever the gentlemen, turned and walked off back toward the DNA lab before things got more heated… whatever it was they were doing. When Greg didn't follow Nick yanked him over by his arm as the women's restroom door opened and both women emerged.
Sara looked over at both Greg and Nick, her eyes red and puffy, her hair in a tangled ponytail and her blouse torn at the collar. Catherine tapped her on the shoulder and whispered something into her ear and just like that she walked off down the hallway to the entrance of the lab.
"…Catherine?" Nick asked, finally able to form a coherent thought.
"Yes, Nicky?" Catherine asked, running a hand through her messy hair and wiping some sweat from her forehead with her sleeve.
"How do you live with that?" Greg butted in. "She practically bit my head off!"
With a sly grin Catherine walked over to both of them and lifted away her shirt collar for a moment so that her neck was exposed, along with the two nice red marks from Sara's mouth she had attained during the scuffle. "The sex is awesome."
"CATH!" Sara shouted from the front of the lab when she noticed she wasn't following behind her. "Are you coming or not?"
Shooting both Greg and Nick—whose jaws were to the floor—a wink, Catherine turned and walked off, exiting through the doors of the lab behind Sara.
Nick and Greg remained in the middle of the lab for a good five minutes before they found the courage to speak again. It was Greg who dared to open his mouth.
"Hey," Warrick interrupted, strolling toward them in the hallway in his normal attire for a court date. "I just got back from court. What did I miss?"