A/N: This is an apology gift to my readers for the lack of updates. It started out as as an experiment with repetition, then stream of conciousness wormed its way in. It began as angst and degenerated into sap. Fear the sap! All I can hope is that it isn't too bad. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, who I pray will never see this.

Warnings: Sex. Now that I have your attention, yes there are several brief depictions of/discussion of sex in this story, however it is non-explicit. I'm giving it a mature rating, but please leave if sex between Naruto and Sasuke offends you. Also beware of TWT (Timeline? What Timeline?). This speculates about Sasuke's return after Itachi's death, but their ages are never specified. Does that make this AU? (ponders)

The first time Naruto and Sasuke had sex, it was in the rain. Not a warm, romantic summer rain that makes clothing cling provocatively to one's skin, but a freezing deluge that plastered Naruto's blond spikes to his skull and turned Sasuke's lips an unhealthy blue. Naruto had never imagined that during his first time he'd be on his hands and knees in a sea of mud, Sasuke's long legs wrapped around his waist, Itachi's cooling body not even ten feet away. As Naruto stared down at the boy who'd been his best friend, he watched the rivulets of water run down Sasuke's cheeks and couldn't tell if they were rain or tears.

The second time Naruto and Sasuke had sex, it was two weeks later. Sasuke was ensconced in one of the smaller houses of the Uchiha district, an ANBU guard all around it. They hadn't spoken of the incident; in fact Sasuke hadn't spoken at all during the return to Konoha, despite Sakura's encouragement. The only time he'd opened his mouth was to give the dull admission of guilt at his trial before the council. Naruto had been on eggshells awaiting the verdict and was overjoyed at the relatively lenient sentence. He expressed his joy by showing up on Sasuke's doorstep, a take-out bag from an impromptu trip to the Ichiraku clutched in his fist like a peace offering. The door had at last opened under his exuberant pounding, but words died in Naruto's throat as soon as he saw the other boy. Sasuke was gone, replaced by a dead-eyed wraith wearing his best friend's clothing and making tea instead of antagonizing Naruto with repetitive insults. The wraith did not respond to even Naruto's attempts to entice him into a fistfight, but merely handed him a cup steaming green tea.

Naruto looked at his friend. He looked at the cup of tea. He threw the scalding liquid in Sasuke's face. The other boy recoiled backwards, hands flung up to wipe the burning tea from his eyes, but Naruto was already under his guard. His hands wound tightly around the other boy's wrists and he crushed their mouths together in a clumsy, bruising kiss. Number one ninja at surprising. The act was shocking enough that he could feel Sasuke, the real Sasuke, attempting to twist away in shock before trying to fold back into himself. Oh no you don't. Naruto thought fiercely and tripped the other boy, winding Sasuke as he landed on his chest. His friend squirmed in panic, but Naruto licked and kissed and bit until he finally felt retaliatory teeth sink into the side of his neck. And then everything wasn't alright, but it would be, because there was spark of fire in Sasuke's eyes and they had angry, passionate sex in Sasuke's living room, probably in full view of every ANBU guard in the area, but that didn't matter at all.

It happened on and off after that, collateral of a relationship which had been shattered at the Valley of the End and had to be built back from the ground up, changed, but stronger for the healed cracks. But still they never spoke of it, Naruto because he feared touching upon the subject and Sasuke for his own avoidant reasons. Naruto doubted that the cold boy even had the word "lover" as a part of his vocabulary, but somehow he couldn't help but hope. Maybe it was the way that rigid, controlled body would soften, allowing him inside in a moment of weakness no one else ever saw. Or the little sigh he gave in the afterglow of orgasm, the only sound he made during sex. Or the cautious way he would wind himself around Naruto's body, like a cat fitting into the curves of a comfortable pillow, when he thought the other boy was asleep. Or the anonymous gifts of ramen tickets on dates of importance. But whatever it was, Naruto couldn't help but fall in love.

A/N: I appreciate all forms of feedback. Please read and review.