Summary: It was too much for me to bear. If I had to spend one more day living with him and staring at him and just watching him all the goddamn time… I'd go mad.
Dating Status: Before
Notes: Subtext, What Subtext?! (…nevermind…) This was actually sitting in the wrong folder, so I didn't find it until now. Sorry… I'm clumsy when it comes to saving things hastily…
I had to tell him. It was too much for me to bear, and if I had to spend one more day living with him and staring at him and just watching him all the goddamn time, thinking about how much I'd love to simply spend time with him or hold him or kiss him or fuck him or, hell, play ping-pong with him, just to stare at his face longer… I'd go mad. Not the crazy kind, really, but the angry get-the-fuck-outta-my-way kind of angry that would drive him away, and then I'd go the crazy-kind of mad and get depressed and start the circle all over again. And that would suck.
And so I ended up by his door near midnight, decision already made: I was going to tell him, despite the consequences, and at least let him know. I was fucking Roy Harper, beloved by teens and housewives everywhere, idolized by many but slept with by few—so why couldn't I get the balls enough to tell the only man I'd ever felt attracted to how I felt? No, that's such a girlie word, 'felt,' but I guess with the new burst of rainbow-unicorn-pinkshirted gay, I could think words like 'felt' when all manly inhibitions screamed out in horror.
I felt like any day now, I'd wake up and put on my uniform and realize that instead of a flashy red and yellow design, it would turn to a pink and soft-pastel yellow. My arrows would become hearts, my quiver covered in lace and silk and that fuzzy kind of fabric that Starfire attached to the Wester's toilet seat covers.
There was no answer when I knocked. The only reply came from down the hallway, a series of murmurs and throaty growls that sounded a bit like a caveman. One voice was Aqualad, but the other… I didn't recognize.
When their shadows fell across the light of the hallway, I practically fell around the corner, leaning around the wall until only my eyes were exposed to them. I was sure they couldn't see me, but I could see them perfectly when they walked in front of the window.
And fucking god in hell, I wished right then that I was the most blind, deaf, emotionless man that had ever been born.
The two were like one, Aqualad wrapped up in someone else's arms, being pushed backwards down the hallway through a kiss they were afraid to disconnect from. The tall, bronze-haired one slammed Aqualad into the wall beside the door, muttering something into his neck as webbed fingers groped for the right button on the panel. Face buried in he Atlantean's collarbone, the former blindly ripped down his shirt, running a hand down the shadowy, rippling chest until his fingers toyed with the waistline of the prince's jeans.
The sound Aqualad made in the back of his throat was utterly involuntary and too animalistic to have possibly come from the quiet, dark-haired teammate of mine. But it did, and that rumbling moan seemed to be the unlock code for the door; the hydraulics hissed and the two of them fell into the bedroom beyond, leaving me with Aqualad's wild, lusty grin imprinted in my head.
I didn't stay near his bedroom for fear of what I might hear, but in truth that's all I wanted. Assumptions could be made, but I wouldn't believe it until Aqualad himself told me. And even then, I might simply disregard it all.
I ended up making two decisions that night. The first, to tell Aqualad that I wanted him. The second, after I witnessed the charade of the lovers, was the decision to make him mine soon and keep him there forever.