AIM Maximum Ride Style
I'm going to be adding little stories in here when I get the chance, but until then I give you these AIM conversations. (And the underline option seems to hate me in this story, oops.)
The screen names:
The Gasman: AsphyxiationAnnialation
Thank you to magicmehome/Cupid's Jinx for the original screen name (although I think I used the wrong one) for the…
Ch. 6 The Lurve Doctor
BLINDBAT14 HAS SIGNED ON
ZEALOUS HAS SIGNED ON
zealous: I hate this!
blindbat14: Oh don't hate, it ain't nice…
zealous: why shouldn't I hate this?!
blindbat14: because I'm super-blind-kid-who-can-read-AIM. that's why.
zealous: well, I still hate this!
blindbat14: stop with the hate! IT'S JUST SO CRUEL!
zealous: …… do you want me to get gas-boy to sing again?
blindbat14: I prefer not to be deaf too, thanks
zealous: aw, you feel no need to be like helen keller?
blindbat14: not particularly
blinbat14: anyway, let's move on. what exactly did you hate?
zealous: i hate the fact that the lurve doctor has yet to sign on, despite the fact that I pretty much spammed his inbox telling him to sign on to AIM or so help me Gasman I will have him studio boomed by gazzy and you
blindbat14: aw, you included me in your death rant. I feel loved.
zealous: well, you're welcome?
zealous: ON THE BRIGHT SIDE …. max and fang aren't here, so our plans are going according to ….plan.
blindbat14: that made absolutely no sense what-so-ever but OK!
zealous: and now we lay in wait…like a predator stalking its prey…
blindbat14: anaconda time!! Shall I play the 'jaws' theme song for us instead?
zealous: indeed my dear blink-kid
WEALLHAVEPROBLEMS HAS SIGNED ON
WeAllHaveProblems: Hello? Was I supposed to come here?
zealous: no. u were supposed to go to the moon.
zealous: OF COURSE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COME HERE!
WeAllHaveProblems: Yelling will not help you sort out your problems at all. The only way to get rid of your problem is to identify said problem.
WeAllHaveProblems: You must become one with your inner self.
blindbat14: or in your case, your inner stalker
WeAllHaveProblems: Excuse me?
zealous: IGGY! WE ACTUALLY NEED HIS HELP! STOP INSULTING HIM!
blindbat14: I wasn't insulting him! I was helping him identify his problem! Besides. What's with the "WeAllHaveProblems" bit?
blindbat14: No seriously, I really wanna know. Does that correspond to you and all your multiple personalities, or just to you in general?
WeAllHaveProblems: I can leave.
blindbat14: oh yes, and then we'd all go boo-hoo all the way home! THE HORROR!
zealous: IGGY! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS DECENT, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
WeAllHaveProblems: Well, I can see a few problems already.
zealous: But I haven't even told you why we need you here!
WeAllHaveProblems: Well, for starters, Mr. Bat obviously has some anxiety issues, fear of smart people, and a rather controlling demeanor.
blindbat14: oh how he sees right through me.
WeAllHaveProblems: Well you, Mr. Zealous, are obviously obsessive-compulsive, have a lack of respect for other peoples' opinions, and are the most annoying person to spam my inbox as of yet.
WeAllHaveProblems: Honestly, "Max and Fang having relationship issues"? "Max and Fang, Max's fear of commitment," "Max and Fang, Max's is mad at Fang for singing to Hello Kitty Bubble Soap"? What are those? Your little code name lingo for the two stray dogs you picked up on the streets one day?
blindbat14: and people wonder why you're single.
WeAllHaveProblems: I have a wife, thank you very much!
blindbat14: You're not welcome. Besides, I can see it now…
blinbat14: "Phyllis, let me out of the basement! How dare you bribe my father into letting me marry you! OH PHYLLIS HOW I HATE YOU!"
WeAllHaveProblems: Actually, you're just all around rude.
zealous: IT'S MS. ZEALOUS TO YOU PAL!
WeAllHaveProblems: My apologies ma'am. Sort of. And my name is PHIL. Have you not seen my show?
blindbat14: DOCTOR PHIL?! YOU'RE THE LOVE DOCTOR?!
blindbat14: my god, even fang and max aren't THAT desperate!!
WeAllHaveProblems: Wait, who am I talking to anyway?
blinbat14: and you wonder why I called you a stalker
blindbat14: Oh god, someone call Dateline! To Catch A Predator!
blindbat14: "Hello, I'm your host for 'To Catch A Predator'. And on tonight's edition, we have none other than the evil Dr. Phyllis!"
blinbat14: "I swear officer! I never meant to do it! The high pitched voice with the laundry basket told me there was iced tea in the fridge! I only wanted iced tea!!"
blindbat14: "I swear to drunk officer, I am not God!"
blindbat14: dun dun dun dun!
WeAllHaveProblems: Well excuse me for coming here to help you!
WeAllHaveProblems: AND MY NAME IS PHIL!!
blindbat14: Guess what? I DON'T CARE!
BLINDBAT14 HAS TEMPORARILY BEEN KICKED OUT OF THE CHATROOM
WeAllHaveProblems: (Dr. Phil looks up at his computer screen and blinks at what it says) Can you actually do that?
zealous: I just did, didn't I?
zealous: Ok, now that he's gone, I can finally discuss the issues with you. Ok?
WeAllHaveProblems: Um, shoot?
zealous: Um, er, ok… Well, you see there's these two people, I'll call them "Max" and "Fang". And there's a problem.
WeAllHaveProblems: Mmhm, go on.
zealous: See, they both love each other, but neither will admit it. Max came close to telling him on the AIM chatroom, but Fang's ex came on and ruined everything. To top it all off, Max has holed herself up in her room too afraid to talk to Fang now, and Fang can't get her to open up.
zealous: What should they do?
WeAllHaveProblems: Well, for starters, the one you call "Fang" should buck up the courage to tell the one you call "Max" how he really feels. Max, in turn, should also find the courage to tell Fang how she feels, and should come out of her room first.
WeAllHaveProblems: Once they tell each other that they love one another, things will be all fine and dandy.
zealous: you're kidding right?
zealous: have you ever been in love?
WeAllHaveProblems: Well, I'm married aren't I?
zealous: …Right. But see, the thing is, you don't know Max or Fang like I do. Neither of them have the courage to say how they feel.
WeAllHaveProblems: And why do you say that?
zealous: Because they're just not like that. And uh, like I said, you don't know them like I do.
WeAllHaveProblems: And how well do you really know them?
zealous: Well, let's see… I've known them for almost my whole life; I've spent years locked up in a dog crate with them. We lived with Jeb for years until he went all commando and ran off on us, and we've been on the run for our lives even since Erasers completely annihilated our house.
zealous: And to top it all off, I'm desperate enough for them to be together that I've come to you.
zealous: and that's saying a lot.
WeAllHaveProblems: ………………Am I getting punk'd?
blindbat14: Not unless you call me blowing up your studio 'getting punk'd'
zealous: how did you get back on here?
blindbat14: that's for me to know, and you to …never know.
WeAllHaveProblems: Look, you both obviously need to sort out your priorities before I can truly help you. You have that taken care of, feel free to stop by my show.
blindbat14: no, thanks
zealous: wait, can you actually help us or not?
WeAllHaveProblems: Until you get your over active imagination in order, I'm afraid there's nothing I can really do.
blindbat14: Uh-oh Phyllis, you shouldn't have said that…
blindbat14: (dives into bomb shelter)
zealous: OVER ACTIVE IMAGINATION?! I'VE BEEN TORUTRED FOR MOST OF MY LIFE, AND YOU CALL THOSE WOUNDS AND SCARS AN OVER ACTIVE IMAGINATION?!
WeAllHaveProblems: And you have anger issues.
zealous: I HATE YOU! DR. PHIL, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOUR SHOW NEVER AGAIN SEES THE LIGHT OF ANOTHER DAY!!
blindbat14: you want some fries to go with that? because you just got SERVED!
WeAllHaveProblems: I can see where I'm not welcomed.
zealous: WELL THAT MAKES THREE OF US THEN. DOESN'T IT?!
WeAllHaveProblems: Honestly, calm down a bit.
zealous: BITE ME!
WeAllHaveProblems: You see-
blindbat14: Eeeeeeet. (or some buzz-type noise) Newsflash, no one cares.
WeAllHaveProblems: You know, you can also sit in the audience during one of my shows, and see if that enlightens your views.
zealous: yes, listen to the Buddha!
blindbat14: are u serious Phyllis?
zealous: buddha, buddha, buddha!
WeAllHaveProblems: (sighs) Well, tickets aren't that expensive.
zealous: contrary to your idiotic belief, I for one feel no desire to visit your blue collar comedy tour
WeAllHaveProblems: It's not a comedy tour, it's-
blindbat14: goodbye, not wanted person!
WeAllHaveProblems: Excuse me-
WEALLHAVEPROBLEMS HAS BEEN BLOCKED FROM THE CHATROOM
blindbat14: and you could have called in oprah
zealous: don't start iggy.
blindbat14: fine, fine
blindbat14: so, uh, whadda ya say?
zealous: say to what?
blindbat14: howzabout we go pay our dear friend Phyllis a little visit eh?
zealous: (evil grin) oh, let's
Needless to say, Dr. Phil would never get over his newfound fear of Avian-American kids named Iggy and Nudge.
Enjoy for what it is now folks, because that was the last chapter of "AIM Maximum Ride Style"!
The next chapter will be the first chapter of "Randomness to the Max"!
See? I probably made one of you nervous, two of you scared, three of you happy, and the rest of you confused!
If I offended any of you with this chapter or my insulting Dr. Phil, my apologies.
Personally, I enjoyed writing out Iggy yelling at Dr. Phil. XD
Any more chapter of this fanfiction will be in actual story format, and I hope you like it.
In the next chapter, you get to accompany Iggy and Nudge on their visit to Dr. Phil's studio.
So, um, yeah. If I think of anything else to say, you'll probably see it later on it the story!
It will still features OOC charaters, randomness, creepy thoughts, explosions, Faxness, 'KISSY KISSY! ', The Lurve Doctor, and Hello Kitty Bubble Soap.