Author's Note: This story does not take place within continuity of any of my other stories, so you don't have to have read any of my stuff to enjoy. This story does, however, take place after the events of Stop Team Go. A lot of credit goes to MrDrP for this first chapter. Enjoy, and as always, write a review and get a response.
Steve Barkin continued apply the cold, dripping wet, soapy washcloth to his wounds. As an ex-military man, he prided himself on never showing pain, never. Still, he couldn't help but to wince as his dog bites continued to sting at their treatment. A good sign though, the teacher told himself. They weren't infected.
Looking up from his care within the comfort of his own living room, Steve Barkin continued to reflect on the events of the past couple days.
His flower. His angel. Her voice was like a choir of heavenly stars. Her face was like that lifted from a goddess. She was perfect. Beyond perfect. She was more than mortal man deserved.
A flash inspiration passed over his smitten expression as Steve Barkin turned over to his pencil and well worked pad of paper, as he quickly jotted down the ninety third thing he loved about Miss Go; the way she inspired his inner poet. This was right above the ninety second; the cute way in which she so neatly stapled papers together with the edges so perfectly atop one another.
Taking a moment to sigh, Barkin allowed his gaze to scan up and down the list. The way she smiled, the way she fidgeted with her shoes, the way she reservedly kept her hands on her lap… each one seemed to bring a new memory to mind, until finally Barkin let out a content sigh as he fell back into his couch.
What had happened? What had gone wrong? Theirs had been a true love. How could she have turned away from him so easily? Was it something he had done or said? Why wouldn't she tell him?
His inner doubt and turmoils aside, Steve Barkin resolved to win her back. He would reclaim his angel, his flower, his gentle bumblebee.
"Ok, I'm not too casual of a violent person, but I'm seriously all about some recreational hurting someone in about three seconds here." Shego threatened as she stormed into her employer's laboratory to have a few choice words with the good doctor, possibly or not intermingled with some fists and the application of sharp objects to skin.
The employer in question, one Dr. Drakken, continued to weld away at his latest experiment, lost in his endeavors, completely oblivious to all else within his stone lair, including the hour. At two in the morning, if Shego wasn't doing evil, then she was sleeping. However, as she was neither sleeping nor doing evil, this left her mood in foul spirits.
"Yes, yes. Oh my sweet beauty." Dr. Drakken could only scarcely be heard over the sound of his welder in hand as he finished the last few touches on a brutish hulk that lay before him, covered over mostly by a white sheet. The blue skinned mad villain never looked away once as he finished his final touches. "That's it! At last. I am a god. I am a … urk."
"Listen up almighty one." Shego grabbed at his collar, pulling his startled face to hers, still fuming. "Do you have any idea how late it is? Some of us are trying to sleep! And by some of us, I mean me! The angry one."
"Ah, Shego." Dr. Drakken took some care with his tone as he asked in his best imitation of a sweet voice. "Did I wake you?"
"No." Shego spit out through gritted teeth. "You see, if you had woke me, that would mean I had already been asleep at some point. I haven't been able to get a wink all night and I am starting to lose my patience about it!"
"Hehe, sorry." Drakken vented his collar before turning back to the mysterious project beneath the cloth. "Still, it was worth it. For just as the good Dr. Frankenstein craved godhood by creating life, so too, have I, Dr. Drakken transcended mortality with my latest creation. Shego, I give you… the Drakebot version 2.0."
Drakken pulled aside the large cloth to reveal a prone figure at least eight feet tall and bulking. The figure was human shaped, in that it appeared to have two enormous beams that were designed like arms, and another two that were placed in the approximation of legs. The face, obviously meant to have been carved in Drakken's likeness, bore the vaguest of similarities as the cold, metal grey hulk's yellow eyes glowed. The figure rose itself awkwardly up right, standing up, towering over Shego and Drakken.
"Ha ha, it's beautiful." Drakken cackled before rushing over, throwing his arms around its brutish frame. "Oh, aren't you? Yes you are. You are daddy's boy, yesh. Yesh you are." Drakken began to gush.
"Ugh. Gag me." Shego just crossed her arms as she shook her head at the pity of the moment. "Does this little overgrown toaster of a friend you've made for yourself actually do anything?"
"Oh yee of little faith, Shego." Drakken's smile grew sinister as he reached into his lab coat, retrieving a remote control which he aimed at Drakebot, his finger steadying itself over a specific button. "Observe the attack mode."
As Drakken pressed down on the remote, the robot's eyes began to glow as it moved, turning to face down Shego and Drakken. Its mouth opened as activated its controls.
"Ha-Ha- Ha. Stayin-Alive. Stayin-Alive. Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha Staying Aliiiiiive." The robot began to throw its right arm upward into the air, pointing before bringing it down across his chest, pointing to the ground, and then back up into the air, dancing in beat with the music coming from its stero.
"Disco fever?" Shego asked as she looked over to Drakken, fuming over his remote.
"Grr. I needed to use some of the parts from the DVD player to build him. I must have left it in the player." Drakken continued to press buttons on the remote even as he initiated another function within his creation.
"Uhh, Dr. D, your toy's got paper coming out of its butt."
Drakken merely growled again in frustration. "I knew I had done something with the fax machine."
At this, Shego simply grabbed the remote from the confused doctor, pressing the power button, and causing it to shut down.
"Look, save the science projects for the morning, I'm going to sleep. And this time: Nothing Will Disturb Me! Got it?" Shego asked with iron resolve in her voice.
Dr. D's face merely fell in disappointment and acknowledgement as Shego stormed out of his laboratory. He gave his remote a dejected slap, even as the right arm rose again, ejecting two pieces of perfectly cooked bread.
"Ooh, my toast is done."
Steve Barkin continued to sneak down the halls of Middleton High. The ex soldier had to admit his own discomfort at having to sneak down the very halls that he often took pride in strolling masterfully down for the display of the students and faculty, but this was a unique occasion. While it wasn't technically illegal for him to be here, he'd rather not have to explain himself to any one he didn't have to.
Barkin made his way to locker in question. Sure enough, one of the few lockers in the school where the student had actually locked it, rather than just slam the door shut to make it appear locked for faculty satisfaction. Removing a slip of paper he had retrieved from his records in his office, Barkin entered the correct combination, opening it and revealing the computer set up. Barkin had only caught a glimpse of the set up once or twice in passing, but to be looking at now, he had to admit, he was impressed.
Less than two seconds later, and the computer screen snapped to life, revealing the image of a disheveled, squinty eyed, dark skinned hacker desperately attempting to wipe the sleep from his eyes.
"Kim? It's the middle of the… oh. Hi, I mean, hello sir." The image of Wade Load had been prepared to let out a wide yawn, but quickly snapped to attention when he saw who it was.
"Enough with the chit chat, hacker kid. I need some info, pronto." Mr. Barkin tried to summon his most formal voice of authority.
"Uhh, yeah. Sure. Uhmm, do Kim and Ron know about this?" Wade asked uneasily.
"Not the issue. Tell me what you know about Miss Go." Barkin cut to the chase without bothering to explain himself.
"Wha… you mean Shego?"
"Look kid, quit stalling. She said she and Possible knew each other. And if she and Possible know each other, then you must know who she is. Isn't that what you do? Aren't you her day planner or something?" Barkin asked without really wanting to know.
"Tech support." Wade clarified with a slight edge to his voice. An edge that was almost immediately dulled by the look in Barkin's eyes. "Uh, well if you want to know about Shego, I suppose I can give you the abridged version of her rap sheet."
"I beg your pardon." At this, Steve Barkin had to bat an eye.
"Sorry to tell you this, but your Miss Go is probably the most wanted person on the planet." At this, Wade pulled up an image of Shego in action. Barkin's eyes widened and he felt his heart skip a beat. It was her. Miss Go.
Over the course of the next few minutes, Wade gave the quick history of Shego, including a long, long, long list of all the crimes she was confirmed or at least suspected of having committed within the last three months.
"She…uh, she gets around." Barkin could scarcely believe it. Not his Miss Go. Not the only teacher in Middleton High to be squeamish about the idea of sending a student to detention. Something wasn't adding up. "Does, does she have a sister by chance? A twin maybe?"
"A couple brothers. No sisters." Wade answered.
"Then who was Miss Go?" Barkin pleaded with Wade desperately. It felt like he knew less now that he did before he tried to get some answers.
"Shego is Miss Go." Barkin continued to stare at Wade in confusion until finally Wade gave a long explanation. As Barkin continued to listen, his face morphed into further and further states of confusion and disbelief until finally he could take no more.
"Is this something that Possible and Stoppable would understand?"
"Uh, yes." Wade answered a little uneasily.
"Fine. So where I do I get one of these Attitude adjustors?"
"Attitudinator. Thing is, Hench Co. discontinued them. Nobody bought them. Turns out the villains weren't too comfortable with a device that could turn them into a good guy." Wade explained.
"Well there must be one left somewhere." Barkin pleaded again. He refused to believe that he had sought through one of the most confusing and long winded explanations of all time for nothing.
"No, 'fraid not. Well, except… oh." Suddenly realizing that he had said something he shouldn't have said, Wade's features tightened. Too little too late.
"What?" Hope flashed across Barkin's face and in his voice as his eyes widened in focus on the image before him.
"Uhh, nothing. Nothing." Wade insisted quickly.
Barkin's features hardened as he steeled his gaze. Barkin had faced down a hundred teenage punks in his time, and military service before that. All of it be damned if he would allow some scared little hacker to stand before him now.
"Do you know, mister super genius, that you are still required to pass through high school in the state of Colorado, regardless of how well you test? Even if it is only for a year, you must still pass through my halls if you want to go to college and fulfill state requirements. Even it is only for a single academic year, I can still make that year a living nightmare for you. I can double check and triple check your assignments. I can make sure that you attend your classes on time to the second on the clock. Ask Stoppable. I can be your worst nightmare."
A frightened gulp was audible even over the computer speakers. "Well, there's a chance, a chance that there is still one left."
A loud snore filled his bedroom as Ron Stoppable rested peacefully in his bed. With his naked mole rat next to him, the two snored in almost perfect unison.
A tap at the window went unheeded. So did the second and third. Finally, a large knock, brought Ron and Rufus back into the waking world.
"Wha-whuzzit? Nacos?" Ron asked groggily as he tried to wipe his eyes awake. Another forceful tap brought his attention to his window where he moved to open.
"Mr. Barkin?" Ron asked, convinced he was still dreaming as his teacher fell into his room, only to bring himself up to eye level.
"Stoppable, I need your help." Barkin insisted as he brought himself upright, dusting himself off with his hands. "We're going on a field trip."
"We are?" Ron asked, sleep still in his voice as he looked over at his alarm clock. "At three in the morning?"
"Get your Attitudinator. We're paying a visit to Miss Go."
At this, Ron snapped wide awake. "Oh no. No, no no no no no. No way. No how. Uh-uh." Ron insisted, cutting his hands across the air in decisiveness.
"Stoppable, that is an order soldier." Barkin commanded.
"Well tough nuts to the orders. I am not messing around with that thing ever again and I sure as heck am not going to try and find Shego just so you two can get all kissy and gross." Ron insisted.
"Pleht! Yuck." Rufus agreed from atop Ron's shoulder.
Barkin seemed to be trying to maintain his air of superiority, but he finally could take no more. Collapsing to his knees, he grabbed Ron by his bed shirt. "Please Stoppable! Please, please."
"Arrgh! You're touching me!" Ron cried out in panic.
"I just want her back." Barkin broke down. "I need her back. I've never met anyone like her. Someone who can appreciate the value of my subscriptions to U.S Munitions Weekly. She is the wind beneath my wings. She is the sound within my voice."
"Eww, double gross." Ron winced at the romantic comparisons.
"She is the sand beneath my feet." Barkin went on, lost in dreamy thought. "She is the rain across my face. She is…"
"Ok, ok. Enough already." Ron pleaded aloud. "Look, there are so many reasons why I should not do this, not the least of which is that Kim will string me up over the school flag pole if she finds out."
"Eww, flag pole." Rufus shivered at the thought.
"But I just want what you and Possible already have." Barkin insisted desperately. "Is that so much to ask for?"
"Ho boy." Rufus' face fell in perfect unison with Ron's.
"Oh man. Talk about the guilt trip."
Within her bedroom, Kim Possible continued to slumber away in blissful silence, her Pandaroo clutched tightly within her arms.
The chime of her wrist Kimmunicator on her nightstand slowly woke Kim from her warm slumber and into the waking world. Slowly reaching over to take the device in her hand, she let out a wide yawn before answering. "Ron, for the last time, we're dating, Shego and I are still enemies, and you are not…"
"Kim, it's me." Wade insisted urgently, immediately getting Kim's attention.
"Wade, it's the middle of the night." Kim reminded over a yawn. "If it's a hit, just forward them to GJ. They get paid to work this late."
"It's not a hit. It's something worse."
"Are you sure about this Mr. B?" Ron asked uneasily even as he clutched tightly to the Attitudinator in hand.
"Positive." Barkin insisted as he continued to look through his binoculars in hand at the lair just half a mile away. "I spotted a back way in the last time I was here. Just above that tree line." Barkin indicated with his finger. "I figure we can get in as long as everyone inside is asleep."
"No, I mean are you sure you want to go to all this trouble just to get a date on Saturday night?" Ron asked, still troubled by the ethics of what they were about to do. "I'm just saying; have you tried personal ads?"
"Computer dating service."
"Friend of a friend?"
"The judge said I'm not allowed to talk about that." Barkin admitted as he lowered his binoculars. "Come on." And with that, he grabbed Ron roughly by his mission shirt, making his way for the path hidden beneath the foliage.
From within the cockpit of the plane, Kim Possible continued with a rough determination to check all of her mission gear. Having finished, she made her way to the door in the side of the plane and opened, allowing the rush of air outside to flow in.
Looking down below her at the mountain lair of Drakken, Kim pushed her goggles back to her head and gave a drop. She was on a mission. And when she was done with that mission, she had no doubt that there would be hell to pay.
From within her chair propped up against a nearby console, Shego continued to snore loudly, oblivious to the images on the security cameras in front of her showing Ron and Steve Barkin as they continued to make their way through the lair. She just slept away, completely unaware.
"There she is." Barkin whispered in a hushed awe as he and Ron entered the chamber, noting the slumbering Shego before them. "Look how graceful she is. How majestic."
Ron and Rufus looked at each other in wide eyed disbelief before turning over to see Shego scratch at herself in her sleep.
"Uh, yeah." Ron agreed uneasily in a low volume. "Real peach."
"I think she is more like a plum." Barkin mused with a love struck smile on her face. "Or a nectarine, with its soft…"
"Ok, ok, enough with the fruit metaphors." Ron insisted as he held up the Attitudinator. "Let's just get this over with so I can go back to sleep and be well rested when Kim comes to kill me in the morning."
Ron made his way across the room with Barkin behind him, the pair on their tip toes. Ron had to admit, while he was uncomfortable with this plan for a whole number of reasons that he knew were way over his head, if this worked, then Team Possible would be rid of one of its worst enemies ever. As a silent thought, it occurred to Ron that if they were succesiful, and Kim never found out, it might even all work out for the best. And most importantly, his girl friend wouldn't have to string him up by his guts for the all of Middleton High to see.
This silent hope guided Ron's trembling hands as they carefully came to rest the Attitudinator atop of Shego's head. As the green skinned villainess slowly stirred, mumbling something incomprehensible to herself, both Ron and Barkin froze in their spots. Rufus could not help but to chatter silently at his tiny claws.
The moment quickly passed as the green villainess merely grumbled before falling silent again and continuing to sleep away.
Letting out a silent breath of relief, Ron's nervous hand moved up to the Attitudinator when it suddenly froze over its controls.
"What's wrong?" Barkin asked insistently in the harshest of whispers.
"I… I don't remember which button to push." Ron admitted in a hush whisper.
"What!" Barkin demanded incredulously, still doing his best to keep his voice below audible. "We came all this way and you don't even know how to work the device that this whole plan hinges on."
"Hey, this whole thing was your idea! You wanted to do this when I've had three hours of sleep. I haven't even looked at this thing for almost a year." Ron defended himself feebly.
"Oh you are so busted."
The voice froze both Ron and Barkin. The two looked down to see Shego still sleeping. Turning around, Ron wished it had been Shego instead.
"KP!" Ron cried out, louder than he had intended.
"Possible, this isn't what it looks like." Barkin could not escape the feeling of a thief caught in the act.
"Huh? Whaz guinn on?" Shego slowly slurred as her eyes began to flutter open. "Hey, what the…?" She looked up to see Kim Possible's blond sidekick and the creepy teacher guy from a few days ago standing over her, wide eyed expressions of shock and guilt in their faces.
"Grab her!" Barkin cried as he and Ron tackled Shego to the floor, the two trying to restrain her limbs.
"What the hell is this?" Shego roared as she began struggling against the two dead men atop her.
"Quick KP. Press the button on the Attitudinator! Hurry, before she hurts us… especially me, who had nothing to do with any of this and was just an innocent pawn." Ron insisted as he tried to keep Shego's palm aimed away from his body.
In the split second, Kim made a decision that she was certain she might regret later. Against her better judgment, Kim Possible leapt up into the air, covering the space across the room in a single jump and landing next to the struggling trio, even as Shego kicked Ron off of her.
"Oh you are so dead, all of you." Shego spat even as Kim came down to pick up the pressure that Ron had lost. "Especially you princess. When I get my hands on you…"
"Sorry Shego." Kim spoke as her hand made its way to the controls on the Attitudinator, activating the device as it began to shake and beep loudly.
Barkin and Kim quickly released their grip on the villainess as she suddenly went prone within the device's affects. A second later, the device powered down, and Shego slowly groaned.
"Shego, I heard something. I thought you said you were sleeping." The voice of one Dr. Drakken could be heard as the mad scientist came around the corner, catching the sight before him.
He let out a gasp. "Kim Possible… and her sidekick."
"Ron. Ron Stoppable. You know me." Ron reminded angrily. "We've been over this."
"And… her… other sidekick?" Drakken pointed uneasily at Steve Barkin. "Have we actually met before? I'm sorry; I have a hard time remembering the help."
"Hey!" Ron snapped.
"Uh, I'm Steve Barkin. I'm her principal actually." Barkin admitted somewhat uneasily.
"Wait a minute, I remember you!" Drakken suddenly rose in volume. "You were the one with those flowers and the singing and those love poems. Eww." Drakken shuttered at the thought.
"Love poems?" Kim asked, turning to Ron.
"You so don't want to know KP. I didn't want to know."
"Well, this will not stand." Drakken roared angrily. "Shego, get them!" He ordered.
"Get them what?" A soft, friendly voice that Drakken might have otherwise sworn belonged to his henchwoman were it not for its tone asked. "Some cookies or some nice milk?"
In an instant, all eyes were on Shego as she rose up off the ground, smiling widely as she made her way over towards a stunned Steve Barkin.
"Or can I get big Stevie a cold cup of water and some regulation M.R.Es?" Shego asked as she threw her arms around Barkin's neck, gazing longingly into his eyes.
Barkin's confusion was blasted away as Shego's lips came to his, locking with them passionately. For a long second, the educator's eyes shot wide in surprise, until finally, he melted within her embrace, his eyes closing with a look of pure bliss in them as his hands came to rest around her slender frame.
"Ewww." Kim, Ron, Rufus and Drakken all shuttered in perfect unison.
"So did not need to see that." Kim insisted.
"I may never sleep again." Ron admitted queasily.
"Uh-huh." Rufus concurred.
"I…uh…wha…huh?" Drakken was not able to give voice to the dozens of questions jostling on his lips, until finally his eyes came to settle down. "Arrh! The Attitudinator! Oh no, you're not putting that thing on me." Drakken insisted frantically. "I don't need any more evil fun times with any mole rats, do you hear me!"
"Hey." Rufus chattered angrily, shaking his tiny paw.
"Drakebot 2.0, attack!"
As Drakken retrieved his remote control, pressing down on the proper button this time, the enormous brutish goliath smashed its way into the room. Turning towards the three intruders in his lair and their tiny rodent, the robot's yellow eyes glowed as twin energy beams fired out.
Ducking across the room, Kim and Ron scattered as the robot moved after them.
"Ha. You're not turning me into some goody two shoes. I'm bad and I'm proud!" Drakken threatened as he continued to issue commands to his robotic henchman.
Eye beams continued to chase Kim and Ron across the room, a spare one landing three feet away from where the Attitudinator lay, knocking it across the room and into the side of the wall; the impact against the controls causing it to power on. The force of its impact caused a stray rock from the ceiling of the lair to work its way loose, falling down and knocking loose one of the glass tubules that stuck out of the side of the Attitudinator. As it powered up, crimson energy that normally gathered within the tubule was instead discharged outward across the room.
As the helmet continued to fire, hero, villain, and teacher alike began to dive for cover.
"Ahh! It's not supposed to be doing that! Why is it doing that?" Ron demanded angrily aloud as he rushed across the room, dodging stray fire. Unfortunately, he didn't bother to look in front of him as he and Dr. Drakken both rushed into each other headlong, crashing down into the floor even as Rufus fell back from the impact, landing a precious two feet away.
"Hey, watch where you're going. I don't need to be stuck making coca moo for the rest of my life you know, even if it is surprisingly delicious." Drakken ranted.
Ron was about to reply, but was never given the chance as another shot hit him square in the back, engulfing him in red light.
"Uh-oh." Drakken admitted worriedly.
"Uh-oh." Shego agreed.
"Uh-oh." Rufus added in.
"Oh no." Kim sighed.
"A Booyahahahahahahaha!" The laugh echoed across the entire lair, leaving a shiver down the spine of any and all who were familiar with it.
"This is not good." Shego stated with growing certainty.
"What?" Barkin looked at her, once again confused. "It's just Stoppable. How bad can this be?"
"Bad." Shego replied.
"Very bad!" Zorpox cackled aloud. "And bad is what I'm all about! Booyahahahaha!"
"Ok Zorpox. Fun's over." Kim Possible declared firmly as she landed right in front of him, battle ready for action.
"Kimberly Anne Possible! We meet again." Zorpox exclaimed in obvious delight.
"We see each other every day Ron." Kim reminded with a groan.
"Well don't worry. After today, you're never going to see me again." Zorpox followed through with his cryptic comment with a spin kick to Kim. However, the experienced super heroine expertly ducked the attack. Moving in flow with her own momentum, she swept out, knocking Zorpox off his feet as he landed.
"Oh you can count on that." Kim stood triumphant over him, but was quickly knocked aside as the enormous grey hulk came storming right through the both of them, running past them, apparently oblivious.
"No!" Drakken cursed as he continued to slam down at the remote. "I wanted you to squish her. Squish!" Even as Drakken shouted at the unresponsive device, Steve Barkin stepped in, grabbing the remote from Drakken's hand. "Hey, give that back!"
"Regulation one thirteen dash B. No electronic devices during school hours." The principle recited from memory as he pressed down on the device. "Looks like I win."
"No. I win!" Zorpox declared. As the others in the room turned at the sound of his voice, they could do nothing but watch as Zorpox, with the Attitudinator already in hand, came and slammed it down roughly on Kim Possible's head.
With the glass tubule from earlier replaced, the Attitudinator did exactly what it was supposed to do. As it began to glow and shake atop Kim's head, an overwhelming sense of dread came over everyone present.
"If you thought the bad boy was scary…" Zorpox declared with glee.
"… just wait till you try the bad girl." Kim admitted with a dark grin as she rose, removing the Attitudinator in hand; the two looking at the helpless audience before them.
"Uh-oh." Rufus reiterated.
"We should probably run now." Drakken admitted as he slowly tried to recall where the nearest exit was located. "For the record, if anyone else feels like screaming and crying like a little girl, I'd be only too happy to join them."
"We've got to stop them." Shego stated as she stepped before the two former super heroes.
"We do?" Barkin and Drakken asked in unison.
"Yeah!" Rufus agreed as he stepped next to Shego, ready for action.
"Come on Kimberly Anne. Let's clean their clocks." Zorpox rubbed his fists, eager for action.
"Another time." Kim let out a smile as she grabbed Zorpox by the waist, picking up her grapple gun and firing it into the ceiling, lifting the both of them up and over Shego, Drakken, Barkin and Rufus and carrying them across the room. "So long folks."
"It's going to be a bad time in the old town tonight. Booyahahahahaha!" Zorpox added.
And with that, they were gone.