Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it. I don't, etc. teehee. giggle snort

a/n: This was written in one day. So don't judge me by it.

Bella brushed another leaf out of her tangled hair, and itched at one of her many mosquito bites. For the seventeenth time, she wondered what had possessed Carlisle to buy a house in the middle of the woods. Just because the Cullens were a group of bloodsucking vampires that sparkled in the sunlight, doesn't mean they need to live so far away from civilization. God, it wasn't like they were trying to hide or anything…..

Bella giggled evilly and fidgeted with the video camera she was holding. Exited anticipation made her unable to sit still. But she really wasn't sure how to work the high-tech camera that Alice had given her to use. She settled with turning the video camera on and off. Over and over. Again and again. While not exactly technologically impaired, Bella was still not aware of the fact that she was killing the battery.

She heard a car door slam, and she whipped her head around. She fumbled with a camera, trying to turn it back on before it was too late. She held it up to her eye and waited. The lens trained on Edward's approaching figure. Out of the corner of her eye, Bella saw something small streak by, black hair blending with pale skin. She giggled again.

It happened quickly. One minute, Edward was walking up his driveway, humming some composition of his. The next, he was locked in life or (un)death battle with his adopted sister, Alice. Edward's look of surprise was visible even from where Bella was. "Alice?" He said. "Wha...What are you doing? What's going on?"

Another streak of color rushed at Edward. Rosalie had joined Alice in trying to pin Edward to the ground. Jasper and Emmett followed a second later. Now fighting four vampires, Edward realized that he had no chance of winning.

Alice let go of Edward's left arm, and stood up. Bella followed her with the camera. From what seemed like nowhere, Alice produced the ugly patchwork dress that she had rescued from the garage sale. As if anyone would have bought it anyway…..

She bent down, until she was just inches from Edward's confused and angry face. "I'm sorry Edward." She whispered. "I...I was out of blackmail. I needed to refresh my supply."

Bella was sure that if there had been any color in Edward's face in the first place, it would have drained away. A look of shocked panic marred his perfect features. "No." He whispered. "No……not again. Not that! Anything but that!" He struggled against the iron (marble?) grip of the four vampires, but nothing could have stopped his blackmail-determined siblings.

Alice paid no attention to Edward's desperate pleas. She wrestled the hideous dress over Edward's clothes. "Bella! Now!" She shouted over in the direction of the bush that Bella was hiding in. Bella popped up from behind the bush, and bounded over toward the group. Stumbling as she went, but never actually dropping the camera. She focused the camera on Edward's pained face, and then zoomed out so that his whole body was visible, in all its patchwork glory. Then the screen went black. The battery had died. Oh well, at least they still had Edward in the dress recorded.

"Bella….?" Came Alice's reprimanding voice. "Have you been messing with the camera?"

Bella blushed, shoved the camera into Alice's empty hands, and bolted. But before she reached then end of the Cullen driveway, her foot caught on some invisible snag, sending her, arms flailing wildly, to the ground. She picked herself up, wincing slightly, and attempted to escape with what little dignity she had left. But losing what little she had after falling for the forth or fifth time.

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