Sorry for the wait everyone, I just really needed to know that people were interested in the development of this story before I continued. My life is so busy these day's that I don't wanna waste time on something no one will read, but I'm so happy that's not the case for the story. Please keep reading and reviewing, gives me a confidence boost )
I lifted the phone to my ear and listened to the dial tone; did I really wanna do this? It had been a year since I'd had any contact with my former best friend Jacob Black and I wasn't complete sure if I had the guts to face up to the fact that I had made a horrible mistake in letting him go…
I lay on the bed crying for hours, still not believing that I had been such a fool to believe that Edward had truly loved me, when in reality… he was cheating on me the whole time with her... I didn't want to face the fact that Alice also knew all along and kept it from me for so long, my best friend, or so I thought. I didn't understand... I didn't want too anymore, life was over and I was done trying to keep alive in my own personal hell.
Hours passed and eventually Charlie came in, I didn't hear him enter the room or realize his presence, until he started shaking me demanding what was wrong.
I couldn't find my voice to talk, the tears we're all that my soul could take eventually though he understood and left me alone to my misery.
I'm not sure how many days I laid in that bed; time felt endless but I didn't have the strength to get myself moving ever again. The only thing I can recall of those few days was the endless phone calls, I had told Charlie earlier that I didn't want to talk to anyone, period. So on and off I could hear Charlie's voice traveling up from downstairs explaining to everyone that bothered to call that I refused to talk to anyone or have any visitors.
With time the phone stopped ringing, until the night someone refused to accept my no visitor policy.
"Bella, Wake up sweetheart... come on." I wasn't expecting the hot hands on me suddenly and my reaction time was slower then normal but I knew who it was, Who else would break into my hour at, I glanced at my alarm clock beside my bed Reading the numbers 4:01am?
I then looked up into the face of Jacob Black, it had been a few days since I last saw his face and even looking at him now and I could have sworn he had grown another three inches.
"What is it Jake…look I told everyone I didn't want visitors please leave…" My voice was horse and ruff from days of not speaking. I slowly went to turn my back on him until I was roughly pulled back to face him.
"Bella…" He whispered softly to me, and he stroked my wet stain cheek softly letting his fingers slide down to my bottom lip. I knew that he already realized that the Cullen's had left and had some idea what had happened by just looking at my face and I hated that. I didn't want him to be able to read me so easily, I grabbed his hand and attempted to push him away from me, I was getting so angry I wanted him gone. I hated being so weak... so open to him of all people.
"Fuck off Jake I'm serious", I whispered finally looking right into his eyes. His expression suddenly turned dark and he held my face tighter in his palm.
"No Bella, Don't you dare try and start this shit with me." He whispered back strongly. "You need me, I know you do... He may have left Bella..., he continued softly, but I'm never leaving you..."
Very suddenly after hearing him speak those words I finally… after days of crying snapped... It didn't take me long to get off my bed and it took a shorter amount of time for Jacob to react to my actions.
Once I was face to face with my best friend I finally did the actions and spoke the words that killed him. killed me. And killed us.
My right hand raised and I slapped him hard across the right cheek, I knew this action wouldn't make his neck snap or make him to feel any pain, but the action itself would still be in place and I could read it in his expression that he felt it in his heart.
I didn't give him time to react to my actions before the words started pouring out of my mouth in the form of poisoness venom.
"I FUCKING HATE you Jacob! Why is it so hard to understand that you are not the one for me!? Nor will you ever be!! YES He's gone but no matter what! YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO FILL HIS SHOES. GET OUT OF MY LIFE!, I screamed, pushing every hateful word out of my system and pushing them onto him.
His reaction to my outburst was something I wasn't expecting, Looking up into his face in fury I realized that he was crying; Tears streamed down his copper skin and I saw his hands formed into tight fists at his side fighting the pain that he was experiencing. Seeing all this should have made me wrap my arms around him and apologize for all the things I had just said… but the words didn't come...
"STOP CRYING", I screamed again pushing him with everything I had, this time his body took the blow and he hit my bedroom wall. I followed him and grabbed him face with my hands so I knew he was going to have my full attention. I lifted my lips to his ear and whispered the words I wish I could have told Edward...
"You're nothing to me Jacob; I whispered softly in his ear "Nothing... But a stupid teenage boy, I whispered in his ear, "Nothing but a stupid Freak… I don't need you… I DON'T I want you in my life. I'm better off without you. I'm tired of your attempts to make me love you, when are you going to realize that I'm never going too? How could I ever love a monster…?"
I leaned away from him then and faced the opposite direction waiting for him to leave… I didn't hear his feet move to my open window and I didn't hear him climb up onto the window... the last and only thing I heard him say until he ran into the darkness and out of my life was a very simple line.
"I'm always going to be here Bella... not matter what you feel towards me; I'm always going to love you… Good bye."
And that's the last I heard from Jacob black and the first time I had a razor make contact with my skin.
End of Flashback
Yes another Cliff hanger! Ha-ha I'm sorry!! I know I'm killing you guys with this! But I needed the full effect and this chapter is already 5 pages on word and I thought it as a good stopping place for now ;) let me know what you guys think!
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