I promised myself to never write songfics, but here I am, doing just that, because there are so many songs that fit so well with the manga.
This will be a collection of oneshots with various songs, artists, themes and pairings, mostly being centered around the KxF and SxS pairings, but will include friendship fics, and.. others.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the collective mind of CLAMP, and the lyrics to Garbage.
You burned me out, but I'm back at your door
Like Joan of Arc coming back for more
I nearly died...
That day had been, in Fay's opinion, a mixed blessing. He knew he wouldn't be able to fulfill his wish, nor the wish of Sakura and the other wishes which were relying on him for completion. But at least, Fay would be getting the release for which he had waited, yet would never allow himself to actually have.
And yet, that damned obstacle of a man would not allow him any sort of peace, and would not aid in getting him one of the few things he wanted, regardless of how many times his empty threats had promised just that. The part that Fay had found the most amusing is that the man actually thought he was doing the right thing.
Fay remembered the surge of anger he felt towards the taller man the first time he woke up after being reborn. And he remembered the ache in his body- which was still present-, not from missing the eye, but missing half of his very identity. But this loss wasn't as painful for the blonde as many would have thought it to be; it was just loosing another small part of himself, and of course would never compare to loosing his other half those countless years ago, and how, even in that moment, looking at the man who with one action had saved him and cursed him for another eternity, that missing half of his heart and soul ached far more than his missing magic, eye, or even identity -which was never all that solid to begin with.
And what more could Fay do at that moment, than smile and say, "Good morning, Kurogane.", and allow himself the small satisfaction of seeing the surprise on his face, which Fay hoped was mixed with hurt or some kind of pain to reflect the agony inside the mage at that instant.
From that moment, Fay vowed to hate Kurogane, and try to hurt Kurogane in every single way he felt the ninja had done to him, however unknowingly it had been. He vowed to break him, to break his wishes and to break his life in every way he possibly could; to, for once, fulfill this need boiling in his blood- something else stolen from his identity, for even his blood was not fully his own anymore.
I came to cut you up
I came to knock you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
But of course, he could not kill the man because it would only hinder their journey at that point, and because simply killing him just wouldn't give him the satisfaction that he craved. Killing the ninja would not destroy Kurogane's world as Kurogane destroyed his – in countless ways: some of which Fay was unwilling to acknowledge even to himself. Yet Fay knew that, eventually, he would find a way to ruin Kurogane, to tear everything away from him, to make him as completely hopeless as he had felt when the ninja robbed him of the ability to even control his own death.
But even in those moments of anger in which he was ready just to take the man's own sword and pierce it right through his heart, all satisfaction be damned, he knew he wouldn't.
For the sake of Sakura, who had for so many reasons become precious to him; the only one fit to be his princess, the only one, on alarmingly many occasions, in those many worlds that he would continue living for. And he knew that it would upset her if anything happened to Kurogane, and he didn't want her to cry, or to disappoint her in any way as he had the other important people in his life. She was his only reason.
That's what he told himself, at least.
And so, Fay would never be able to do it in anything less than a figurative sense, reduced to hurting the other man with subtle coldness and quiet insults behind closed doors, and managed to satisfy himself with the way Kurogane's eyes darkened with every word coming out of his mouth.
And every time he had to restrain himself from doing more than uttering those subtle words, he thought of Sakura and how much she reminded him of the half of his soul that he would never be able to replace and whom he could not yet give up trying to save.
I came to shut you up
I came to drag you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
And break your soul apart.
Well... again, not completely satisfied; mostly because this vampire angst seems to be a recurring theme with me... short vampire angst. Oi.
And if you have a song in mind, feel free to suggest it... because I don't know all the music in the world : ) ( but I cannot guarantee that the songs will be written.. as I have a pile of songs myself)
Comments and criticisms appreciated. A lot. :D