A/N: The characters are not mine. Thanks to Arwennicole and DaBlackRose for helped me with this.
Where you belong
I wish I was back home for other reasons. I've been here before, when my grandma passed away, but that time you were by my side. Now, I can't believe I came to see you here. It's a windy day, really cold. I can smell the essence of the flowers I brought you; yellow flowers of course; I sat and touched the grave when your name, tears rolling down my face. There's so much I have to tell you;
"Hey sis," I said a loud, making sure none is around I keep talking.
"I was going to ask how you were but I think it's out of place huh!
I'm sorry I couldn't come to your funeral, I made up this excuse that I was too new at work to take a few days, you know it wasn't true…I guess everybody knew it. I talked to Jason, he tried to make me change my mind but I couldn't, really, I couldn't come and see a grave with your name on it, because I knew after that moment it'd all become true. I would have to accept that this as a reality, that you are really gone. And now here I am. I know we've been apart, our lives were keeping us away from each other, but still we made time to keep in touch.
I remember the last time I heard from you, you sent me an email the day before your accident, you wrote just a few lines, you were hurry, I knew you were dealing with a lot of things on your life, but still you took the time to write me, said you were hanging in there, having a lot of changes on your life, but still trying hard to keep our promise. You asked how I was, remembered the presentation I told you about some days before and wished me the best, said you would write back. Some part of me is holding to those words, waiting for that email, or a phone call. I guess not matter how hard I wish it it's not going to happen.
The next day I got a phone call from Jason, he said you had a car accident, he was sorry for be the one telling me this, I could feel his pain but… I yelled at him, I told him it couldn't be true, I just got an email from you yesterday; you said you would write back, you were fine, you couldn't be gone. I slammed down the phone and told my secretary to cancel my meetings, locked myself at my office, closed the door, disconnected the phones. I closed my eyes and laid on the little couch in my office. I cried myself to sleep, I used to do that when I was younger, remember that? When my parents were fighting, I just put my knees close to my chest and fell asleep; hoping to wake up and see everything was just a bad dream… That didn't work this time either.
I don't how much time I was there, when I woke up I found myself alone on my office, all lights were out, so I took home, It was dark outside, when I got home the first thing I saw was a picture of the team on my table, you were smiling as always, my machine was full of messages, Jason, Zack, even Tommy called me, I haven't heard from him since the Muranthias incident, but still he called me, they all wanted to know how I was, Jason told them how I reacted.
I called your mother first, we both started crying when we recognized each other voices, just cried without saying a word for a long time, until she asked when I would be arriving , she wanted to see me, I took a deep breath before telling her I wasn't coming. I didn't tell her why and she didn't ask it either, she knows me too well, she is like a mother to me... She said I need time to come around, and that she would be there for me when I was ready. She's been always so nice; I guess you got that from her.
I remember when we met. It was fourth grade, I was new at the school and still didn't have any friends, I used to write poems on my notebook, with all the things going on at my house it was a good way to put out all those feelings. Of course Bulk and Skull decided to make fun of me, they took my notebook and read one of my poems a loud, everyone laughed. I was so embarrassed, but then you came to me and told me you liked it, you asked if I had other poems. I hadn't done it before and I didn't understand why on that moment but I showed you my notebook, you said smiling that I should be a writer, I knew you were just trying to be nice, I knew my poems were about childish things but your words made me feel better, gave me confidence. You became my friend that day, introduced me to your other friends, I was so happy, finally I had friends! And I could talk to someone, I was so happy to find you.
The years passed and we became a strong group, no matter what, we were always there for each other, and we became best friends, sisters. So similar on some ways and so different on others but always so close, like sisters, We had a bond that nothing could break, not even the distance. Like when you left for the peace conference, I was happy for you but I some part of me didn't want you to go, even though I never admitted it. I wouldn't be able to talk to you everyday, you wouldn't fight next to me, you wouldn't be there for me, it sounds selfish I know, but it's how I felt, as always you knew something was wrong and made me talk about it, you reminded we had been through a lot together, like when we became Rangers, I told you how scared I was for being a ranger, I was surprised you admitted you were scared too, but we made a pact of do it together and be there to help the other as we always did. Nothing could go wrong if we were together. I remember the first time I saw Tommy, you were next to me and when we found out he was the evil green ranger, you told me smiling that we would help him. You always knew what to say or do.
I remember the day Rita put that spell on me and made feel jealous of you, I was so embarrassment after that, I couldn't believe the way I acted, you said only a spell could break our friendship and even like that it couldn't last long. We were sisters and nothing would change that.
I wish I would have spent more time with you when you came back, we both left our life to get on the way, I'm never going to forgive myself for that. I knew you were dealing with a lot of changes on your life and needed me, though you kept some things from me, I don't know why you didn't tell me. I guess you were trying to protect me as always. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, like you were always for me.
I can't believe you are gone, we had a lot of plans together, you had a lot of things to live for; I'm sorry you are gone, but I'm sure you are on a better and happier place now, Smiling like we promised each other, I'm sorry I couldn't keep our promise, but I will, I'll try at least, I miss you sis. I'm going to miss you everyday but I know you're still with me, like you always were.
"Sorry beautiful, but it's getting late, we promised The Kwan's to be at their home for dinner," I heard Tommy's sweet voice saying.
Tommy… he came here with me, he knew I couldn't do it alone, he stayed with me for a while without saying a word, just holding my hand, then he knew I was ready to talk and needed some time alone with you, he walked away but still he didn't go to far.
He took my hand and helped me stand up. I wiped the tears, and gave him a sheepish smile "Sorry, I lost track of the time, I had so much to tell her,"
He knows what I am feeling, he's also dealing with those feelings, and I know he is blaming himself because he couldn't protect you; Jason is doing the same thing. I have to make sure he knows how much he is helping me right now and I have to be there to help him too.
He returned the smile and took me on his arms "I know, it's ok," he said before kissing my forehead.
I squeezed his hand and sighed "I just need to tell her one more thing,"
"I'll wait for you at the car," He looked to the grave "Goodbye Trini," he said before walking to his car.
I watched him for a moment then turned around to the grave "I can feel you're smiling sis; you always wanted me to talk to Tommy. I couldn't keep the promise of smiling but I'm willing to try this one. You knew that the break up took a part of my heart, and when on that moment I thought it was the best thing and had a lot of reasons, right now I can't remember any of them. None could fill the hole Tommy left on my heart, it caused us both a lot of pain but what happened to you made me realize that maybe there's no tomorrow, we have to live our life to the fullness, and try to get happiness, even if it's for just one day.
You used to say that all the things on our life have a meaning, a reason to be, and I want to believe that this has a reason. When you came into my life I felt blessed, you were there to take care of me, teach me to trust myself and to smile again. Thanks for being there, I always saw you as Angel and now you are right Where you belong."
I started walking to Tommy's car when I felt the wind blowing, but this time it was so warm, flowers of all colors everywhere. It was beautiful, I can't help but smile, I turned around to glance at the grave one last time today…
"I'll never forget you, my Guardian Angel."