A/N: Oh god. Yes. I know. I know I really shouldn't be starting a new fic when JWIN and the epilogue to Epic Quest are calling. But plotbunnies... you know how they can be. Rabid, I tell you! Rabid! Ah well. The rating will prob go up although I'm not sure yet. Must read that guidelines thing for ratings... haha I've never actually read it. Oh well. I hope this fic is slightly humorous because obviously dark, angsty sasusakus don't suit me, not that much anyway. I'll leave that stuff to superb authors like roomfishing. And those other angsty sasusaku writers. There are so many of them now. Sorry, but I just don't seem them as an angsty couple. I mean individually obviously Sasuke is the king of angst but... I dunno. Together I seem them as being light and fluffy and happy. It's just getting there that's difficult.

Uh, right. Anywhoo, enjoy the fic.

Disclaimer: Hm, right. I'm a blonde-haired, blue-eyed teenager in america who started a world-famous ninja comic several years ago. Riiiight.

Summary[AU The private jet of diplomat Haruno Shinji, carrying his daughter and her newest bodyguard, goes down and the two are stuck in the middle of nowhere. Will the two survive the wilderness or kill each other first?

"You've gotta have a death wish or something to be taking this job! Do you have any idea how many freaks are after Haruno and his daughter!? They're like flies on shit!" Naruto ranted in between mouthfuls of instant ramen. Sasuke, Naruto's lifelong best friend (although sometimes it was more of a one-sided deal) and current roommate shrugged as he loaded his glock at the kitchen table. The lightbulb hanging on a cord from the ceiling cast an unhappy pallid glow around the kitchen. Such was the theme for the entirety of the small flat, which held worn, drab pieces of furniture that the two men acquired through either mistake or trashpicking.

"It's good money." The taller, darker man responded simply. He was not one for talk, whereas Naruto was the kind of person who seemed to have never met a word he didn't like. Naruto rolled his cerulean eyes at his taciturn friend and tossed the now empty bowl into the sink, where it clattered amongst many similarly used empty bowls. Sasuke barely acknowledged the blonde's actions as he pulled out a knife and began sharpening it, totally focused on the activity.

"You just want an excuse to be violent, bastard. If you die on the job what am I supposed to do for rent?" He half-joked, drinking milk straight out of the carton. Sasuke glanced up but didn't bother with an answer. Naruto needed to finally get a permanent job anyway. The blonde's inability to keep a job for more than two months was due to his disastrous lack of social grace and incapability to...well, not be so 'exuberant'. As it were, he usually ended up in one or two day gigs requiring beefy men with biceps bigger than their brains, which seemed to suit him just fine. Sasuke also ended up in jobs of the more physical variety, but had always keenly felt his intelligence wasting away. He'd been a top student at one of the finest prep schools in Konoha, but then...

He abruptly dropped the knife as well as his train of thought when he heard Naruto turn on the evening news. A female news anchor with brunette hair twisted into buns was recounting some event today, and Sasuke watched as a clip of his newest charge, Haruno Sakura, fuzzed into focus. She was accepting some award from her school, a fancy private all-girls academy, for science.

"Brainy, hunh. Not too bad-looking. Nothing special, I mean the pink is weird, but not horrible. She looks like a good enough kid." Naruto reasoned, scratching his stubbly chin as he studied the young girl. She was two years younger than the two men and therefore just barely legal. How typical of Naruto. Sasuke snorted.

"Of course you'd say that, idiot." He scoffed, resuming his knife-sharpening. He pushed Naruto's musings out of his mind, intent on focusing and preparing himself mentally for the long day he'd have the next day, when he finally met this Haruno Shinji, an ambassador from Konoha, and his brilliant daughter, Sakura.

--

"The flight won't be too bad. It's only three hours or so and it's not like you have to deal with other people. Just study or something."

Sakura twisted the phone cord anxiously; she'd never flown before. Normally, traveling without her father was par for the course. She had spent most of her childhood away from her father and mother, and had gotten accustomed to relying on her own wits. People may have called her spoiled and privileged in excess but Sakura was more independent than her position as a diplomat's daughter and her attitude let on.

But flying was new for her. In most cases she welcomed a new test for her self-reliance but she'd seen too many films of flight gone wrong to altogether trust planes.

"Sure, dad. I'm sure I'll be more than fine." She said softly into the receiver as she gazed out the large windows, overlooking one of her father's many estates. Because her father was forced into life-threatening situations practically by the hour, she knew it was pointless to expect comfort from him. But sometimes she wished they could just have a normal relationship, one where she still acted like a teenaged daughter. She felt more like a grown woman, and had since she was ten or so. They had long ago lost the kind of dynamic typical to father-daughter relationships and now were no more than business partners. Sakura longed to be close to someone.

"I won't be able to meet you when you get here. Your bodyguard will escort you to the embassy. See you then."

The phone clicked as her father hung up and Sakura sighed, flopping backwards onto her big bed, bouncing with the movement. Her mind drifted to the thought of her new bodyguard. She idly wondered if this one would be deranged, too. The last one had been obsessed with puppets, of all things. He'd been close to her age but they'd been worlds apart in terms of maturity. Sakura found this to be a problem with most people her age. She'd grown up too fast and had never had the chance to be a silly teenage girl, though she knew if she'd been given the chance she would've been just as idiotic as any of the rich girls at her prep school. Sadly chance had given her a big brain and a position in society that didn't allot time for such things. She wished she could meet someone her age who had missed out on childhood too.

"Haruno-san."

She shot up in bed, her heart pounding.

"Y-yes?" Her face reddened as she stammered, looking at the door. Usually people had the decency to knock! Already she didn't like whoever this asshole-

Oh god. Her jaw dropped and she snapped it shut quickly, wiping away an embarrassing bit of drool at the corner of her mouth. Was it possible for someone to be this good-looking? Was she dreaming? She had to be. What was probably the most gorgeous, drop-dead handsome man she had ever been interrupted by was currently giving her a deeply hassled and cross look. He was tall, with mussed black hair and dark eyes and a smooth complexion. It was like someone straight from a romance novel, she thought, stifling a giggle.

"Are you done staring yet? Your flight's soon." He had a deep voice, but the sexy effect was canceled out by the irritated tone of his voice. Sakura felt a prickle of anger inside. She had no patience for rude, arrogant assholes, and she hadn't spent five minutes in this man's company and already she could tell he was one of those in the worst way. Fortunately her own pride and maturity took over this time. With a carefully composed countenance, she met his coal eyes with a confidence that belied the writhing anger threatening to grow inside of her.

"You must be my bodyguard?" She asked, her pleasant tuneful voice ringing throughout the cold room.

"Obviously. Who else would I be? I was told you were smart. Let's get going." He turned on his heel and left a boiling Sakura. How dare he question her intelligence? He was the dumb brute that had gotten such a mindless, shitty job as a bodyguard.

With quickly inflating dread and fury, Sakura picked up her pink designer suitcase. This was going to be a long flight.

--

Sasuke stormed down the stairs to the foyer of the impossibly huge mansion. He'd grown up in a mansion but it still shocked him to be here. The place must have had at least fifteen bedrooms. At least. And it was no surprise that Haruno Sakura was a silly little privileged twit who, like every other girl that had ever laid eyes on him, had gazed like a deer in the headlights at him, spit dribbling down their chins. An annoying and unfortunate side effect of being the son of the late supermodel, Uchiha Mikoto. His chest tightened at the thought of his mother, but her memory was forced to the edge of his mind as he heard that irritating pink-haired girl thundering down the main staircase behind him. He turned and exhaled, trying to not lose his temper just yet. Sakura was glaring at him with startlingly green eyes that at the moment looked like pools of venom and he noted that even though she was not in school, she was still wearing her red school uniform. What a weird girl.

"Normal people have the decency to knock!" She hissed as she pushed past him and shoved her prissy suitcase at the butler. Sasuke clenched his fist around the strap of his simple duffel. This was going to be a long fucking flight.

--

And why did she even need a bodyguard for a private jet flight? Sakura huffed as she sent a sidelong hatred-filled glance at her bodyguard, who was currently slumped in his seat, looking out the window. He could probably freeze the countryside flying by with such an icy stare. Unfortunately she was also forced to acknowledge how handsome he was. Dammit. Another point for him. She hated losing.

What was his name, anyway? Probably a sexy name, to match his sexy exterior. Too bad he was nothing but a rude, self-serving asshole. He'd probably let her get shot or something and just say "oops!" Ugh! She let out a small squeal of anger and turned to look outside to try and quell her anger.

The rational side of her remembered that she'd probably be spending awhile with this man and should probably offer a proverbial olive branch to the deranged hottie. She sighed and turned back to him.

"So... you never told me your name anyway." It was meant to be cheerful but fell flat. She shifted and tugged at the seatbelt that was digging into her neck.

"Uchiha Sasuke. I already know your name so don't bother introducing yourself." He sneered and the stony expression returned to his handsome face as he turned back to the window. Sakura gawked at him. How could anyone possibly be so rude without remorse? She'd met plenty of rude assholes in her life, but never to this degree. She must've gotten accustomed to her friend Hinata's discomfited attitude. She exhaled. Well, she'd always enjoyed a challenge in a sick, twisted sort of way. The corner of her mouth lifted. She'd view this as an intellectual pursuit to pass the time.

"Hm.. That sounds familiar... OH! Any relation to that model, Uchiha Mikoto? She died like ten years ago right? I remember my friend Ino was devastated. Mikoto was like, her role model." Sakura said thoughtfully, tapping her chin. She'd seen countless pictures of the gorgeous woman taped and tacked to Ino's bedroom wall and remembered that Uchiha Mikoto was impossibly beautiful, with long, thick dark hair and an aristocratic nose to match her strong features. She glanced at Sasuke and saw that his expression was livid. What had she done now?

"Never, ever speak of her. Ever again."

Sakura's eyes widened in fear at his eyes, narrowed, and his fists clenched in anger. Muscles in his forearms and biceps that she hadn't known were that developed tightened as he leaned forward, towards her. For the first time, Sakura realized how much Sasuke resembled Mikoto, with his smooth lips and square jaw. He was classically handsome, with a trace of something exotic that Sakura couldn't pinpoint on one feature. Of course the acidic expression detracted from the overall effect.

She bit her lip and looked away. She heard the rustling of his jeans as he moved to sit back in his seat, and after a few minutes she dared to look at him. He was back to glaring at the scenery, his wiry arms folded across his chest. In that position, he strongly resembled a sulky little kid. Sakura fought back a laugh. What a strange guy.

An hour of strained silence passed by until they finally reached their destination.

"Looks like we're here."

Another nice part of having a father with a private jet and runway was avoiding waiting in long lines and trying to get a decent seat on the plane. In no time they were boarding the plane.

Sasuke, after disinterestedly checking the jet for bombs and other devices, allowed her to sit down and took his own seat at the other end, next to the window. After fussing with the overly complicated seatbelt strap, she shot him an evil glare and pulled out her biology textbook. If nothing else went well in her life, at least she'd ace that midterm.

"First time flying?" Sakura asked sympathetically when she saw Sasuke fidgeting with a pocketknife while refusing to look outside as they took off. He looked up and gave her his usual glare, which was quickly losing its effect on her. She smirked and went back to reading her textbook, although she already knew all of it.

"Oh shit... turbulence... fuck! I can't see anything!"

Muffled curses from the cockpit as well as the lights in the jet going out shook Sakura from her studying and she looked up, frozen into her seat. The jet shook and rumbled. Sakura gulped, looking out her window at the dark surroundings. Of course the first time she flew had to be the time when the jet went down. She realized with a sting that this was the end of her short and depressing life. She turned around to look back at her bodyguard who had jumped up and was making his way towards her with a parachute pack, when suddenly a lighting fixture was ripped off the ceiling by the violence of the plane's shaking and knocked him out instantly. One of Sakura's caretakers yanked off her sleeping mask in anger but paled at the darkened jet and the bleeding man on the floor.

"What the hell is going on-"

black.

--