OK so I've been sitting here for ten minutes or at least that's what the hand craved Italian clock tells me. Ha, ten minutes it feels more like ten days. He's tried to make small talk but I just sit here playing with my phone, not once responding.
So now I'm tired on the silence, so I have to say something. "I hope you know that I don't want to be here?" I ask sarcastically. "It seems like you do kiddo since you came on free will and haven't left yet." "Actually Father, it wasn't free will because I was taken from my extremely comfortable bed by my little brother. He said it would help with our family "healing"!" "Well you should listen to Patrick he's very smart."
I just roll my eyes and ignore the comment; oh goody a text. Mikey, yes!
"Fwd: Life's 2 short 2 b mean or hateful. So kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly & 4give quickly. Send 2 all da ppl u care 'bout. Hope I get 1."
"Why? Why should I even think about forgiving you?! You hurt me, you hurt all of us! I mean you're not a selfish person but that doesn't mean you didn't use to be. I mean let's face it I bet Noah found out in the last five years, if that; and given the year he had you should have told him. Let's see his sister dies, he watches his parent's marriage fall apart, he thinks his step-mom and baby sister are going to die, that his mom is gonna die but it get even better." I say before stopping as the tear roll down my face and I have to catch my breath.
"Then…then he thinks his dad is dead. He thinks that you're dead, as in never coming back. Not only is there Noah there's me too. I had leukemia and the brain tumor and then there was the shooting that left Katie and me in the ICU for days but Katie didn't make it; and yet you still couldn't just say "Summer, your mother and I have something to tell you". No you couldn't do that, that's too simple, you have to let Pat, Kris and I find out!"
" Why… why Daddy? Why couldn't you just tell me?!" I ask sobbingly. I feel him pick me up and cradle me like he use to when I was little and had a nightmare or like he still does when I'm sick. "I'm sorry I upset you princess. Back then things were different and so much easier. I never met to hurt you." I hear him say while placing a kiss at the top of my head.
"I don't want things to be this way Daddy. I want things to go back to the way they use to be. When Sam was just my best friend and Shannon wasn't my cousin and I want Grandpa back and I don't want to be so upset with you." "Summer, the only one of those things that we can change is you being upset with me. I know you miss your grandfather and I miss him too but that won't bring him back."
"But want him back Daddy. I want to tell him how I feel and for him to tell me that everything will be ok and to forgive you because we have to stay strong and we're only gonna get through this as a family. But he's not here and Sami is my sister and Shannon is my cousin. I just wanna know life has to be so hard. Why did everything have to happen like this and why… why can't I have my Grandpa back?! Why does everything good in my life always go away?!" I say before burying my face back in my papa's chest crying my eyes out.