A/N: Just a short piece of nonsense. For InSilva because...well, if I need a reason I guess because she likes short pieces of nonsense.




"Hey. You're back."

"Uh huh."

"How did the thing go with the guy?"




"Okay. What's wrong?"

"Trying to decide if you've been replaced with a robot."


"Or a clone. I suppose we could be looking at a cloning situation here."

"Right...so have I done anything in particular to get you questioning my humanity?"



"You think clones aren't human?"

"Now you're just dodging the question."

"I'm just saying, seems kinda narrow minded of you."

"And I suppose that adds weight to the 'robot' theory, right?"

"Now that you mention it..."

"Oh, for...look, this isn't Blade Runner or The Island. I'm just as human as when you left, now would you just shut up?"



" - Danny."

"Seriously, I don't know what came over me."

"Seriously, it's okay. And to answer your question, when I got back I was met with a...delegation."

"A delegation of people who think I've been replaced by a robot?"

"No, the robot was my contribution. This was a delegation of people who think you've been...irritable."


"That was Livingston's word. Linus went for tetchy. Bash said you're a moody bastard...you really don't want to know what Yen said you were."

"No. No, I probably don't."

"You know my vocabulary has expanded a lot since we met him."

"No doubt."

"Terry's learning Chinese at the moment. I keep thinking we could - "

" - oh, you just want him to get his face slapped again."

"It was very satisfying. And we could -"

" - oh, we could. So. I'm irritable."

"Tetchy. Yes."


"Apparently you told Livingston that three days wasn't good enough for the tracker."

"It isn't."

"And you switched off Basher's music in the car."

"Have you heard it?"

"And you raised your voice when you were telling the twins to be quiet."

"I lost my temper."

"Plus you made Linus cry."





"I made him cry?"

"So they tell me."

"And so they asked you to come find out if I was a replicant?"

"They asked me to find out what was wrong with you. They're worried."


"You don't lose your temper, Danny. Not unless the situation is a lot worse than the twins. And I think I would have noticed."

"You hope you would have noticed."

"You're saying I'm oblivious to danger?"

"Just good at ignoring it."

"Huh. Point is, you're not acting like yourself. Linus thinks you're sick."

"He thinks I made him cry because I'm sick?"

"He suggested a brain tumour."


"Or dementia."


"He did specify early onset. If that helps at all."

"Not so as you'd notice. He really thinks I'm...oh, that's not right."

"He was quite upset...he'd been online."

"Huh. Do you get hypochondria by proxy?"

"Linus can probably check online."

"Yeah. Think we should remove his internet privileges."

"You'll make him cry again."

"I really made him cry?"

"He's fine."



"I'm not sick."

"I know. You think I'd come in here talking about robots if I thought you were sick?"



"I'm not a robot either."

"Uh huh. How long has your tooth been hurting?"


"Really, Danny?"

"Few days. A week, I guess. I was going to do something about it."

"Of course you were."

"It'll go away on its own."

"Mmm. How's that plan working out for you?"

"It went away on its own last time."

"Last time, huh?"


"Here. Take these. Drink this."


"Guess you haven't been sleeping."

"Hurts too much."


"I'm not scared of the dentist. I just don't want to go."

Do I look like I'm giving you a choice?"

"You look like you're bullying me."

"...I wouldn't call it bullying."

"I doubt any bully would."

"What, are you planning on telling me for dragging you to the dentist?"

"If I thought I could get away with it...it really did go away on its own before, Rus'."

"And then came back."


"I'm amazed Tess let you get away without going to the dentist the last time."

"It was while she was away for a few days."





"Just wondering if your toothache is psychosomatic."

"Did Isabel get you a word-a-day calendar or something?"

"Maybe you just don't like sleeping alone."

"If I say that's it, I don't have to go to the dentist, right?"

"Oh, you're going to the dentist. Soon as those painkillers start working, I'll make some phone calls. Find someone who can see you this afternoon."

"If the pills make the pain go away then why would I need to see the dentist?"

"You know, the last time I tried that argument - "

" - I remember."

"I think Linus has a point. You're tetchy."

"Irritable. My tooth hurts."

"C'mere. Lie down."



"I made Linus cry."

"He'll forgive you. Close your eyes."

"I should apologise."

"That'll really worry him."


"Are the painkillers starting to kick in?"

"No. But somehow I'm feeling better."



"You drool on my pants - "

" - it'll help hide the pattern."

"Tetchy bastard."

"Bully. Don't move."

"Sleep well."