Ironhide's Dilemma

Based on the fact that people seem to enjoy my silly little stories, I think I'll make an Ironhide Dilemma for my twisted enjoyment. What if Ironhide is caught doing something something no one would expect the battle-hardened to enjoy?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Transformers ™. So you can't sue me, haha! I think I own Sophie, but she's actually sort-of my muse. And she totally loves medics. ;)


Sam and Bee were driving along the twisting road up to the overhang where the autobots usually hung out. The day was quite lovely for it to be the middle of the summer; the sky was clear and cloudless and the temperature was warm, not hot. Sam stuck his hand out of the window, watching it rise and fall.

"Today's a gorgeous day, Bee…," Sam murmured, sighing softly.

Bee revved his engine in agreement and sped up slightly. As they followed the dirt path up to their 'secret' area, Sam was startled slightly by the outline of one of his robotic friends; Ironhide.

Ironhide was sitting with his legs crossed, gazing across the landscape. He seemed to be talking to himself. However, when he saw them, he jumped slightly and stopped whatever it was that he was doing. Sam and Bee pulled up beside him. Sam greeted Ironhide while Bee's yellow frame transformed into his robotic form. Sophie was sitting on Ironhide's knee, seemingly jotting something down on a scrap sheet of paper. As soon as she saw her two friends, she stuffed the paper into her pocket and stammered out a nervous hello.

"How are you guys?" asked Sam, stepping into Bee's hand.

"F-fine," Sophie said, averting her gaze.

Ironhide merely nodded his head and kept fidgeting. Sam almost had to pry the words from Sophie and Ironhide to continue the conversation. Nearly two hours of tense conversation passed before Sophie excused herself.

"I've got to go home, okay? Toodles!" she said cheerily, waving at them.

"Where's Ratchet? Shouldn't he be giving you a ride home?" Sam asked politely, noting that the medic was missing. Usually you couldn't separate the two…

"Err…he isn't here today…I'm walking home, I need the excerise," she said, forcing a smile and pinching the flab on her stomach.

"But it's a ten mile walk?" Sam said, frowning at her retreating form. Bee shrugged his shoulders, a blank look on his face.

Bee and Sam were puzzled by Sophie's actions, but didn't say anything. Ironhide's usually suave voice was a bit rattled-sounding as he said, "I must go. Captain Lennox is expecting me in an hour. Goodbye." With that, he was transformed and halfway down the road.

This type of behavior continued on for several weeks. Whenever Sam and Bee would visit the overhang, Sophie and Ironhide would usually be sitting together. Sophie would always be sitting on Ironhide's knee, deep in discussion with the robot. Ironhide seemed to be talking, and when he would see Bee and Sam, he would grow flustered and leave. Finally, Sam and Bee grew so suspicious, they voiced their concerns to Ratchet.

Ratchet seemed hurt that Sophie would be spending all of her free time with Ironhide, so he decided to go see "what was up", as humans put it. Bee and Sam decided that getting involved wouldn't be a good idea, so they went to a drive in movie instead. Needless to say, it was a welcome distraction when Sam discovered that holograms could feel touch…

Ratchet pulled up into the dark clearing where Ironhide and Sophie were, as usual, sitting together. So she prefers that idiot over me, Ratchet thought, sighing softly. He felt his heart –if you could call it that – break into several large pieces and lots of little ones when he saw Sophie laugh at something Ironhide said. Sophie jumped as she saw her friend transform, a hurt look on his normally placid features. Her reaction says that she is nervous. Nervous is usually used to describe being caught doing something that shouldn't be done, or something akin to guilt, thought Ratchet as he scanned the world wide web. Now what would Sophie be guilty of?

"Er…Hi?...How're you doing?," she asked, biting her lower lip nervously.

Ratchet said quietly, "I heard you two were spending time together here." He watched the dark orange sun hanging low in the sky.

"Yes, we are spending time together," Sophie said, her eyebrows bunching together slightly. She wondered if he suspected anything. If he found out…

"It is a private matter, so if you would please excuse us?" Ironhide growled, giving the other autobot a pointed look.

"If you wish to be alone, I shall comply," Ratchet said simply, and transformed. With that, he was gone. Sophie then realized what the situation implied: The both of them together, alone, watching the sunset.

"Oh poo," she said, slapping her forehead.

"What is it, Sophie?" asked Ironhide.

"I think Ratchet has the wrong idea of what we've been doing up here…" she said quietly. At his confused look, she continued on, "Alone? In the dark?" His eyes suddenly flashed understanding.

"I think you better find him, before he makes a mistake."

"How? I can't just reveal this to him…you said not to!" Sophie said, starting to despair.
"It's not worth seeing my friend hurt like this because he thinks I stole his human."


"What we've been doing isn't wrong, Sophie. You should explain it to him before he is crushed."

Ironhide transformed and Sophie climbed into the cab of his truck. They broke the speed limit exactly eight times before they finally caught up with Ratchet. He was sitting by himself at the edge of a lake. His ice-blue optics narrowed slightly when he saw Sophie get out of Ironhide's cab.

"Can we talk?" she asked quietly, sitting beside him. Ratchet grunted, seemingly agreeing. He still refused to make eye contact with her. It started getting dark and fireflies started flashing their little lights around the lake. Sophie was momentarily distracted by them, and snapped back on track.

"It's not really what you think, about Ironhide and I. We're only talking about his problems and things and everyone who's seen us seems to think that-"


"-we're going something bad, and we're not. We're totally just friends and I like being there for my friends and – "

"Sophie- "

"- I don't want to hurt you, I really don't, but there's things I can't say right now, because Ironhide would kill me, and I don't want to be smushed – "


"Eep! What?" she said, falling over at Ratchet's sudden outburst.

"I won't say anything about you wanting to be with Ironhide. I understand if you do not wish to be with me. I will leave, if you wish," Ratchet, said quietly.

"You stupid robot-"

"EXCUSE ME?" he almost roared, incredulous of her insult.

"You think I'd rather be with that oaf than with you?"

"Huh?" he said, momentarily shocked out of his circuits.

She embraced him – or as well as she could, being a sixth of his height – and smiled serenely up at him as she said –

"I'm only teaching him how to write poetry, silly."