The Exorcism Displacement

Disclaimer: I wish I was as talented at writing (and drawing, too) as the two ladies who created these series. I also wish I was as rich as the one who doesn't draw.

Why is my story different from the other four or so Harry Potter crossovers out there? Well, here's why:

No Earl. No action. No being-sent-on-a-mission-to-Hogwarts crap. In fact, this is really just the D.Gray-Man characters in the Harry Potter universe. None of the characters play a major role in their lives, unlike in other ones.

I was about to set this in the fifth year, as the result of hating the sixth book with a passion, but I couldn't miss the references to Inferi – I wasn't going to have akuma in this originally, but it was too good to pass up. Also, this means I get to screw around with the romance.

…but I digress. Now, without further ado:

Scroll 1: Allen Is A Brat (or, Why Are Chapter Titles Entitled "Scrolls"?)

The Chief Monitor of the Black Order peered over the top of his eyeglasses at the pair of teenagers standing in front of him, as he so often did before every mission and at the beginning of every fanfiction involving a mission.

"Now, this is only a rumour," he said slowly, absently rustling some papers on his desk, "and the Finders haven't been able to find an akuma or evidence of Innocence…"

"Then why are you sending us?" That voice belonged to Allen Walker, the youngest Exorcist in the order and also one of the most boring, as he had no strange personality quirks that didn't involve inanimate objects (assuming any food is, of course, dead before he eats it).

"…well, they can't determine what the cause is, either. So we've decided to send you two: one who can find akuma, and one who is intelligent enough to determine the cause."

"Thank you, nii-san." The girl standing next to Allen turned pink; she was Lenalee Lee, the spectacled-man's assistant and younger sister.

"It is comforting to think that the Lee family members are of that sort," Komui murmured, giving Allen a look that clearly said not until you have 50 more IQ points. Allen returned the look with one that told him I'm still better than Kanda.

Komui couldn't argue with that one.

"…So anyway, since Lavi couldn't figure it out-"

"What, he's already there?" Allen interrupted. Lavi was the apprentice to the mysterious old man known as Bookman; he recorded events in history, and would be the first to know if any such event had happened before.

"He arrived last week," Komui explained, "and delivered his conclusion yesterday, through a communication golem."

Lenalee scanned through the thick black folder that she had been given upon entering the room; it contained information on the situation that she was to examine. "If Lavi took a week to determine that he needed assistance – where will we all be staying?" she asked. "London is too far away from the Order to travel back and forth every day."

"You'll be staying in the closest Catholic church," he told them. "They're not very common, but Lavi says that one is located in the area of these mysterious unexplained events."

"And…" Lenalee took a quick look at the contents of the folder again and gave her brother a puzzled glance. "What exactly are these mysterious unexplained events?"

"Well…" Komui looked sheepish. "To be honest, we don't really know. Lavi confirmed that they are mysterious and unexplained, but he didn't give a description of them in his report."

"I see…" She clearly didn't, but such a phrase was not made to be honest.

"And we're leaving tonight?" Allen muttered despairingly. "Will I have time to eat dinner first?"

Thankfully, at least one thing was consistent these days: Allen's appetite. "Yes."

"How about breakfast, lunch, and dinner tomorrow?"



"Come on, Allen-kun", Lenalee murmured, grabbing his arm and giving her brother a reassuring smile. "It'll take all night to get to London… you need to eat quickly."

As his sister and the younger boy departed, Komui couldn't help but give them a sad look. He had a strange feeling about this mission… and if his strange and unexplained thoughts about the events to come were correct, he wouldn't see them for a long time…

As Lenalee and Allen stepped onto the paved surface of the London streets from the riverboat the next morning, they were greeted by two very consistent things: Lavi's bright and mischievous grin, and the miserable English weather. Despite the grey sky with the constant threat of rain, Lavi was even more cheerful than normal; most likely, it was because the red-haired Exorcist had been without the company of his friends recently and was more than happy to be reunited with them.

"Allen! Lenalee! There you are – come on, I've got a carriage here; we're going to the middle of the city…" Still smiling, he led them to a carriage and nodded to the driver. "Where we came from, sir – the Church - I don't suppose Komui told you anything about the events?" he said without pause, turning to face the other two. "Not that I said anything; they're so unusual…"

"We've heard," Allen said flatly. "Not just unusual, mind, but also mysterious and unexplained, and once even undetermined."

"Undoubtedly," Lavi responded, having missed the sarcasm. "There really isn't a pattern at all, though. There haven't been any unexplained deaths recently, so it doesn't really sound as if akuma are involved. I thought it was Innocence, but it would have to be capable of movement, as the events are all occurring within a three-kilometre radius of the church."

"It's odd that akuma wouldn't be involved if Innocence was, though," Lenalee said thoughtfully.

"That's what I thought, but unless you can think of any other explanation for random events…" Lavi trailed off with a careful look at the other two.

"What about magic?"

Lavi turned to Allen and gave him a you don't really believe in that at your age, do you look. The younger boy squirmed uncomfortably under that one-eyed gaze.

"Well… it's possible, isn't it," he muttered. "Even if it's unlikely… really unlikely… okay, so maybe it doesn't exist, but-"

"No, I think Allen-kun might have a point," Lenalee murmured, sending a sharp glare to Lavi. "It's unusual enough that we even have such things as akuma and Innocence, after all; I wouldn't be surprised if magic really was the cause of this."

"…which would mean we can't do a thing, as it's magic." Lavi rolled his single green eye. "Come on, I've been researching the history of the world for years, now, and that panda-jijii hasn't said a thing about its existence. Akuma have a rational explanation for their existence-"

"But not their animation," Lenalee pointed out.

"-and it's much more likely that this is the work of a Noah," the Bookman finished, looking satisfied as he leaned back, arms folded. "Don't you agree?"

As they climbed out of the carriage upon their arrival at the church mere moments later, Allen scowled and muttered,

"I still think it's magic."

The priest who greeted them was a timid-looking, pale-haired man just short of his middle years whose dark blue eyes constantly darted around nervously as he wrung his hands. His black clothes not only contrasted with his pale colouring, they also hung loosely on his bony frame.

"S-such a pleasure to see more Exorcists arrive," he said quickly, his voice having the quality of a flattering courtier to royalty rather than a spiritual advisor to younger children. "You must understand, these events are…"

"Strange, mysterious, unexplained, we know," Allen and Lenalee said together in a bored tone.

"Ah, then you have some news of them?" He stopped the motion of his hands temporarily to produce a handkerchief from a pocket and wipe his damp forehead; apparently, he had broken into a nervous sweat at the thought of the mystery. "Well then. Ah. Um. This is certainly…"

The Exorcists exchanged glances that simultaneously said how is this man still functioning?

"T-then, if you please…" His dark gaze flitted to a tall stone building across the street, then down to his hands and finally to Lavi, the only familiar face at the time. "While you were gone, Exorcist-sama, I received news of strange noises and a disappearing figure on the fourth floor of that apartment. The old lady believes she saw a young woman walking down the stairs and suddenly vanishing, and there was a loud crack…" The handkerchief dabbed at his face again. "And that table still has not been found yet."

"Those are strange events," Lenalee said quietly.


Allen leaned over to Lenalee and whispered in her ear, "It can't be a Noah. Even Road needs a doorway to move from place to place, right? And we haven't heard of one that can become invisible, and why would one do so after being seen…"

"I don't know," she murmured in response, "and it doesn't sound sinister, either."

"Maybe she wanted the old lady to have a heart attack and die from shock?"

"And what of the noises and table that the priest spoke of?"

"Ah, excuse me…" The priest raised his voice slightly, although it tended to make him look even more nervous and worried than usual. "I can take your bags to the rooms, so if you wouldn't mind responding to the reports…?"

"Thank you," Lenalee told the priest, turning away from Allen. "That would be very nice – Allen-kun, Lavi, maybe we should go now?" She gave them a look that strongly suggested we shouldn't scare him any more than absolutely necessary. The two nodded and set off down the street without looking at the older man.

As soon as they had reached the building, the priest gave a long sigh and went to pick up the luggage. "Thank god they left so soon… Those Exorcists, with their powers of God – they're kind of scary."

Evidently, the residents of the aforementioned apartment building did not think so. Upon arriving at the door of the old lady who had reported the incident, she gave the three a long, slow, appraising look, and finally turned her nose up in an unmistakable sniff.

"I see a lady disappear, and they send children to investigate?" she asked in a wheezy tone. "Poor Miss Black… if she had been kidnapped, just think of it, all the awful things that could be happening to her-"

"We're terribly sorry," Lenalee tried to tell her. "Our age isn't important – we've been trained for this kind of thing-"

"Wait," Lavi interrupted her. "This woman has a name?"

The old lady sniffed again, and straightened fogged spectacles with one gnarled finger. "Yes, it was Miss Emily Black," she said haughtily. "The young lady up in room 404 – quiet young thing, always avoiding company – I suppose she just needs a nice man to straighten her out, a bit old to be unmarried…"

The trio left the old woman to speak to herself for the time being and walked up the stairs to the apartment occupied by the mysterious woman. The door was closed, but the three Exorcists could clearly hear the sound of a female voice, humming some made-up tune. Exchanging a glance, they knocked on the door.

"Pardon me – I'll be right there," called a voice. Within moments, the door opened to reveal a tall, pale woman of around the age of thirty with long, curled auburn hair. Her plain yellow dress was covered by an apron, and the smell of cooking soup wafted from inside the apartment. "May I help you."

"Yes, we were wondering…" Lenalee trailed off under the woman's stern look.

"Children should not be meddling in the affairs of adults," the woman said stiffly. Apparently, her polite tone was reserved only for those she deemed worthy of respect, and anyone below the age of twenty could not be one of those individuals. "Now, if you please." She made a motion to shut the door, but Lavi stopped her, stepping forward to hold his hand against the door. Her lips thinned as indignant ire blossomed in her dark eyes.

"How did you know that we were asking about your affairs?" he said softly into her ear. She did not respond, but stepped away from him, her hand reaching behind her as if to grab something.

"Excuse me," Allen said quietly from behind Lavi, "but would you be Miss Black?"

"I am." She looked distastefully at Allen; his hair could not hide a face that looked younger than its fifteen years.

"We've heard from one of your neighbours downstairs that you disappeared," he continued. "And there were reports of strange sounds and…" He glanced at Lenalee for reassurance. "…a missing table?"

"Rumours," the older woman said quickly, giving Lavi another sharp look; he had removed his hand and moved closer to her, a smirk on his face. Was he making her uncomfortable on purpose? "That old woman makes such things up; she really does have too much time on her hands. As for the sounds, well." She nodded towards the kitchen. "I must practice my cooking some more."

"So those sounds were coming from this apartment after all," Lenalee murmured to Allen. "The reports were so vague, we could only assume…"

"If they really were cooking, then it isn't suspicious at all," he responded in the same low tone. "But to have come from here…"

"You don't believe her?" Allen looked back at Lenalee, bewildered at her bluntness in asking.

"Well – it's not that, exactly, but-"

"Would you mind not speaking such slander about a lady," Miss Black said icily, from the doorway. The two teenagers spun around to face her, guilty looks on their faces as they hastily attempted apologies. Lavi attempted to suppress a chuckle, and failed miserably.

"…but I'm still not convinced," Allen said finally. "This may not be the work of an akuma, but it's something mysterious… we're just going to have to find out."

Lenalee nodded. "If you'll excuse us – may we investigate, Miss Black?" She gave a slight bow of politeness, then glanced at Lavi, who had managed to find his way into the entrance hall by invading the woman's personal space. Allen was about to follow her when he noticed that the apartment's occupant was now behind him, and muttering to herself.

"That old lady – she's too nosy, I'll have to find a way to dispose of her…"

It was definitely something he wasn't intended to overhear, but her carelessness was certainly worrisome.

"Ah… Miss…" He stepped back to allow her to pass through the door ahead of him. "After you?"

"Such a gentleman," she murmured, although in an icy tone. "No, please go ahead – I'll be there in a moment."

"Sure," he said, but she was already setting off down the stairs.

Inside the apartment, Lenalee and Lavi were attempting to look around for anything suspicious while touching as little as possible and making no mess – the latter, very unsuccessfully. At Allen's arrival, Lenalee glanced up and smiled reassuringly upon seeing his nervous look.

"Is she coming?" she asked.

"Yeah, but – I get the feeling that something isn't right," Allen confessed. "She changed attitudes so often; she doesn't seem to like children, but why would she let us in here without protest?"

"You didn't see her looking at our uniforms," Lavi pointed out. "Plenty of people know what they mean – she isn't going to argue with Exorcists from the Black Order."

"And it's not just that; she was talking to herself in the hall," the white-haired boy continued. "About that elderly lady we were talking to earlier – saying she needed to be disposed of."

Lenalee shivered. "That doesn't sound very… comforting."

"At least we know we've got the right person," Lavi pointed out.

"For suspicion of strange activity, or for hitting on," Allen said sarcastically. Lavi glared at him, then muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like brat. As the younger boy was about to pick up a nearby cushion – pale green, and smelling oddly of cats – Lenalee halted in her movements.

"I think she's coming back," she said softly. The two male Exorcists quickly returned to an unobtrusive searching position, and, moments later, the door opened.

"Found anything?" Miss Black said acidly. Lenalee shook her head.

"There doesn't seem to be anything odd," she said politely. "Have you noticed anything strange recently in your home?"

"Certainly not – else I would have reported it myself, wouldn't I?"

"She's starting to scare me," Allen whispered under his breath to Lavi, who promptly kicked him in the knee, causing Allen to wince. The older woman turned a cool stare to the boy and narrowed her eyes, then seemed to remember something and stepped away calmly.

"Search on," she told them, turning to a door with a strange look on her face. "I'll… return in a moment, must fetch something."

As soon as she departed, Allen turned to face Lenalee, hissing, "Did you see that? Her smile was absolutely sinister!"

"I don't deny it," Lenalee told him. "It did look… odd."

"You two just have your minds made up already," Lavi muttered. "She's not as young as you two, and she's living on her own – of course she's going to be a little suspicious, but that doesn't mean she's evil."

"Well- ow!" Lenalee had gone to search under another cushion, mustard yellow this time, and had suddenly withdrawn her hand. The other two Exorcists rushed over to check it – it was bleeding. As she pulled out a handkerchief and wrapped it around the wound, a long, shallow slash across her knuckles, she looked thoughtfully at the cushion.

"There's something behind there," she finished.

"Of course," Lavi said, "otherwise you wouldn't have that wound."

"No, I mean – there's something – an animal, I think." Carefully, she reached for the cushion with her unwounded hand, touching only the front. "It's behind it – aha!"

Lenalee pulled away the cushion triumphantly and the cause of her wound was revealed, causing the trio to gasp in shock.

It was a giant, hairy, black spider.

Lenalee jumped back, barely suppressing a shriek; Allen's eyes were wide and he looked terrified. Lavi was not as strongly affected, but even he was surprised; that spider was the size of a teacup, and that wasn't including its legs!

The three remained staring cautiously at the spider until Miss Black, now without the apron, came back through the door, carrying what appeared to be a long, thin wooden rod. With a bored glance at the creature, then a distasteful glance at the blood dripping from Lenalee's hand to the floor, she sniffed.

"Foolish children, you could have hurt dear David," she cooed, scooping the spider into the crook of her arm and giving a sharp look to the Exorcists. "Removing his cover like that."

"You named that thing?" Allen asked incredulously.

"It's a pet?" Lenalee gasped.

"Spiders aren't supposed to grow that large!" Lavi said, in an unquestioning tone.

"Well…" Miss Black stroked the creature's back gently; it flipped over and emitted what sounded suspiciously like a purr. "I may have used an Engorgement Charm on him, but it wasn't that strong." She sounded slightly flattered. "He is such a good pet, too."

The younger Exorcists seemed to be in complete shock, but Lavi had definitely been listening. "Engorgement Charm? What-"

"Oh, silly me, I shouldn't have used such a term," the auburn-haired woman muttered with a sly smile that told him that whatever she shouldn't have said was very intentionally used. "Now I'll have to fix this mistake."

Lavi gave the others a quick glance; maybe Allen hadn't been such a brat for being so suspicious after all…

"A Memory Charm?" She seemed to be talking to herself. The Bookman apprentice quietly nudged the others, trying to get their attention; finally, they seemed to snap out of it and quickly turned their attention back to him. "No, they'll just be told to return here, they are from the Order, after all…" Lavi motioned to the woman, then to the door, trying to convey that they should leave while she was distracted. They seemed to get the message. "The killing curse?" Everyone flinched at that, but quietly made their way to the door. "But then I'll have to dispose of the bodies – oh, it's no use trying to leave," she told them as they reached the door. "I've locked it."

Lenalee turned around, looking slightly panicked after hearing the talk of "killing". "Well – we've done looking; nothing suspicious here-"

"Right," Allen rushed to continue. "Perfectly normal place, it must have just been a… a dream or something, you know old women-"

"So if you don't mind, we'll just be going," Lavi finished.

"Oh no. No, I don't think that's possible." She was giving them a smile that clearly said I have nasty things in store for you. "You've seen and heard a bit too much for that."

"We'll forget everything," Lavi assured her quickly. "Nothing out of the ordinary – no spiders."

Miss Black frowned. "I wasn't referring to David. Aha!" She snapped her long fingers; apparently, David had been set down while they were sneaking away. "There is that spell that I've always wanted to try… the Ministry certainly wouldn't let me if they knew about it, but it will get rid of you and leave no evidence behind… perfect."

The Exorcists exchanged nervous glances. "G-get rid of us?" Allen asked. "We won't come back if t-that's what you want; n-nothing odd here, remember?" The others nodded, but the woman didn't appear convinced.

"You won't be coming back here anyway," she murmured, "at least, not to this apartment."

"You're not going to kill us!" Lenalee cried.

"Oh heavens no, that would be such an inconvenience… no, I do believe I will simply ensure your lack of meddling. Bad enough that Muggles have found out about this – can't have anyone running off and telling the Ministry about such behaviour, now, can I…" She raised the strange wooden stick and smiled nastily. "Enjoy what remains of your life."

It was immediately obvious that despite the strange words and movements of the innocuous-looking stick, this was not a joke. Allen only had time to grab Lenalee's wrist before the world began to spin and all that he could hear was Miss Black's laughter-

-and then he felt an explosive pain in his forehead and the feeling of his face hitting stone.

Allen sat up quickly, wiping away the blood trickling down his face and nudged the semi-conscious body of Lenalee with his free hand. She stirred, and finally her violet eyes opened fully and focused on him.

"Allen-kun?" she murmured dazedly. He pulled her up to sit next to him and nodded silently. "Oh good," she continued, nearly falling over onto him. "Sorry about this – it's just – I – don't know, but – I can't seem to…" He nodded again and placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her steady; she smiled gratefully. "What about Lavi?"

"He's…" Allen glanced over her shoulder to the third member of their party. "Over there."


Lavi was currently making a sound that reminded Allen of a wounded dog in need of attention – the dog, that is, not Lavi.


"…'s good. Oh!" She blinked furiously, finally gaining some sense of balance, and reached up to touch Allen's forehead. "You're bleeding!"

"Am I?" In his concern for Lenalee he'd completely forgotten the pain. "Ow! It hurts…"

"Yeah, let me see…" She brushed away his (nonexistent) bangs and took a look at the wound. "Your pentacle's bleeding."

"It's not a thing," he said sourly. "It's a scar."

"Close enough… oh, it looks like you've got a stone or something lodged in there-" Allen had no time to react before her fingernails were wedged into his skin for the briefest of moments. When she withdrew her hand, covered in blood and clutching what seemed to be a tiny pebble, he suddenly felt faint.

"That… hurts. A lot."

"Allen-kun, you've had worse," she told him reproachfully. "And you're upset about a stone?"

"Well, I'm not experiencing the pain of having an eye taken out or a wound in my heart right now, right?!" Well, maybe the second – Lenalee's look wasn't exactly heartwarming at that moment; in fact, it didn't look like she was very pleased with him.

"No, but – I completely forgot about that!" she cried. "You did have a hole in your heart, didn't you?! And you're still on these missions and everything, putting yourself in more danger, and you were so lucky to survive-"

Shit, he thought. And now she's crying because of me… That definitely hurt. Hesitantly, he shifted his hand from her shoulder to her back and gently patted it. "Um, it's okay… I'm fine now, right? It doesn't even really hurt anymore…"

Lavi gave a loud cough. "If you two are done with your moment now…"

"What?" As the older Exorcist nodded to the careful placements of his hands (Lenalee's back, and – how had that other one gotten into her hand? That was certainly a mystery!), Allen pulled back slightly, face quickly growing a dark red. "Okay, right – Lenalee, it's okay, you don't need to cry – what is it, Lavi?"

"In case you haven't noticed," Lavi said, now grinning widely at the two, "we're not in an apartment anymore."

They weren't, Allen realized as he looked around them. In fact, they were sitting on a stone walkway that led to a decorated fountain, and then to a tall, white stone building set a distance away from other buildings, which surrounded the Exorcists. Lenalee was currently facing the street, which held other mysteries.

"Allen-kun" she said quietly, her tears drying but violet eyes set in a look of shock, "what's that?"