just like
"Fun With Dick and Jane"
except Dick has a different name or something...
i should go watch the movie before i use a form of it's title...
i wrote this because everytime i heard the song i thought of jane
-yay jane!-
i realize that i am rather strange and i am slowly accepting that fact;
now, let's get started...

Fun With Felix and Jane

Jane was sitting in the library when she heard it. Several speakers in the great hall were blasting drumbeats on full volume. It wasn't enough to hurt her highly sensitive ears but it was way too loud to keep her focused. She set down her book and wandered into the hall to see what the noise was about.

As she neared the entrance she could hear someone tap a microphone. She automatically thought the worse.

Not karaoke again!

She shivered with the memories of the last time Aro made her sing. She hesitated slightly before she opened the door and walked inside.

All of the lights shut off immediately. A spotlight came out of nowhere and centered itself on the two figures in the middle of room. On closer inspection she recognized Gianna in the arms of Felix.

A song started playing on the speakers and Felix picked up the microphone. A strum of a guitar sounded before a thump thump thump thump tuh ta of a drum blasted. Felix looked at the confused Jane and smiled.

I hold on so nervously
To me and my drink
I wish it was cooling me

Jane laughed slightly at the use of Gianna as a prop in what seemed like a practical joke. She looked around to see who else was watching but couldn't see anyone.

But so far, has not been good
It's been shitty
And I feel awkward, as I should

Shitty? Jane thought. She had always been Aro's favorite so she didn't know what it was like to be one of the regulars. Was this supposed to be a personal blow to her?

This club has got to be
The most pretentious thing
Since I thought you and me

Were the Volturri members of a club? It seems to be more like a cult… Jane thought. She pondered the difference between clubs and cults before something struck a nerve.

Since I thought you and me

She stared at him. Was he coming onto her? Felix was known as somewhat of a playboy but had never made a move on Jane…

Well I am imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place

Is he serious? Jane stared at him in horror. From her left she heard a chuckle. Her head whipped to the sound in time to see a dim silhouette retreat into the shadows. She turned back to Felix with anger in her eyes. This was all a big joke on her and she did not like to be laughed at. She focused all of her energy onto him and he fell to the ground.

She smirked as she watched him coil in pain. This should teach them to mess with me she thought with finality. She turned to leave but was surprised when Felix spat out more lyrics.

Well I'm not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you're standing still

She was confused. Not only was he not screaming in agony, but he somehow managed to form words. Rather than sit and be impressed Jane turned back to him and released all of her energy.

If your body matches
What your eyes can do

He started to choke on the words. His body curled inward with pain. Jane couldn't understand why he wouldn't quit. "Just give up!" someone shouted from the corner of the room. Is this a game? Jane thought. They're using me as a way to amuse themselves? I am Aro's favorite she thought with confidence. When they're betting against me they're betting against him. Jane turned back to Felix and tried even harder now to make him give up.

You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you!!

He screamed the last words in agony. They were barely recognizable but they were there. When he finished he collapsed on the ground. Jane broke her concentration when she heard claps from the left side of the room.

"And you said he wouldn't do it," Aro smirked at Marcus as he stepped out of the shadows. Marcus walked over to the fallen vampire and started to nudge him with his foot.

"He didn't make it through the whole song, I say it's no good," Marcus stated as he kept nudging Felix with his foot. "Jane, you really did a number on him, didn't you?"

"He made it through the chorus and that was the deal," Aro said with finality. "You owe me a car."

Marcus sighed in defeat and reached into his pocket. He tossed his keys to a grinning Aro. "I will get it back."

Aro smiled wider. "How long do you think Demetri will last singing 'Dude Looks like a Lady' to Caius?" he wondered out loud.

"Second verse," Marcus bet.

"You think?" Aro countered. "I don't think he'd react that fast, he might not understand what was going on. If we bribe Demetri enough…" His voice faded away as the two left the great hall leaving a dumbstruck Jane alone with a broken Felix.

† Did you like it? †
when you don't review i automatically think you don't like it
(thanks to the hit counter i can now tell how many people didn't like it enough to review...)

♥ This story is dedicated to BellyGnomes and Marisol
for some reason they still talk to me...

the song-
Paralyzer by Finger Eleven
(the video is on my site, i encourage you to watch it)

and as always...

disclaimer- Twilight © and all of its contents are owned by † Stephenie Meyer † and not me.