I want to thank EvilDux for giving me the idea for an Azumanga/Mystery Dungeon crossover fic. She actually asked that I do it, so here it goes. Okay... Yeah. Okay.
DISCLAIMER: I own neither Pokemon or Azumanga Daioh. Want a pretzel, though?
Chapter One: Early Bird
"Hello? Uh, wake up, please..."
Osaka's eyes rolled open slowly, one at a time, before she turned over and spotted the little Pichu standing right in front of her.
"You're awake!" shouted the Pokemon. "I thought you'd never wake up..."
"You're cute..." said Osaka drowsily. "I wanna keep you... As a pet... or somethin'..."
The Pichu's expression was easily described as shocked as it backed off, but then slowly regained its senses as it came back to Osaka. "T-That'd be like cannibalism," it stated. Obviously it was talking about keeping it as a pet.
"Really?" asked Osaka.
"Uh, yes," the Pichu said, "because you're a Pokemon too..."
Osaka noticed she was standing on all fours. "So I am," she said, not sounding a bit freaked out. "But you know about slavery, right? You know, how people buy other people and make em work? And if they don't do their jobs right, the owners are all like, 'Yew lazy gewd-fer-nuthins! Git ter werk or e'll flog yeh, yesh ah will,' right? Can I buy you?"
Pichu took another step back. "N-no," it stuttered. "No."
"Aw," said Osaka. "What kind of Pokemon am I?"
A third step back. "A Slowpoke..." said Pichu slowly.
"So I hafta stick my tail in the river until something bites it?" Osaka wondered.
"Who are you?" asked Pichu, deciding to change the subject.
"Ayumu Kasuga... I think," she added after a moment's hesitation. "I mean, my dreams, they call me Dr. Chicken sometimes. That's only natural, seeing as I'm dressed in a giant chicken suit in those dreams."
Pichu stood still. "Where are you from?!" it demanded, suddenly frantic.
"Well, in elementary school we lived in Kobe..."
"You're from Osaka, aren't you?!" shouted the Pokemon.
"Well, that's where I live right now, but you really shouldn't interupt..."
"Osaka-san!" shouted the Pichu, suddenly hugging her for some reason. It then backed off, realizing how that just looked.
"You're weird," said Osaka.
"No, I'm Chiyo," said Pichu, deadly serious.
"What a coincidence," she said. "Because I have a friend named Chiyo and..."
"No, Osaka-san, it's me, Chiyo," said Chiyo.
"Chiyo?" asked Osaka. A nod.
Osaka hugged her, shouting random phrases, which didn't nessesarily follow the lines of "I missed you!" "Sata andagi!" or "Shisaa-yaabin!" were more accurate.
Their reunion didn't last long, a Butterfree appeared, crying. "Oh, my baby," she said.
"What is it?" asked Chiyo, stepping forward.
"Oh, little brat, it's terrible!" shouted the Butterfree. Chiyo winced at the word "brat". "My poor child has been lost in the forest... Curse you, evil fissure of doom!!!"
"So you want us to what?" asked Osaka.
"I want you find him, you fools!" snapped the mother. "Do I make myself clear?"
Osaka said "no" before Chiyo could say "yes".
"Let me put this in a way that even little morons like you two can understand," she growled. "If you don't come back here without my child, you two will be going back home without your throats. GOT IT?! The next time I see you, you better have my baby with you, or YOU ARE GOING DOWN!!!" She took in several deep breaths, obviously not used to screaming out rants at random people.
"G-got it!" shouted Chiyo, running off with Osaka immediatly.
A Wurmple approached the two, curious.
"Ahh!" screamed Osaka, running away. She tripped on air and fell on the ground face first.
"Osaka, it's just a Wurmple," said Chiyo.
"But it's going to attack us!" shouted Osaka.
"That's just what they do," said Chiyo, oddly calm. "They aren't a big threat, we can take it."
"How do you know?" asked Osaka.
"Well, I've played Pokemon games..."
"You're working for the government?!" shouted Osaka, who obviously had hearing problems. "You traitor!" She tackled Chiyo full force, got paralyzed from her Static, and was still.
The Wurmple decided it may not be worth attacking them after all, sweatdropping as it fled.
After dragging Osaka through the rest of the dungeon, Chiyo and Osaka spotted the Caterpie in front of them. "There he is!" shouted Chiyo excitedly. "Now all we have to do is rescue him and get out of here! Nothing can make this go wrong!" Almost as if on cue, a Staraptor flew by and snatched the Caterpie away, leaving Chiyo's jaw dropping and Osaka's face looking as blank as ever.
"We lost him," said Chiyo, horrified.
"Yeah..." responded Osaka spacily, not having payed attention to what just happened.
"How can we go back now?!" Chiyo shouted, freaking out.
"Easy," said Osaka. "We go back, we get our throats ripped out, and then we go home."
"Osaka-san, we can't do that," said Chiyo.
"Then what do we do?" asked Osaka.
"Where is he?!" demanded the Butterfree as soon as she saw them. "Where is my baby?!"
"Well, we-" said Osaka, but was quickly cut off by the mother's sobbing.
"All the wasted years!!!" she shouted, crying. "I could've been looking for a husband!" Needless to say, Chiyo sweatdropped at this.
The Butterfree turned in one swift motion. "Forget that," she snarled. "You two are going-" And then she was swept up by the Staraptor, taken away to its nest to be eaten.
A long silence filled the air.
"Well, that sucks," said Osaka.
A/N: Okay, next up is Thunderwave Cave. I know I could've made this longer, but I don't want to. Okay? Okay. I'll get the next mission down tomorrow. I'll update my other fic when I have something dumb and/or stupid to say in it.
Now, then... You can choose to leave one of two things. Your throat, or your reviews. I'm deadly serious. REVIEW.