If you're still trying to figure out the trend between the chapter titles, don't bother with this one, it doesn't follow the trend at all.
DISCLAIMER: Muffins! Er, I mean, I do not own Pokemon in any way, shape or form. Or Azumanga Daioh. Did you actually think I did? Tch. You're funny. I want a muffin.
Well, are you gonna give me my muffin or not?! -pouts-
Chapter Six: Wobbufet World
After managing to ditch Alakazam somewhere near a river (or in it would be more accurate) the group left him to his doom while Charizard and Tyranitar, neither able to swim without suffering "super-effective damage", attempted to reel him up using an Old Rod. They strolled along calmly, decided to walk up to the Whiscash Pond, and froze.
"What," said Matsuda.
"I'm scared," said Saria.
"Sakaki, will you hold my hand?" asked Kagura, shivering.
"What... what is this...?" asked Wada.
"Sata Andagi..." said Osaka dreamily.
One of the walls in the Whiscash Pond area had been blown up, rubble laying around on the ground, forming a cave. Perched on the top of the cave was a large and very colorful metal banner, flashing lights creating a rainbow of a border surrounding yet more lights, also flashing. The lights on the inner area of the border spelled out the words "WOBBUFET WORLD" in huge, capital letters. Outside of the cave's entrance stood, surprisingly enough, a Wobbufet.
The group stared at the sign for a while, mesmerized by its ominous aura, then Osaka fell over, unconscious. The others barely noticed.
"Should... should we investigate?" asked Saria. "I mean, like, we're a rescue team, so..."
"So what?!" snapped Aki. "We go in to THAT creepy place?! No freaking way! You... you don't know Wobbufets the way I do. They're... they're like mimes, but, blue, you know?"
Apparently nobody else did. They began walking into the dark passageway, save Osaka, who was still suffering from her seizure.
"This is freaking suicide!" Aki shouted, chasing after them.
The interior of the cave was, to put it bluntly, scaring the heck out of the group. Already it looked pretty odd, the walls curving in and out of shape. Crudely drawn cave drawings covered them like a blanket, several of which depicted very poorly depicted Wobbufets. Kagura was gripping Sakaki's paw so that the Luxray lost all feeling in it. Suddenly, out of nowhere, came a flashing light. Then another. Then more.
"OH CRAP!" shouted Matsuda, fleeing instantly. She hit her head on a wall and slid to the floor, cartoon style.
"S-should we turn back?" asked Chiyo, backing away slowly.
"My life is flashing before my eyes..." said Aki slowly.
Sakaki was silent as always, but it wouldn't exactly take a genius to figure out she was scared as hell.
The flashing light flashed one last time before flickering off, and then, after a moment in the darkness came a much bigger light, not flashing, but still rendered the group temporarily blind.
A trio of Wobbufets came forward. There was a silence, and then, all at once, they began singing in a loud Wobbufet drone. "Wobbu wobbu wobbu fet! Wobbu wobbu fet..."
"How much you wanna bet one of them is Yomi in disguise?" sneered Kagura.
"Wobbutty wobbutty wobbufet! Wobbu wobbu fet..."
"You suck!" shouted Matsuda, removing herself from the ground.
They paid no heed to her insult as a much bigger Wobbufet came crashing forward.
"This... this could be painful," said Saria, frightened.
"Welcome to Wobbufet World," said the big Wobbufet mechanically. "We hope you enjoy your stay here."
"Well, we won't!" shouted Aki.
But the Wobbufet was already leaving, followed closely by the three singers. After that was still more silence.
Then giant glass cylinders came rising up from the ground, trapping each and every one of them inside.
Osaka, meanwhile, was sitting around on the edge of the pond. She had a little notebook in her hands, and she was drawing in it. The Whiscash, struck by curiousity, came swimming over to her.
"Little one, what-"
"But I'm the same size as you," protested Osaka.
Whiscash blinked. "Let me start again. What are you doing?"
"I'm drawing," said Osaka.
"Ah, yes, but what are you drawing?" he asked.
"I'm not done," said Osaka.
"Will you show me afterwards?" asked Whiscash hopefully.
"Okay," said Osaka. She continued to draw. She turned slowly to Whiscash. "Do you mind?" she demanded. "I'm trying to draw here, I can't draw with you watching my every move!"
"But aren't you going to show me anyway?" asked Whiscash, confused.
"Maybe I don't want to show you," said Osaka.
"But you said..."
"Nevermind what you said!" she shouted. "Just don't watch me!"
"But will you show me afterwards?"
"Maybe, if you don't watch me."
Whiscash obediently stuck his head into a wall. "Finished!" shouted Osaka as soon as he turned away. Whiscash looked at what Osaka had drawn, then, shocked at what he'd seen, fell to the bottom of the pond.
He didn't come back up.
"Critics these days," said Osaka, shaking her head as she stored her doodle depicting something that was later scribbled out by a censored box.
The tubes went straight down into the floor, taking the group into an underground chamber. It wasn't nearly as frightning looking as the chamber they had just left, but its resemblence to a mad scientist's laboratory still made it rather mortifying to look at.
High above them was a throne, where a really ugly looking Mr. Mime stood. His eyes weren't normal, covered by two eternally fogged up lenses, his jaw dropping open so that it just barely grazed the floor. The lenses were covered by a red hat, which had two pointed ears on the top, as well as two eyes below that. His rather deformed body was covered by a grey suit. He managed to pull off the act of looking both comical and extremely creepy. This was Kimura.
Kimura, like many others, had originated from the human world, but even then he wasn't what you'd call normal, as he seemed to take pleasure in watching high school girls in bathing suits. He was capable of magically popping out of thin air, usually with a "suggestion" that lead to him getting lynched. It was considered extremely unfortunate if he took a fancy towards you. Maybe he was a freak, maybe he was just honest, but whatever he was, it wasn't good.
All considered, it wasn't surprising he'd ended up here.
Matsuda swore when she realized who the Mime was, and Kagura actually did break Sakaki's paw from clamping her hand to it so tightly.
"NAHAHAHAHAHA!" cackled Kimura, spotting them.
"Yeah, that's him alright," said Wada.
Kimura just sat there laughing his deformed head off, twisting it in every which way so that there were several loud snapping noises. A pair of Wobbufets came up to them to explain what was going on.
"WOBBU WOBBU!" they shouted, not realizing the girls had no idea what they were saying.
"Uh..." muttered Saria. "What the heck are they saying?"
"Something about Jello monsters creating a city of sand?" guessed Kagura. "I don't know, ask them."
"Yo!" shouted Matsuda. "Yeah, what the hell are you trying to say?"
They paid no attention to her as they pressed a button on a little metal control panel. The glass containers exploded.
"We're free!" shouted Chiyo, scrambling towards the door.
"Wait..." said Wada. "I hear music..."
There was indeed music emanating from somewhere. Very fast and rushed it sounded, sounding almost as if they had walked straight into a...
"Monster house," breathed Aki.
They all stared at each other.
"CRAP!" they shouted in unison, as Wobbufets began falling from the sky.
"Bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother..."
Somewhere in Pokemon Square, a Slowpoke and a Sneasel were bothering a rather irritated looking Gyarados. "Bother bother bother bother..." they were saying, while bothering the Gyarados. They fled before they were killed.
"That was fun!" shouted Osaka.
"I liked the part where she stopped moving," agreed the Sneasel, Tomo.
A pause. "Let's do it again!" shouted Osaka.
"Bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother..." they said, bothering Yomi again.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" shouted Yomi, shooting green light from her mouth. Or at least, she tried. Nothing came out. "I mean, HYPER BEAM!" She hit them with a Hyper Beam attack, and they were broken down into bite-sized pieces.
"MURDER! YAY!" cheered Tyranitar, munching franticly on his popcorn.
"It's raining Wobbufets..." said Saria slowly.
"They're, like, Ninja-fets, or something," commented Wada.
"Ninja-fets?" asked Matsuda. "Is that some kind of ninja cereal?"
"Shut up, Matsuda," muttered Wada, thwacking her on the head with a bendy ruler.
"Should we fight?" asked Sakaki.
"How can we?" asked Chiyo. "They're too strong!"
"Wait!" shouted Matsuda. "I've got a plan!"
THIS IS AN AWESOME TRANSITION.
"Oh kiddies!" cackled Kimura. "Where are you?"
"We're over here," said Matsuda.
"I don't see you," he said.
"A little to the left," she said.
"Here?" asked Kimura. "I don't see anybody..."
"Okay, ready?" asked Matsuda. "SHOOT HIM!" The others jumped out from behind a crate and began shooting him. Unfortunately, they were on the floor and Kimura was way up high, so they couldn't reach him. Then Aki was shot by a Wobbufet.
"ALL OF YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!" it shouted.
"Flee!" shouted Matsuda, while proceeding to do so.
"Oh god that was creepy," breathed Sakaki, as soon as they had escaped from that madhouse.
"Seriously," added Matsuda.
"Hey..." said Chiyo. "Where'd Osaka go?"
"...Bother bother bother bother..."
Osaka and Tomo were still bothering Yomi, who was somehow managing to put up with it.
"Osaka-san..." said Chiyo. "What are you doing?"
"Bothering Yomi," she said.
A/N: That was kind of a long chapter, but I managed to introduce Yomi and Tomo now, as well as Kimura. I made more references to other sources, by the way, so if you can catch them... NO! NEVER! I SHALL NOT GIVE YOU MEH PRETZELS! Besides, pidgebot took em all anyway. So... can I have muffins please?
C'mon, you know you want to...
MUFFINS. REVIEWS. MUFFIN REVIEWS. Now.
On second thought, make my muffin a Raspberry Heaven Muffin.