I really need to update The Destined Love, and I promise that I'm working at it. But this story was BUGGING me! Yeah, I know that it's a Valentine's Day fic in the middle of July, but bear with me. I PRONOUNCE THIS DAY VALENTINE'S DAY THE SECOND!!! Do the math to figure out how old Arty is.


(annoying theme music plays)

Holly: I'm Holly! And I belong to Eoin Colfer, not Evelyn!

Artemis: I'm Arty! And I belong to Eoin Colfer, not HollyluvsArty!

Juliet: I'm Julie! And I belong to Eoin Colfer, not Eve!

Minerva: I'm Minnie! And I belong to Eoin Colfer, not HLA!

Me: (whispering) Thank God… (normal voice) I don't own ANY of the characters in this fic! (cries) But I do own the plot!!!


Valentine's day. The most awkward holiday for singles. Especially if you're Artemis Fowl. The Second, that is. Artemis the First had a lovely wife, thank you very much.

Now, it just so happens that this year, our favorite Irish genius had a plan. Not so strange, you say? Well, this wasn't one of his usual devious plans. Oh no. This was a Valentine's Day plan. Yes, Artemis was going to do something for the females in his life. Well, not do something. Give something, more like.

Artemis Fowl, being a multimillionaire, billionaire, even, could afford to but anyone virtually anything. But romance was not among Artemis's many many skills, so, a month prior to Valentine's Day, Artemis started doing research. The research mainly consisted of reading sappy romance novels and watching rather, well, explicit romance movies. Finally sick of blushing during, err, INTIMATE scenes, Artemis decided just to ask Butler what to give the ladies in his life for Valentine's Day.

Butler's reply: two blinks.

Frustrated, Artemis had to fall back to his last resort: girl talk with his father. When Artemis Senior heard his son's predicament, he almost laughed. Almost. After all, he remembered a young man he used to know in exactly the situation young Arty was in: himself.

And so, Timmy told Arty how he received his first kiss from his precious Angeline: he had given her a single red rose on Valentine's Day.

'Of course!' thought Artemis (II). 'Flowers!"


Artemis Fowl woke up early on February 14th. Very early. He and Butler were going into town and to the florist before anyone else at Fowl Manor awoke. Artemis had ordered the flowers and made the arrangements to pick them up early last night.

Later that morning…

When Artemis and Butler returned it was 8:32 am. They arrived just in time, because five minutes later, Juliet, who was on vacation from her wrestling, came bounding down the stairs.

"Pancakes for breakfast!" she exclaimed, not worried about waking the Fowl couple. Soundproof walls. Artemis smirked. Same loud Juliet…

Fifteen minutes later, Artemis the First came down the stairs yawning.

"Good morning, Father," greeted Artemis.

"Good morning, Arty," replied Artemis. "Your mother will be down in a minute."

"I don't need a minute, Timmy. I'm here." And indeed, graceful Angeline Fowl came down the stairs at that moment.

Artemis, deciding that now was the perfect time, went up to his mother and presented her with a bouquet of fresh white roses tied with a red silk ribbon.

Angeline gasped. "Arty! They're beautiful!" She embraced her son, giving him a kiss on his forehead. Artemis, surprisingly, didn't mind at all. In fact, he actually felt, well, good.

His mother then started to make a fuss about where to put her beautiful roses. Trying not to giggle, Juliet suggested the antique vase that Angeline liked do much. Angeline greeted the idea with enthusiasm. She left the room to go put the bouquet in the parlor. Timmy followed her, presumably to give her his Valentine's gift.

As soon as the Fowl couple left the room, Juliet started to giggle. When she was done, she turned to Artemis. "That was really sweet of you, Arty," said the twenty-five-year-old.

Artemis grinned, pulled out another bouquet, and presented them to Juliet. They were roses as well, only yellow with a pink ribbon. Juliet was stunned into silence for a second. Then she grinned. "Aww, Artemis!" she exclaimed. Then she gave him a bone-crushing hug, a big kiss on his right cheek, and skipped away to put the roses in her room.

Artemis smirked and walked away.


Later on in the evening, Fowl Manor's doorbell rang. Juliet Butler answered. The girl on the other side of the door had tight blonde corkscrew curls and pretty features.

"Juliet," was the girl's brisk greeting as she marched in.

"Minerva," replied Juliet, managing not to roll her eyes. As soon as Minerva's back was turned to her, however, Juliet grimaced. She really didn't like that girl. Reminded her of how Artemis used to be. Only annoying.

"Bonjour, Artemis," greeted Minerva, half smiling half smirking, as Artemis came down the stairs.

"Hello, Minerva," he replied. "I trust you are well."

"Yes, quite," answered the French girl. "How are the twins?" she asked.

"Wonderful. And Beau?"


"Good." And from behind his back, Artemis produced a lovely bouquet of pink roses tied with a white ribbon.

Minerva almost squealed in delight. "Artemis! You shouldn't have!" And knowing full well that Juliet was still there and that she didn't approve of her and Artemis's so called "relationship," she kissed the Irish boy's cheek.

Seeing the scowl on Juliet's face made Minerva happy.


Blushing slightly and unaware of Juliet's disapproving glare, Artemis invited Minerva to tea. Minerva accepted and Artemis went to get two cups of tea: one Earl Gray and one green tea.

Twenty-five minutes later, Artemis felt his fairy communicator/ring vibrating. He excused himself from Minerva's company, saying it was important. The caller was Holly.

"Hey, Mud Boy," she greeted with a smile. Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Legally and biologically I am a Mud Man now, Holly,"(1) he said with a serious face. But Holly could detect the slight teasing tone in his voice. She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Anyway, I'm on my way to Tara right now. Should I just go to the Manor?"

Artemis shook his head. "No. Go to that ancient oak tree where I first met you," he instructed.

It was Holly's turn to raise and eyebrow. "Where you met me? More like abducted me," she said. But Artemis could tell she was teasing.

"Anyway, why the tree?" she asked, confused.

"Just do it," replied Artemis.

"Fine," she answered, musing over the irony that she was taking orders from a civilian.

"Oh, and, Holly?" said Artemis. "Call my when you get to Tara."

"Will do." And with that they hung up.


Forty-five minutes later, Minerva left after losing a chess match. She insisted that it had nothing to do with the chess match, but because she was in a hurry to get back to France. Five minutes after she had left, Holly called.

"I'm at E:1," she said.

"Meet you at the tree," replied Artemis.

After insisting to Butler that he would be fine, Artemis drove to the ancient oak in his Porsche. Seeing that Holly wasn't there through his special shield filters, Artemis got out of the car and went to wait for Holly by the tree.

After a few minutes Holly came.

"Good evening, Captain," said Artemis.

"Major, actually," said Holly.

"Ah," he replied. Holly smiled and embraced him.

"How's Butler?" she questioned. "I'm surprised he'd let you out of his sight, after what happened last time." She winked at him.

"Butler is doing well, and the only reason I got away is because he's not officially my bodyguard anymore," explained Artemis. "That isn't to say it was easy getting out, though."

Holly grinned. "There's a lot we haven't said over the phone, huh?"


"So, why did you want me to meet you?" she asked.

"Oh, well…Here." Artemis brought out a single red rosebud from behind the tree and gave it to Holly. As he presented it to her, he shot a single blue spark into it, causing the bud to bloom before their very eyes.

Holly was stunned. It was a simple and beautiful act, and it brought tears to her eyes.

"You have more magic than you've let on, Artemis," she said at last.

He let another blue spark escape from his index finger. "yes, well…" he shrugged.

"I didn't mean that kind of magic," whispered Holly. And with that, she gave him a sweet first kiss on the lips.


Aww! Fluff!!! When I first planned out this fic, Arty only gave Holly a single red rose, not a blooming rosebud. But when I was writing is down it hit me like lightning!! Please review!!!