I am the very model of a mutant ninja terrapin.

In matters most mechanic, I've been there and back and there again.

I puzzle with all problems scientific and math'matical

And dwell with all my family in the sewers aromatical.

My knowledge ranges from the aerobatic to the nautical.

My masterpieces go from the genetic to robotical--

My brothers turn their noses up and view them very miffily,

But in a pinch they do the job, and do it very spiffily!

Although my personality has something of a petty edge,

It's kept me safe, you must admit, from Bebop-and-Rocksteadyage,

For when it comes to sais and staves and nunchaku and ninjakin,

I am the very model of a mutant ninja terrapin!

To most of those who know me, I am something of an oddity,

A bona fide boy genius and a cherished child prodigy,

Well-trained in ninja customs, so I've never to rehearse a tea,

Completed with a Bachelor's from Sopho University!

I've grappled with all masterminds and overlords tyrannical,

Outsmarted all their henchmen, human, robot, and botanical,

And even made devices to revive a rotten tangelo--

My friends and I came out alive, no thanks to Michaelangelo!

And if you've an aversion to a person's personality,

I have devices that can make them different from reality;

Though crises do arise and send them up into a flare again,

I am the very model of a mutant ninja terrapin!

Without a cent to speak of, I accomplish the impossible.

I've made machines that stop the time and make a pizza tossable.

Our logo's printed on the phones and on the blimp and on the car

So everyone knows where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are.

Although I am no leader and my fighting is ignorable,

Though Raphael is funny and the Shredder is deplorable,

Though Leonardo's critical and Splinter has all my respect,

They all would come to nothing if it were not for my intellect!

But meantime in-between time I am fighting to protect my home

From yet another evil plot of Krang to free the Technodrome.

Although it's quite repetitive, I'd rather not go there again,

I am the very model of a mutant ninja terrapin!