Disclaimer – I own none of the Stargate franchise.

This was written as a response to the 20-word challenge set by Doxymom. The word was 'Snickersnee', and this song was the first I thought of! Dear me…

Anyway, I hope you like it! Please let me know what you think.


" 'The criminal cried as he dropped him down, in a state of wild alarm –'"

"Why would he be so alarmed by dropping?" Teyla interrupted, cutting off Rodney's singing.

"It's talking about him hanging by his neck," said John. "It's a way of executing people on Earth."

Teyla nodded, but Rodney tutted loudly.

"No, it's not!" He said, annoyed. "I just told you that Ko-Ko had told the Mikado that they had beheaded Nanki-Poo, so obviously the song refers to him dropping to his knees."

Teyla nodded. "Oh, of course," she said. She caught John's eye and they smiled slightly. Rodney, who was sitting behind them in the jumper, didn't see.

"Right," he said. "Anyway… 'With a frightful, frantic, fearful frown I bared – ' "

"Why was Ko-Ko fearful?" Asked John.

Rodney scowled at him, and Teyla tried not to laugh as she also pretended to glare at the Colonel.

"Obviously it is because he was scared that Nanki-Poo would fight back," she said.

John nodded. "Yeah, sorry, stupid question," he said.

Rodney was off again. "Of course he wasn't going to fight back!" He said angrily. "Ko-Ko's talking about his frown being scary, not being scared himself!"

John and Teyla glanced at each other, smiling slightly. "Oh…" They said simultaneously.

" 'With a frightful, frantic, fearful frown I bared my big white arm… I seized him by his little pigtail –' "

"Is not that dangerous?" Interrupted Teyla. "If he was going to cut off his head Ko-Ko should not hold onto his hair."

Rodney blinked at her. "I – I'm sure he let go," he said.

"He was probably just being cheeky," said John.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "'I seized him by his little pigtail as on his knees fell he –' "

"He was already kneeling!" Said Teyla at the same moment John said "But he was on his knees already!"

They smirked at each other as Rodney threw his hands in the air.

"Would you two stop interrupting!?" He cried.

Teyla and John looked straight ahead out of the jumper window to hide their laughter.

"Right," said Rodney. "'And gnashed my teeth as from its sheath I drew my snickersnee.' "

Teyla turned round in her chair. "I am sorry, Rodney, but what is a snickersnee?"

"It's a knife." Teyla, John and Rodney all looked at Ronon in surprise – they had thought he was asleep. He kept his eyes closed and didn't say anything else.

"Yes, it's a large knife," said Rodney.

"Gotta love that word," said John, sniggering. "Snickersnee…"

Teyla grinned and Rodney rolled his eyes again. "What do you think of the song?" He asked.

John shrugged. "It has some serious narrative inconsistencies," he said.

Rodney shook his head. "Oh never mind!" He said. "It's not like I'd expect you to appreciate Gilbert and Sullivan anyway."

John looked over his shoulder at Rodney and raised an eyebrow. He sat back again and cleared his throat. Then he started singing.

"'We know him well, he cannot tell untrue or groundless tales, he always tries to utter lies and every time he fails.' "

Teyla smiled as John stopped singing. Rodney stared at him.

"How do you know The Mikado?" He asked.

John shrugged, smirking. "That's for me to know," he said. He winked at Teyla and she struggled not to laugh.

"Very well sung, Colonel," she said.

"Why thank you, Ma'am," said John. "If you're a good girl I'll sing Tit Willow for you later."

The End

The song was 'The Criminal Cried' from The Mikado. Please review!