Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. Just as Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the song The Night Chicago Died was sung by the British group Paper Lace and belongs to Peter Robin Callander and Mitch Murray.

This series is my own private challenge from apocalypse cabaret/art of pretension. And you should know by now that I have too much fun finding song lyrics for people to sing to annoy Edward out of their heads.

This particular one-shot would be near the end of Edward's sophomore year.

Rite of Passage

by silly bella

"Today's going to be fun," Alice giggled as we climbed out of the car into the school parking lot.

Fun at school? Highly unlikely. I was just thankful we were so near the end of the school year. I tried to penetrate her thoughts, but she was singing one of my least favorite songs ever.

I heard my mama cry; I heard her pray the night Chicago died. Brother what a night it really was. Brother what a fight it really was. Yes, indeed.

What fresh hell was this? What had she seen?

And the sound of the battle rang through the streets of the old east side 'til the last of the hoodlum gang had surrendered up or died…

"You do know that Chicago doesn't have an east side, don't you?" I muttered under my breath. "Unless, of course, they're talking about walking on water on Lake Michigan."

Alice narrowed her eyes at me.

"And Al Capone didn't surrender. He was convicted of tax fraud. The idiots who wrote that song had never even been to the United States." I really wished she'd just tell me what was going to happen today that she seemed to find so entertaining.

"Next thing you know, you'll be telling us how you knew Al Capone," Emmett laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "She's the one singing about my hometown dying. A grossly inaccurate song, I might add."

"Doesn't matter if it's accurate or not," Jasper added dryly. "The song was a number one hit. It made it to number three in England. And you know, it even did well in Spanish when Banda Toro recorded a cover." He raised one hand above his head and placed the other at chest level, then snapped his fingers. "La Noche que Murio Chicago. And while Chicago may not have an east side to go with its north, south and west sides, there is a small, local neighborhood officially designated as the East Side near both Al Capone's and the police chief's address."

I glared at him, wishing I could channel emotions at him the way Alice hurled lyrics at me. "Seriously, Alice. I know you don't mean I'll really be having fun. Give me some warning. What's going to happen?"

"Alice, the rest of us would like to know, too. We want to be around to see it," Emmett grinned, anticipating some sort of humiliation for me.

"Oh, you will be," Alice chuckled. "Shhhh, you'll ruin it."

The door to the school slammed and a girl came rushing out. How could he do this to me? Prom is next week! Who breaks up with someone the week before prom? All the juniors and seniors already have dates. Who am I going to get to go with me?

She passed by us and turned to stare. The others are dating, but he's not. I'll bet he isn't going to prom.

No. Please. No. What good was vampire speed if you couldn't use it to run away from situations like this?

"Edward Cullen," she said as she approached me.

Alice grinned from ear to ear. Emmett and Jasper chuckled in the background. Rosalie smirked. It didn't take mind-reading or prognostication to figure out what was happening.

"Don't get me wrong on this. I know you don't date. I know you probably prefer guys. But my boyfriend just broke up with me, and I need a prom date." She spoke so fast I might not have been able to understand her if I weren't a vampire. "I have no delusions of romance. I don't even care if you dance. I just want to go to my senior prom. I was sick last year, so I missed it. No one should miss out on something like prom. It's a rite of passage."

I swallowed. I was not going to something as ridiculous as prom. Why on earth would I want to put on a tuxedo to dance in the gymnasium of this god-forsaken school? I felt sorry for this girl, but not that sorry. Still, I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't want to hurt her feelings unnecessarily. I'd have claimed not to know how to dance – it's not like anyone here would ever know the difference – but she'd made it clear that dancing wasn't an issue.

Before I could come up with an answer, she shook her head. "You're absolutely terrified, aren't you? Are you that scared of girls?" She sighed, clearly exasperated. "Forget about it." With that, she turned on her heel and trotted down the sidewalk.

Emmett and Jasper nearly collapsed into each other laughing. "Edward's afraid of girls," Emmett managed to sputter between guffaws.

"Edward. Speechless. I never thought I'd see the day!" Jasper gasped.

I told you it would be a fun day. I just didn't say it would be fun for you. Alice grinned mischievously.

But it was Rosalie who was worst of all. "Are you, Edward?" she teased, smirking. "Are you afraid of girls?"