To Reminiscence on That Which Only Brings Pain

Disclaimer: I Don't Own FMA in Any Way, Shape, Or Form.

Rating: PG—PG-13 Due To Bad Language and Angst.

A/N: OK, I KNOW My Profile SAYS that I don't write angst, but…I guess I need to let out some of my angstiness by writing an extremely emotional fic…-Averts gaze away from all fans who want to hurt her with pitchforks- Aw, crap…


Edward shifted and turned over in his bed. His neck and face were covered in a cold sweat and he was struggling with a mental war going on in his mind. He turned on his back and clutched the bed sheets at his side.

"N-Nina…Al-Alphonse…" he panted hard, his breath stinging his sore throat from breathing so hard.

Although he and Al had returned, bodies restored, except for Ed's arm, his dreams—or rather, nightmares—were still haunted by the memories he would much rather forget.

His eyebrows trembled nervously and the, oh so, cold, and taunting sweat continued.

Nina smiled at the young teenage boy who played with her outside in the snow.

"No…no…please" he muttered.

The young teenage boy smiled at the brunette little girl. "Wanna see something, Nina?" he asked happily.

"No…Nina…" it continued, as if his pleas for the nightmare to stop were unheard.

"OK" Nina replied cutely. Alexander, Nina's dog, came to her side and barked playfully.

"Alright" Ed assured happily as he went to clap his hands together but stopped when Shou Tucker, Nina's father, came in front of him. Ed looked up at the man and smiled faintly.

"Hello Mr. Tucker, I was just showing Nina a new Alchemy trick I've been working on" the young, blonde Alchemist explained. Shou said nothing but looked down at the blonde and his daughter.

"Of course, Alchemy" Shou said quietly. "If you don't mind, Edward, I must take Nina to bed; a young girl her age needs rest after all" he told him humbly.

"Um, not at all Mr. Tucker" Ed replied and looked to Nina. "I guess I'll show you later, huh?" he asked her as he smiled slightly.

Nina's hair shadowed over her eyes for a moment and she stayed silent.

"Nina?" Ed asked nervously as he put a hand on her shoulder and forced her, gently, to look up at him. He gasped as his golden eyes were met with bright white eyes, outlined with red.

Nina's small body suddenly transformed into that of the talking chimera mix of her and Alexander.

"Nina!?" Ed breathed nervously. He looked around; they were no longer outside, but in Shou's laboratory.

"Ed—Ward" the chimera said in the strange voice. "Why? Why couldn't you save me?" it asked sadly.

"Nina…I'm sorry…I'm sorry!" Ed's broken voice mumbled apologetically in the dark room.

"You couldn't save me…Why? Why didn't you stop daddy from doing this to me?" Nina asked sadly.

"Nina…no, I—" Ed stopped, looking for the correct words in his mind.

The chimera mix looked down; its brown strands of hair covering its eyes.

Ed began to hear a lowly growl coming from the chimera. "N-Nina?" he whispered shakily.

"You couldn't save me" it began once more. "And now, no one will save you!" it declared as it stood up and snarled its sharp teeth at the young teenage Alchemist.

Ed gasped and backed away nervously. "Nina, no!" he pleaded.

Ed's sweat continued to roll down his face and neck. He clutched the sheets tightly at his sides and his brows continued to tremble. He gritted his teeth as the horrid dream continued and his mind seemed to find no salvation from it.

The chimera growled angrily and then barked furiously at the boy, as if it had just found a prey it wanted to rip limb from limb. Its bark sounded like that of Alexander, yet, with more ferocity than any normal dogs bark.

The creature began running towards the young Alchemist, each step pounding on the hardwood floor of the laboratory.

"Nina, NO!!!" Ed pleaded nervously as he sat up in his bed and brought his Automail arm in front of him defensively. After he felt nothing attack, he carefully opened one of his eyes and looked ahead of him; no one and no thing either.

His deep panting did not cease, though. Each breath stung his sore throat which, he was pretty sure, was red by now.

He swallowed the several lumps that had formed in his throat before, slowly, recollecting his composure. His heart beat hard and fast against his rib cage, threatening to destroy him from the inside. He brought his flesh hand, slowly, to his rapid beating heart, hoping the contact would calm him somewhat. Luckily, it did.

"It was…it was just a dream…a bad dream" he mumbled, his breath beginning to slow down. He lay back down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. His mind was blank for a few moments before an idea formed in his cranium.

Maybe I should go for a walk he suggested to himself. Yeah, I'll do that he decided. Ed carefully swung his legs to the side of his bed and stepped off. He then walked over to his dresser and pulled out his usual black pants, combat boots and brown belt. It was the dead of night, so he didn't bother getting his jacket.

As he pulled on his clothes, he hoped his outburst hadn't woken anybody else up; he didn't want to have to explain anything. Once he finished pulling on his clothes, he quietly peered his head outside his bedroom door. No one.

Good; no one woke up he thought and carefully stepped out of his room, his combat boots in his right hand; he didn't want to make any noise with them.

He tip-toed his way to the stairs but, on his way down, he cursed the hardwood floor for creaking under his step. He quietly stepped into the kitchen and grabbed the house keys. After that, he slowly walked to the front door.

"Stop. Right. There" someone from behind demanded wearily.

Ed's eyes widened and he froze nervously. He carefully looked over his shoulder to a form a few feet behind him. It was a girl; he suspected it was Winry, due to the fact that she was holding a wrench in her hand.

"Who in the hell are you?" she demanded heatedly, obviously not realizing it was Ed.

"Winry, it's me, Ed" the Alchemist explained.

Winry squinted and soon, realization came over her. "Ed? But, what are you doing up? It's 3 A.M." she declared curiously. Ed's sigh was heard.

"I was going for a walk" he stated quietly.

"At 3 A.M.?" Winry asked, confused.

"I couldn't sleep, alright?" Ed retorted snippily.

Winry let out a breath. "Well, don't blame that on me!" she snapped and walked into the living room, turning on one of the lamps to illuminate the dark room. She sat down on the sofa, crossing her arms and looking away irately.

Ed sighed. "I'm…I'm sorry…I need to let off a bit of steam, I guess…I didn't mean to let it off on you" he explained.

Winry shrugged in response.

"How'd you wake up anyway?" Ed asked curiously.

Winry gave him an odd look. "Well" she began. "First, I heard you screaming, and, if that wasn't enough, I heard your steps as you walked down the stairs. I thought you were a burglar so I grabbed my wrench and went downstairs myself" the mechanic explained.

"Oh…sorry" Ed whispered.

"It's OK…Ed?" Winry asked nervously.

"Yeah?" Ed replied.

"What…were you screaming about? And…why couldn't you sleep?" the blonde mechanic asked quietly.

Ed sighed again. "I'd rather not tell you" he muttered under a breath and turned back to the front door. Before he reached the door, though, his Automail was pulled back. He looked and saw Winry holding his mechanical wrist.

"Would you rather go out there and bottle up your feeling? Or, would you rather stay here and tell me what's going on?" the mechanic asked quietly.

Ed looked down and thought for a moment. "Knowing you, you probably won't let me leave alone…how about you come with me?" he asked her kindly.

Winry widened her eyes slightly. "Really?" she asked him curiously.

Ed nodded somewhat.

Winry looked at him sternly. "Is this a joke? Am I gonna race upstairs and get dressed and when I come down, you're not gonna be here?" she asked him strictly.

"As good as a plan as that sounds, no; I'll wait for you, I promise" Ed said, trying to sound humorous. It didn't work.

Winry glared for a moment and then turned to the stairs. "Stay put" she commanded before going upstairs. Ed rolled his eyes and leaned back on a nearby wall.

After a few minutes, Winry returned downstairs dressed in a pair of black, loose shorts that reached her knees and a white tank top.

Ed looked at her. "Let's go" he told her. Winry nodded and followed him as he walked to the front door. Ed quietly opened the front door and let her out before himself. He then closed and locked the door behind him and they went out on their walk.


A/N: OK, chapter one…angsty…sort of :P this was meant to be a oneshot, I swear, but I didn't want to make it too long so, I'm cutting it off there for now and chapter 2 will be up soon. :P Do me a favor, please, and R&R, constructive criticism, no flames, thanks ;)