Holy god Im alive?!

Unfortunately, because I feel super bad right now. I was up to about the sixth reviewer's questions when I realized something; There is no freaking way Im going to be able to incoperate all these people into a super special awesome adventure! It's physically impossible for my brain. So with all my heart, I am sorry and and I know it's let down and makes me seem like a jerk to other 'ask column' authors, but Ill just have to answer this column regularly. SO so so so so SORRY Dx Forgive me?

PS, Im a bit rusty O.O

Ahem! 'neweyz,Zoro-san,you didn't answer my question awhile ago.
Lemme ask ya again.Does Kuina and Tashigi frustrate you?
Also,I didn't ask you for this so you could tell me that yer 'madly inlove with them',which is impossible for a man like you.I just asked you well.. because.. I dunno.. Just curiosity I suppose..

Aw well! Hehe! Thanks though.


Dear LonelyRage,

Annoying girls always wanting to know about that Tashigi and Kunia. Especially with me! Hasn't anyone told you curiousity killed the cat?

So my sister sat on my homework and it sorta ripped and I'm sorta angry at her, and I made sure she knew, but I don't think she gets it. Hahahahaha. So what should I do if that actually had happened?

...This probably won't be entered in the next chapter but...


Dear Sei-sama,

If it actually happened? She didn't sit on your homework then? I dont get this. I want beer. Is it raining outside?

Dear Bushidomarimo-chan,

1.Do you know the way to San Jose?

2...Great I seem to be aflicted with I-can't-stop-thinking-about-Shojo-bursting-into-song-appendicitis...What do you recommend?

3. Right, so am I invited to your and HS's weddi-GAH!! PUT DOWN THAT AXE, HS!slash-crash-scream...BOM!...Oh dear, HS broke the mast...

Getting the Shojo outta here,
The intracible Mr. 4

Dear Mr. 4,

1) Was that a retorical question?

2) I recommend you and all the other crazy fangirls to a damn good therapist.

3) You can bet Im not paying for that one.

Dear Zoro

My last latter seems to have gotten lost in the mail, because I can't seem to find it here. Oh well, all I did was say you were asexual like me. But forget about it, I need some advice.

You see, my school is doing these resume things, and I don't want to lie about them. But it might be a bit wierd if I put down exorsism and black magic on a resume, considering I've given it up. Still, I don't want to lie about it, what should I do?

And eh, while I'm on that subject, do you have a good remedy for getting rid of killer quirrels?

Thank you for your advice- Amaya.Dear Amaya,

I suggest...Not putting down exorsism and black magic? Maybe something subtle. Like attending a therapist weekly perhaps? And killer squirrels... You're on your own for that one!

Dear Zoro,
1. What is your favorite kind of music and what is your favorite artist.
2. And would you be willing to make a deal, I give you freedom, in exchange for... a confession, who do you secretly have a crush on? (and I won't take no one for an answer, Or I'll Keep pestering you MUIHAHAAHAA!)
3. You've been to the Naruto world right, who would you pick a fight with, and Shikamaru says Hi from My headquarters.
4.You know, I have a clone of you at my base, he thinks you're cool, even if he has hangovers from drinking most of the time.
Consider my offer,

Dear Boneyboy,

1) Music? I dont have time for music. Between sleeping, eating, and putting up with Luffy - There isnt enough hours in the day.

2) Hm. Interesting offer. I'd consider, but then again I dont have this pestering 'crush' you all insist I have.\

3) A ninja vs. pirates fight question in the One Piece category? We'd kick all their asses!

4) Ha, cant handle his alcohol, eh? Typical imposter.

Dear Greensword,
Hello! Happy special addition! Didja know that it's gonna be meh birthday soon? YAYEZ! Here are ze questions:
1)What is your favourite colour?
2)If you had to choose one of these names which one would you choose? Swordscar, Greensword, Greenclaw, Mossclaw, Mosshead, Dunk-in-coffeeheart or Whiskerwind?
3)What do I do if I have an emo teddy bear? (His name is Big Bob)
4)Please rant on about how girls can be great swordsman too! I like it and don't stop him HS!
-Peppertail of Leafclan

Dear Peppertail,

1) ...You think it's green dont you?

/Roronoa Zoro stares skeptically.

2) I dont even want to know where you came up with half of those.

3) Id make sure to keep all sharp objects away. God forbid he spills stuffing everywhere.

4) Gender shouldnt matter for skills period.

HiHi Zozo!

Why didn't you have a reaction to it? And why won't you dress Sanji up in drag?

Dear mischiefmaiden,

...No...J-Just no.

Dear My-Sweet-Marimo-kun!

Well, ive finnally straited out the Bob-Mary thing, it turns out that Mary already has a boyfriend, your adivce worked only...not on the right guy. Bob is now heartbroken, but i know another girl that would be perfect for him .-

So anyway, what i wanted to ask is that i have a NEW 'situation' that need attention...

See, there are these three guys that all have crushes on me(i know this cuz they told my friend who told me) so i know them through this thing outside of school and whenever we seen eachother at this 'club', we're like the best of friends hanging out and having fun.

But IN school its a totally different story, unless i say hi to them, they pretend im not there. Its rather rude and annoying actually, I was just wondering, why do they love me outside of school but ignore me inside?


Dear Lilygirl33,

...Are you seriously asking a guy on dating advice?

Dear Fairy-Chan (I'm calling Zoro Fairy-Chan and Zac Oni-Chan) (did I spell Oni right?)

Anyway, you know how Skie's always annoying the helk outa you? Well, I'm giving you permision to seek any revenge on Skie as long as she stays alive. What would you do?

THE Ia-Chan has spoken, fools. ;D

Dear Ia-chan.

I'd rid her of sugar. Forever.

Dear Zoro,

What are your views of the gay/lesbian/bi cummunity?


Dear Tasha,

You know what, as long as no one's hitting on me the world can do whatever it wants!

Dear Zoro-chan,

Hi, miss me square forehead? X). You know in Alabasta, you were the only one who didn't receive Nami's Happiness Punch XD.
1.If you were gay who would be your love interest?
2.If a girl had a crush on you (not fangirl crushes) what would you do?
4.If you turned into a girl and had feelings for Sanji? That would hilarious.
5. Do you like mohawks? -evil smirk-


Dear Akizakura,

1) A more appropriate question - If I was interesting in ANYONE, who would it be?

2) ...I dont know. What am I suppose to do?

3) Funny, I thought three came after two.

4) MENTAL IMAGE! Scary place in my head now!

5) The smirk concerns me.

Hey Zoro,

It's Been a while. I was wondering how the ol' Marimo was doing. Happy Belated Birthday, By the way. Here's my question. How would you feel if HS dressed as Tashigi? and HS, Would you Enjoy it?

Dear CheshireSphinx,

That would be weird. I'd wonder what she was scheming about. There'd have to be a suspious reason...


Dear Zoro-kun,
First time writer here. My question is more of a reflection. It seems to me that perhaps three swords is you trying to compensate for something. Like Mihawk's rather long sword or Napoleon's ridiculously large sarcophagus... sorry off topic. But honestly, Shanks is awesome with just a regular old saber. That's a REAL MAN! ...
I'm still a fan, but really. Three? Is there something you need to make up for? Is that it?
Please don't kill me,
Listless in LA

Dear Listless in LA,

Im not making up for anything! Three swords takes some badass skill, thank you very much.

Dear Zoro,
Hn. Good to have a nice advice colum. Better to do it on the ship, rathar then trapped in HS's house?

What would your reaction be to a ballerina Sanji, that sings his love about you, and claims he wants a threesome with you and Nami? What about an Emo Luffy? If you had enver met Luffy, you'd be dead now, wouldn't you? Which female do you hate the most, besides Naimi? Which male besides Sanji?...That's all for now.
Ja nae.


Dear Jaden,

More mental images. The joy.

Luffy being emo? That is just not possible. But meeting him has definitly helped me by, Ill admit.

Tashigi bugs me. And Mihawk. Come, that one was obvious.

Dear Zoro,
Yo I'm new to this asking questions to you thing so I'd like to say Hi! First of all, you'll have no worries about me cause I'm not psycho! But I still admire you and think you're the coolest guy on the show! Kudos to swordsmen (and women)! Though I would have never thought anyone could use three swords until you came into my existence. Now, on to my questions:

1. If you weren't on the Straw Hats crew, which pirate crew would you want to be in?
2. I pity you for being paired up with Sanji I hate yaoi's and yuri's as well.(no offense to those who do like them) But here's a curious thought; what if Sanji was a girl instead of a guy? Would you consider the pairing?
3. If my memory serves me right, the sensei at the dojo you were in doesn't teach three swords fighting-style. So where did you learn to fight with three swords?

Dear icebluehost,

1) If I never met Luffy I dont think I'd ever be one any other pirate crew. I was a bounty hunter after all.

2) Previous gender bending questions have blinded me to all subjects on that matter.

3) Me, myself and I.

Hey Zoro! It's me! YOu know, that one guy... with the... um.. oh, never mind.

Be sure to protest Yaoi while your on the island. I'm sure that doing that in such a populated place will have a big impact.

And now for the question... are you asnwering any on the island? Anyway...

What's the best way to get revenge on someone? Say, if Sanji went too far, or if you met an author who put you in a ZoSan... what would you do? ANy suggestions you have would be appreciated.

Also, how do I yell so that eveyone in the room gets quiet? I figures you'd know...

As always, this is Amaxing
Good NIght, and good luck

Dear Amaxing,

Slow and painful (That's for the ZoSan question too).

"OI, SHUT UP." Generally works. For me.

Dear Zoro,

Thanks for the advice, I really do need to be more...agressive;

I was just wondering what you think of cosplayers, particularly ones that cosplay as you or your friends. So far, I've really only seen one thats a really good 'Zoro' :p I know, pretty random question!


-Angst Lover

Dear Angst Lover,

Cosplaying me is pretty damn hard. But I cant blame them. Im just that badass.

Yay! Updation! ...That is definitly not a work...

On another note, I just want to give a shout out to a fellow One Piece author and a close friend, SkieLoon! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NEE-CHAN!



/Roronoa Zoro glares.

-Sigh- Happy birthday...