Author's note: I wrote this a few days ago because I was bored and well, I love these three, together or not. I've read some really good Itachi/Deidara fics, and some Hidan/Deidara fics as well. So I thought I'd try my hand at writing one with all three. They are my Akatsuki OT3 after all :P I'm not really sure if I'm completely happy with the way it turned out, but oh well. Itachi may be a bit OOC, but that's to be expected in this type of fic. Hopefully someone else will enjoy this. I plan to write more with these three in the future, so keep a lookout. Also, if you like looking at fanart of these guys, I've got several at my DA account.
Disclaimer: I do not own Deidara, Itachi, or Hidan…as much as I'd like to. Please review if you can. Thanks!
Deidara had never made another connection with a member of Akatsuki like he had with Sasori. The two had been artists and could relate to each other. Even though they had disagreed on what art was, Deidara had still respected him as an artist. He missed his old partner. Tobi was too dense to understand his art. Everyone was too dense. Even when he had been recruited into Akatsuki, neither Itachi nor Kisame appreciated his art, and Sasori had said he was just annoying.
The blonde clenched his right hand into a fist. Damn Itachi. With those damn Sharingan eyes and that cool look that said he was better than everyone else. Deidara hated it. He hated that pretty boy prodigy. But his hatred was not only for the Uchiha, but for Hidan as well. The religious bastard called him girly on a daily basis. Granted, he never had insulted his art, but he knew the silver-haired man didn't appreciate it.
The Akatsuki lair was silent, as it was late at night and most of the members were asleep. Deidara sighed heavily before standing up from where he sat in the kitchen. Just as he was about to leave, he felt a presence behind him. He turned around and narrowed his eyes. It was Itachi.
"What're you doing up, un?" he growled.
Itachi fixed his red eyes on the blonde. "I couldn't sleep," he answered.
"That's a first," Deidara mumbled under his breath.
Itachi grabbed a glass from the cabinet and poured himself some water. He sat down at the table, keeping his gaze on Deidara. Deidara stared back at him defiantly before plopping back down in his chair. "Why do you hate my art?" he asked.
The Uchiha blinked his eyes and set his glass down after taking a sip of water. "What gave you the idea that I did?"
The blonde glared at him. "You're not a person that appreciates art, un. You never complimented Sasori no danna and you've never complimented me."
"And I should?"
Deidara frowned. "An artist likes to know their work is appreciated, un."
"Why would my opinion matter?"
Deidara had nothing to say to that. He stared at a blood stain on the table that Hidan had left earlier in the week. The only sound was of Itachi silently drinking his water and setting his glass down. It was an uncomfortable and tense atmosphere. And just when Deidara thought it couldn't get any worse, Hidan stumbled into the room, half-awake and wearing only some black boxers.
"What the fuck is this?" he yawned. "A party?"
"As if," Deidara retorted. "Why the hell are you up, un?"
"Damn Kakuzu's snoring again. Couldn't sleep." He yawned again and sat down in between them. "So what're you two talking about?"
"Art," Itachi answered suddenly.
Deidara turned to look at him, blue eyes wide. Hidan made a face. "Art? Well, whatever floats your boat." He rested his head in his arms and gazed at Deidara through half-lidded pink eyes. "So…tell us about your art, Deidara-chan."
Twitching at the nickname, Deidara folded his arms across his chest. "Why should I, un? You've never cared about it before."
"That was before I woke up at two-fucking-thirty in the morning."
It was an opportunity for him to finally be able to talk about his art. He hadn't spoken with anyone about it since Sasori. The prospect excited him. Itachi and Hidan had their attention solely on him. He felt his hand mouths salivating, wanting to have some clay fed to them immediately.
"Well, my art is fleeting. It only lasts for a moment, un. But that one moment becomes a beautiful masterpiece. Sasori no danna said art is only beautiful when it lasts forever, un. I disagree. My art is an explosion of color and sound."
"Sounds like fun," Hidan mumbled, a small grin lifting his lips.
"It is," Deidara replied, smiling. His eyes were lit up happily. Itachi was paying rapt attention to him as well. They actually were interested in his art! Itachi and Hidan, of all people.
"So your art is created in a moment?" Itachi asked.
"Hey, Deidara-chan, do you ever consider yourself a piece of art?" Hidan said, eyes fully opened now.
"Me?" Deidara repeated. "Well…I…"
"'Cause, you know, you're what some would call 'beautiful.'"
Taken aback by the strange compliment, Deidara felt his cheeks burn. "I…never really…thought about…"
"And what about me and red-eye?" he continued. "Do we look like pieces of art?"
"I…guess so, un."
"But that means we're only beautiful for an instant then," Itachi stated. "According to your beliefs, we'd only be beautiful if we were to appear and disappear in an instant."
Deidara opened and closed his mouth. Itachi had a point. Were they, as human beings, considered beautiful works of art as they were now? Or were they only beautiful if he were to turn them all into bombs? And he could admit that yes, both Itachi and Hidan were beautiful specimens of the male gender, himself included. But were they a work of art?
"I think we're works of art," Hidan said casually. "God created us and made us as we are. But not all humans are works of art, seriously. The heathens I kill were probably like God's art from his artist block period or something; all shit."
And against his better judgment, Deidara laughed. Hidan and Itachi stared at him before he calmed down. "That's…the weirdest theory…I've ever heard," the blonde man said, trying to catch his breath.
Hidan smirked. "You know, Deidara-chan, you really do look like a girl."
Deidara glared at him. "Thanks for ruining the moment, un."
"Doesn't he, red-eye?"
Itachi nodded and Deidara fumed. "I'm going to bed."
"Aww, c'mon, stay," Hidan whined. "I promise not to tease ya anymore."
"And why should I believe you, un?"
"'Cause me and red-eye wanna appreciate a beautiful piece of art." Deidara blinked in confusion. Hidan stood up and backed him up against the sink. Itachi was behind the religious man, his red eyes now back to an onyx black.
"What—What are you doing?" Deidara mumbled, feeling Hidan's hand on his waist.
"Appreciating art," he replied, eyes lidded with lust. He leaned closer, bringing his other hand to caress Deidara's flushed cheek. He then brushed his lips gently across the other's. "Nice," he grinned before backing away.
Itachi took his place. He was more tentative and curious and less demanding. Deidara let out a soft moan when Itachi's lips made contact with his neck. "T-This is wrong, un," he whimpered. Wrong, but so good at the same time.
"How can it be wrong to appreciate beautiful art?" Itachi asked, watching the blonde's reactions as he kissed at his neck. Deidara's arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer.
Hidan chuckled. "Finally giving in, eh, Deidara-chan?"
"Don't worry," Itachi whispered against his ear. "You will be the most beautiful creation on Earth once Hidan and I are through with you."
Deidara whimpered. "Please…Itachi…Hidan…"
"Whose room?" Hidan asked. "Not mine. Kakuzu would throw a fit if we ruined the bed sheets."
"Kisame is a light sleeper," Itachi muttered. "He would hear us."
"Tobi's too stupid to notice," Deidara said breathlessly. "C'mon, let's go."
"Well aren't you the eager one?" Hidan sneered.
Deidara learned that night that Itachi and Hidan had their own special ways of showing that they appreciated art and beauty. And he preferred that they would never show it to anyone but him. He was an artist after all. And artists like to know that they're appreciated.
Author's note: Heh, some of you guys are probably like: "where's the buttsecks?" :P Sorry peeps. When I wrote this...I didn't feel like writing a lemon. But trust me, if I ever write a fic with these guys again, there WILL be lots of...um...yeah. You know what I mean. So I hope you liked it, and if not, that's okay too.