I can feel it. My last few moments are slipping away. I wanted… needed to tell him. But of course fate intervened and made me too weak. Although there's no one else's arms I'd rather be in. It's almost comforting to know his face is the last one I'll see. I wouldn't have it any other way. Around him I felt normal. Like an average girl trying to make a living. It's ironically fitting for him to see the ultimate expression of my mortality. On my deathbed I can finally believe that I'm 100% human. I'm not dead yet, but I can tell he's mourning me already. His eyes betray his words and actions. I don't want to leave. I had so much more to live for.
Before she, of all people, shot me… or was it after, I dreamed of celebrating my first night of true freedom. Of knowing that Manticore was crumbling from the inside out and I started it. All the mistakes I made, all my choices would all be forgiven or praised because I was finally free.
But reality had to intervene again. You know how they say when you're about to die your life flashes before your eyes? Well I guess it's true if you have nothing to focus on. I focused on him so hurt it hurt. I forced my lungs to take in are, my eyes to open and my heart to beat. But it was all in vain because he didn't let me say what I needed. He already knew.
I started to think about my girl, Original Cindy. She is so special and I hope she will be happy. I don't want to leave her like this. I won't be able to tell her how much she meant to me. She was my true friend.
One of her sayings just came to me. Cash rules everything around me. C.R.E.A.M. My life is a perfect example. First the idea behind my creation was to save money on soldiers and supplies. My "mother" was paid to give birth to me. The government finances billions in my training. They lost money chasing me for the past 12 years. I'm worth eight million dollars or more on the black market. I got the job at Jam Pony because I needed money and that's where I met Cindy. I am…was a thief for the money. I broke into Logan's apartment so I could steal the Bast for money. And my clone shot me, not for the money, but because that is what she was train to do with a hive mind. She has a hive mind because Manticore thought they could save…money. I guess cash ruins everything around me. C.R.E.A.M.
When monies are gone all that's left is people. And neither people nor money make the world go round… but they are what can destroy it. One live at a time. But now money and its problems won't touch me. I'm hovering over Logan, who's holding my body. Lydecker just joined him. Logan's trying to pick me up out of either faith or desperation. I can't tell. Then Lydecker knocked him out with the barrel of his gun. I wanted to go back and kick his ass for it, but I can't.
Then it hit me. I won't hear Cindy's laugh, feel Logan's touch, listen to one of Herbal's philosophies and knowing Zack's protection ever again. I won't be able to wake up one morning and not think that today may be my last. Most importantly I won't be able to tell Logan that I love him.
Met by fate, partners by choice and together found love too late.