Disclaimer: I do now own x-men or lyrics
Lyrics: The Fray - How to Save a Life
Last Choice Rogue + John
Rogue + John
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
You never expected the line to be this long. Maybe you weren't as alone as you thought. Looking around you see the groups of people protesting the cure across the street. An inner rage starts to boil inside you. What do they know? Nothing…They don't know what you've been through...they don't know who you are…they have no right to judge you…
And then you see him: a familiar face looking at you. In a sea of belligerent people he's the only one calm and standing completely still. His face has a look of confusion and shock. It seems that he's trying to understand why you're here just as you are trying to do the same.
He starts walking towards you with the same walk that he always walks with. The same confident walk with his zippo lighter in his hand; flicking it open…flicking it close. It gets to you…and that's what annoys the hell outta you.
"John??" you ask as he reaches you. You can't help but smile. "You're…" You search for words to finish your sentence but your mind comes up with a complete blank. How could you believe that the pyro that you had thought you would never see again was standing in front of you…
"Hello to you too, I see you're happy to see me," he says with sarcasm…maybe. He always says things like that to girls but never means them, so why should it be any different with you? But then he smiles…and there's hope. But it's not the same cocky smile that he always smiles with. No it's different. He smiles to be polite…he knows what's coming. What you're about to ask and say.
You continue to look at him as if looking for an answer but never receiving one. And somehow in time you loose your connection with him and you're not even looking at him anymore…and neither is he. And you're beginning to wonder what the hell you think you're doing.
"Hi..." you small voice finally gets out.
"Hey…" he replies. His voice that you thought you would never hear again catches your attention as you look up at him again.
You would let your eyes fall but his eyes had locked on to yours like he's reading your mind. What you're about to say. Angry that he left. Blaming him for everything that's happened while he was gone. You let yourself become naïve enough that everything would have been different if he was there…and maybe it would have.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
The line continues to move. It's almost your turn, your turn to be free of the unwanted curse that was suddenly dealt about you. You can get rid of the reason why your life is what it is. As you take a step forward you feel his attitude change and you can feel what's coming next.
"Rogue what do you think you're doing?" He asks taking a side step in front of you.
You shoot him a glare before you continue to look in front of you. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Something stupid," he retorted without any sign of sympathy. That's how he always was. He was always speaking the blunt truth not like your boyfriend. Or ex-boyfriend, you're not quite sure. He was always sugar-coating the truth making everything seem okay when it wasn't.
"Shut up you don't know anything," you bite back.
"I know you're better than this…"
And pray to God he hears you
"Screw you PYRO," you say emphasizing his 'real name'. Turning your head adjacent your eyes meet his and you can start to feel your anger grow. The anger that you kept bottled inside ever since he left.
"You left us! You just walked out of our lives never thinking twice about it. You don't know me. Not anymore! You're so selfish! GOD DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA—ugh forget it! I don't have to explain myself to you!"
The line moves again and you take a step forward. You feel him staring at you and you refuse to look at him anymore.
"You walked out of my life a long time ago…why don't you do it one more time and leave me alone."
He flinches involuntarily and for a while he is silent. No smart remarks come out of his mouth. There is only a look of lamentation on his face.
His apology catches you off guard and stops you in your step. "What?"
"…I'm sorry…for leaving…leaving you…I'm sorry for a lot of things, but mostly that I hurt you. You don't have to believe me…but you say I don't know you but I know you don't need this…" he raises his hand and points to the clinic.
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
"Yeah you're right about one thing…you don't know what it's like. I can't kiss or hug or even give someone a handshake! I can never touch anyone unless I do this! Do you understand what it feels like not being able to be close to someone that you care about???" you ask holding back your tears. You can feel them building up but you refuse to cry in front of him.
"Yeah…I do…" he says softly almost too softly for you to hear him although somehow you do.
"I understand what it feels like not being able to be close to someone that you care about." His honey brown eyes look at you and in that moment all his defenses drop letting you see him for who he is. John and not Pyro…
"Rogue come with me," he says holding out his hand as the line moves again.
You look to your right seeing the few feet to the entrance that you have left then back at the boy who has his hand outstretched to you.
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Somehow you feel that nothing matters now. Bobby, the cure, the school, no nothing of it means anything to you anymore because something's missing. Or…someone is missing from it all. Then there's that feeling in your chest again and it's called regret. Regret that maybe there was that small chance that you could've been with him, that you could have done something more, regret that you let him go…
You look up at him and he still holds out his hand to give to you. It reminds you if the first day you saw him. It was the day in class where he had made a fireball in the palm of his hand to impress you. You remember the look of disappointment on his face when Bobby had ruined it all by freezing the fireball. The memory makes you smile. You remember those sweet innocent days. Remembering the choices that you made when you chose the ice over fire.
You make the right choice this time…as you put your hand in his and let him lead you away from the cure.