A/N: Well, this wasn't exactly what I planned to spin out next, but when inspiration clubs me over the head I listen! This was entirely unexpected and came about while practicing the piano, of all things. Couldn't stop thinking about it, and this piece is the result. Bonus points to anyone who catches the significance of the title and a few references sprinkled throughout. As usual, nothing related to Narnia is mine.
To my cousin Edmund:
When you first arrived a while ago, I was excited to see you come because I did so enjoy giving you and Lucy a horrid time. Well, at the time I didn't quite think it was so horrid, but you know what I mean. I expected to be disappointed when you left because then I wouldn't be able to anymore, but because of our, um, adventures, I found myself disappointed for another reason. When I first told you of my experience with HIM (I doubt I need tell you who I mean by that), you said you were a traitor your first time there. And then I remembered that a few years ago you yourself seemed to be a bit, well, like I used to be. When Albe…Mother and Father and I used to see you and your brother and sisters, you were somewhat nasty to Lucy especially, and to me a bit as well. But then something seemed to happen to you. These past few years, though I have seen very little of you, you've become much nicer, and pleasant to be around, much as I would have hated to admit it before our little adventure. From what I have gathered, I think that perhaps it was because of Him as well? I ask because, well, I hope you don't mind, but I have been having some feelings that I never really felt before I met Him, and I was hoping you would give me some, well, direction? For you seem to have gone through a change as well, and while it may not have been in the same way, I feel like you would best understand me at the moment. Do write back soon, it will be very nice to hear from you again, even if you would rather not talk about such things.
My dear chap Eustace:
Why of course I shall! I was known for my counsel in my days there, and it was because I started feeling what I suspect are the exact same things you are feeling right now. But perhaps I am getting ahead of myself. You should probably know a little more about what caused my change in behavior before I go any further.
You see, because of my traitorous actions, there was a punishment I, as a traitor, was supposed to take. A very drastic punishment. I should not like to say too much more in a letter, but rest assured I shall try and find the time to pull you aside and talk much more about this when next we see each other. Suffice it to say that the punishment scared me very much, and I was quite relieved when I found out that I would not have to take it. I only found out later that it was because He had taken it for me. My sisters knew about this, but I did not find out until later. But I think that it was then that I discovered I really knew what I had to do.
You remember seeing fires lit during our adventure. Not the ones you started when you were… well, you know. I mean the others. Remember what a little spark caused them? Sometimes it is hard to imagine that such roaring fires can come from such a tiny little spark. And remember how warm we all could get from it? A spark would not be able to give any one of us such warmth, but when it was given the chance to grow, look at how many people it could warm!
It was a bit like that for me. By taking my punishment for me, I experienced just how far His love goes. And that was all it took. I couldn't really take it anymore. Once I realized just how much He loved me, I just had to share it. It was then that I really consciously made a decision to live in a way that He wanted me to. I couldn't help but want to. And I expect this is the same sort of thing you're feeling now. Once you've experienced His love and, well, just Him Himself, you really do want to act differently. You want to pass Him and His love on. I could see it in you after you met Him. The path was slow, and yes, there were days where you could be quite tiresome. But I saw you were really making an effort to change. I could be entirely off, but having seen myself go through quite a similar process, I don't really think so.
It is my hope, Eustace, my cousin and now dear friend, that you will find the happiness that I have discovered in living my life the way that He would want me to. No matter where you go, know that you can always depend on Him. After all, He is here in our world as well. It may be difficult, but it is worth it. The farther you let yourself go in His love, the more you want to spread it around. I know that I for one would be willing to stand on the highest mountaintop and proclaim it for the world to know…if only my first experience didn't seem so unbelievable to anyone who hasn't been there. But you musn't let that stand in your way. Once you realize who He is here, it will become all the easier to spread His love to everyone.
As I said before, I would like to speak with you face-to-face about these matters when next we meet, as I think that would be better for the both of us than mere letters. In letters you can't see a person's expression, hear the emotion in their voice, and such things. I am quite willing to lend an ear whenever you feel it is necessary, though, whether by letter or a face-to-face talk. It is only one of the many ways that I can pass it on.