Despite how smart he professed to be, Rodney McKay had no idea. None at all.

Of this much his enemy was certain.

McKay had no idea he'd offended one of Atlantis' residents so horribly that said resident was now contemplating his revenge in the form of homicide...

But, such things happen, when one has lips as loose as Rodney. One insult too many and someone is liable to go completely animal crackers on you.

As was the case here, though Rodney was unaware of it as he walked right into the den of his foe, humming some inane tune to himself as he went and passed his unknown adversary by.

The Mess Hall was an excellent place for blending in, you see, especially for someone like Rodney's opponent, who sat and watched patiently waiting for the right moment to strike.

He'd been biding his time for a good long while now and was the day. It was like it was written everywhere for him; today, Rodney McKay would pay for his most heinous crimes against the lurking antagonist.

Pay for them dearly. Every slight and every abuse would be made up for with the blood of Meredith Rodney McKay!

It was only a matter of time before Rodney, cheerful and clueless as ever, passed the one with designs on his life, and the assassin waited until he was within range.

And the moment the astrophysicist's back was turned...the villain saw his opportunity to attack with deadly accuracy.

The toaster lunged.


A/N: You know, ordinarily I would have warned you that this was pure crack at the very beginning, but that would have ruined the effect. I'm in a very stupid, silly mood...and I've had this idea since last October, but in order to impliment it, I had to start with the heavy drama and cut to the humor so fast the rug was yanked out from under you.

You should have been expecting this sort of underhanded trickery, people. This is me we're talking about, after all.'s been far too long since I wrote something with pure crack content. Now, you lazy scalliwags, review! Review like the wind! I'm running horribly short on the positive re-enforcement lately! Quickly, quickly, pump the ego!