Disclimer: Not mine.

Summary:During Occlumency lessons, Severus sees memories of friendship, one-sided love, and...abuse?! Through their lessons, hidden from Umbridge, Harry begins to trust the teacher and reveals his thoughts and feelings through his life. Can those memories of abuse and pain be erased by the future promises of love and caring?


"Clear your mind, you idiot boy!" A black haired man scolded at a boy no older than sixteen. The boy fell to his knees, tears silently falling. The last memory involved his godfather…although he knew the man before him enjoyed seeing his death, it still hurt like hell.

Harry Potter looked up with watery emerald green eyes, "I hate you." That was only half true. Over the past year, he found himself staring at the teacher. He secretly lusted for him but the way he treated him made his anger and hatred boil up.

Severus Snape raised an eyebrow, "Likewise, Mr. Potter. Get up now." Just as Harry managed to sit in his chair, he felt something probing his mind.


"Freak!" Vernon shouted, punching him in the jaw. As the boy of twelve fell to the ground, it started to rain. His uncle kicked him in the side, shoving him into the mud of the yard. It was amazing how a fat man could move that much.

"I told you not to mention your lot near my son!" He continued to kick Harry Potter into the mud, shouting out names. Harry rolled to his side, tears standing out brightly against the rain on his face.


Harry, roughly ten years old, was fixing breakfast for his family when he dropped a dish. It landed with a loud crash and broke into multiple shards. Gulping, he shut his eyes to hear his uncle's footsteps…but he didn't.

Instead, his aunt grabbed his hand and placed it on the stove to "proved that it was working." Harry cried out and bit his tongue so hard that he tasted blood. His aunt Petunia shoved him in the cupboard and locked it, letting the spiders get him.


Harry looked to be thirteen, sitting on the swings and emotionlessly kicking up dirt. He found himself pushed off and on the ground, a heavy foot resting on his back. Coughing, he saw Dudley and his friends. They laughed and threw him on the merry-go-round, making him eat mud.
Once more he found himself on the ground, body shaking with humiliation and hidden tears. He didn't dare look up at his teacher, knowing there would be a smug smirk at the abuse he suffered.

"Harry…" Severus's dark voice whispered softly with concern. Looking up, shocked at what he had just heard, Harry jumped to feel Snape's arms wrap around him. Tears he had tried to hide fell freely as he returned the embrace.

Snape knew his family was mean and rough but never that cold! He knew very well what it felt like to be abused, he knew the fear and pain…and the numbness afterwards. The desire to end your life so they couldn't hurt you anymore. He held onto the weeping teen and rocked him slowly, failing to notice the clock change from eight to midnight.

The hours they spent in each others arms felt like heaven, like bliss, although neither would admit it.


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