Author Comments: First I have to do this: SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!! I don't want anyone bitchin' at me.
Kay this was spawned at 4:00 a.m. after I finished the book. And it refused to leave me alone until I wrote it. Normally I am a Sirius/Remus fan but even I have to admit that the Tonks/Remus pairing is adorable and I do love it too! So yeah, first try at this pairing and the first Harry Potter fic I've written in the past…uh…three or so years. It's definitely been awhile.
Please don't get picky if you believe that they're too OOC, I think it fit what with all they were going through. So yeah. And once again I will stress that this was written at 4 a.m. when I had very little sleep so grammar and spelling mistakes are probably unavoidable.
Please enjoy Reviews are nice but only if you're not flaming.
By: Kitsuna Ri
She awoke with a start, shivering and looking around in the small bedroom. As her eyes rested on the other side of the bed, her heart sank a little.
Nymphadora Tonks, or now Lupin, rested her hand on the bare spot where husband should have been. It was cold, he must have been gone for so long…
The moon was not full, there was no impending danger in the house; so far as she could tell, so why was he once again away from her side?
Sighing sadly, Tonks brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them as she stared into the darkness.
He regretted it all. She could sense it all to well, even more so after they had found out the recent news.
Her eyes moved down to her stomach, which had yet to show the signs of her pregnancy, and she rested her hand there gently. He couldn't really regret this child, could he? He just couldn't.
She knew why the thought was there though. He felt guilty, guilty that all he would do is cause her and their unborn child misery and trouble because of what he was. And no matter how much she pleaded with him, no matter how much she tried to tell and show how much she didn't care about the consequences, he still would not let the guilt leave.
It annoyed her. It was ridiculous how he could be so stupid sometimes. But it broke her heart to see him so distant, to wake up and not find him there; how long would it continue? Would he finally realize that it was ridiculous to keep going through this? Or would the night come where he wouldn't return?
She shivered and quickly moved her hand up to wipe her eyes. Crying so much like this wouldn't do any good. It wouldn't bring Remus back to her side.
But as the depressing thought went through her head, the doorway opened, causing her to jump and move for her wand.
She suddenly stopped, her guard dropping when his soft voice filled the room;
"Tonks? Oh dear, I didn't meant to wake you, I-"
He couldn't continue when she turned towards him, her eyes glistening with the tears she refused to shed.
It hurt him so much to see her look at him like this. Every upsetting thing Harry had said to him only moments ago could not compare to how her expression made him feel now.
Quickly he moved to the bed, kneeling on the mattress and pulling her into his arms.
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
She couldn't respond, just clutched onto him, breathing in his scent and letting all her fears disappear.
Remus didn't pull away for a good while, he just kept her close against him, allowing the harsh realization that everything Harry had said was true.
He had been a coward for ever letting the thought of leaving her and his child behind. How could have let himself get to that point? Tonks had given up everything to be with him and he had almost let that all be in vain.
They stayed like that, neither saying anything until Tonks finally spoke, her voice soft but still filled with a strong demand.
"And don't regret it. Any of it."
No matter what was to come, they made the silent vow that always they would be by each other's side. During all doubts, all fights and even in death. Never regretting what path they had chosen to be together.