39 things Edward can't do

1.Tell his teachers he was late to school because he overslept.

2.Tell Carlisle that blackie's been toss in to the river and a bear ate it

3.tell the gym teacher he cant participate because his feeling faint due to skipping lunch

4.Give Bella a can of jumping snakes

5.tell Alice that the midget convention got moved to a different day.

6.tell Bella that before he became a vampire he was actually a women named Harriet Vrugentsteinenburgerett

7.go to the dollar store and tell the cashiers that he thinks everything overpriced.

8.go to school naked and claim that all his clothes were in the dirty laundry.

9.go to the annual Halloween party and come dressed as a vampire.

10.Tell Emmett that Rosalie is making out with the school janitor every day during 5th period

11.tell Alice that the asylum called and she needs to check in immediately.

12.Call Rosalie and pretend to be the producers from Americas Next Top Model and tell her that she's been given a spot on the show.

13.invite over all the boys on the football team for a sleepover.

14.dance in his underwear and sunglasses

15.Go on Maury and tell people that he used to be ugly but now his sexy.

16.post nude photos of himself and Emmett on myspace.

17.tell the teacher he wasn't cheating on the test... he read the persons mind and they wanted to give him the answers.

18.tell Bella that he has decided that he wants to start up his own boy band

19.tell Bella he will bite her if she shaves her head.

20.go to the national enquirer and tell the his a vampire

21.tell Carlisle that there was a guy checking out his butt or tell Carlisle that he read some guys mind and he was thinking about checking out Carlisle's butt and proceed to stare at Carlisle's butt

22.go to Victoria secret and ask if they are looking for any models

23. go to the movies and stand up in the middle of the movie and start stripping

24.go to the grocery store and ask where they keep the human blood.

25.tell everyone in his class that Emmett sleeps in the nude.. and then bring the pictures of his really sleeping in the nude

26.go to an old folks home and start randomly singing party like a rockstar.

27.go to the cancer ward on Christmas and give everyone a carton of cigarettes.

28.go up to random girls at school and ask them if he would look better in a mini skirt or tight jeans

29.sit in the hallways playing the piano

30.go to the homeless shelter and tell them he hasn't eaten in ages.

31.where a thong to school and play the thong song all day

32.bring flowers to school and sit in class all day and go she loves me, she loves me. Repeatedly

33.tell Jacob that if he were gay. he would totally date him.

34.bring pokemon cards to school and ask all the kids to battle him

35.set up a lemonade stand in front of the school

36.tell Esme that he wants to have her babies.

37.go to school and touch random girls stomachs and say its a girl or its a boy.

38.tell everyone his physic...and then proceed to tell them what they are thinking

39. go to a gun shop and buy a pistol and then ask the person at the counter where's a good place to shoot my self