Because an incredibly brilliant person decided to profit out of this fandom's obsession with making Allen a girl why not a prostitute? Still male, however. Since when is Kanda straight, after all? This is for that person, and everyone else who knows Allen tops from the bottom.

Warnings: if being in a brothel reception hall discomfits you, take your leave. It doesn't go any further than that, however. AllenxKanda, hints of LavixKanda.


There's no backing out once inside-

The place, Kanda thinks, is remarkably clean and tastefully furnished. He supposes he ought to give Lavi credit for knowing him so well—agreeing to go with Lavi on this excursion does not necessarily mean he will actually go through with the act for which the excursion is for; Kanda will take any excuse offered to back out of it, and Lavi is being very careful not to give him one.

In fact, Lavi has done too well, because it's hard for Kanda to feel uncomfortable or irritable at the Japanese theme of the brothel house. The walls are wooden with traditional doors and beautiful scrolls and ink paintings adorn the walls. The tables in the reception are low and decorated with simple, elegant designs, the tasseled cushions look comfortable and plush, and the atmosphere is quiet and relaxed. There is, however, a Western-style sofa with chairs and a higher table before it, and a small bar with just enough space for a scant four people to sit at, but the style matches that of the rest of the establishment and is situated to the side—clearly a tactful addition for those who preferred their habitual culture.

"Nice place, huh, Yuu?" Lavi grins impudently, strolling in as if they are merely at the marketplace to pick up a cartoon of eggs and cheese. Kanda rolls his eyes and doesn't give him the pleasure of an agreeable answer, but knows Lavi will read it nevertheless.

"Ray, how are you!" Lavi waves to the host, standing graciously behind the main counter, and to Kanda's surprise, the tight-lipped man breaks out into a smile. Kanda feels a twinge of wariness at this man's ready acceptance of Lavi.

"Master Lavi, how are you today?" he peers behind him and looks Kanda over with a masterful glance, "Is he with you tonight?"

"Not like that, obviously, or we wouldn't be here," Lavi laughs at his own joke, and Kanda is gratified by the slim, if humoring, eyebrow the man raises at his words. Lavi continues in his usual oblivion to other people's reactions, "I fought tooth and nail to get him to come with me. What we have here," he gestures for Kanda to come over, and he does, reluctantly, for Lavi to throw an arm over his shoulder, "is a newbie!"

Kanda pushes the arm off furiously and refuses to meet the host's eyes, snapping out with irritation, "Lavi! Watch it, or I'm leaving," he doesn't care if there is a mild blush heating his cheeks at Lavi's cheeky revelation, but he did forget to threaten Lavi with imminent death, which he regrets deeply.

The host smiles serenely as if there had been a wall between them and he'd not heard a word, "That is quite alright. We do have a small procedure for our first-time customers, to ensure maximum satisfaction. It is only an evaluation."

Kanda doesn't like procedures, or time wasting, and he gives Lavi a withering glare to assure him that if this takes too long, he will not hesitate in turning and going straight back home.

"May I have you name, Master?"

"Kanda Yuu," he snaps.

"Master Kanda," Kanda finds himself mollified by the man's discerning of how to address him, despite the fact he gave his name out in eastern order, "Our goal is to match you with someone who will fulfill your needs and remain compatible, that is all."

"So you have a pleasurable evening, Yuu," Lavi croons, and Kanda shoots him a dirty look. Imminent death is coming, he assures him silently, whether he's been warned or not.

The host, with his impeccably groomed stiff mustache and starched white clothes, steps behind the counter to properly look at Kanda. Kanda curses the fact that he's wearing form-fitting clothes today, because the man's gaze pauses to study each of his muscles, lingering at his thighs, continuing to his arm muscles and gracefully curving neck, and finally ends with a scrutinizing gaze at his face, where a nervous tick is twitching at the corner of his mouth in irritation and discomfiture.

"You are clearly a man with much strength, and I will be sure to provide you with someone who will not break easily. Do you prefer them submissive or more aggressive?"

Kanda begins to blush spectacularly, though the process is thankfully stopped by his having to pin Lavi with his most lethal kind of glare when the redhead bursts out laughing. Several seconds pass, while Kanda ponders the question, the host watches with a hint of amusement, and Lavi leans against the counter as his laughs echo inside the reception area.

"He likes them spunky," Lavi finally breathes, clutching his sides as they continue to shake in near-silent laughter, "If they're meek, he'll just disassociate himself from them and get lost in his thoughts. He needs someone who will rile him up and keep him in the now."

Kanda is at first ready to lash out with a growl at Lavi's ill-mannered habit of speaking for other people, but then he realizes with a strange twist of his gut that Lavi has hit the proverbial nail on the head.

It makes him vastly uncomfortable that Lavi knows him well enough to surmise such a private revelation. In fact, it is something Kanda had not consciously realized until now. It is… troubling to have someone able to read him so easily.

"I understand," the host says slowly, and then clears his throat, turning around to shuffle some papers, "Master Kanda," he begins conversationally, "How do you like our accommodations?"

Kanda assumes he means the reception area—the decoration and furniture and whatnot.

"It's nice," he grunts.

The host smiles cunningly, and Kanda gets the sudden impression that there was more to that question than it seemed, "I see."

"I thought it'd be right up his alley," Lavi chimes in and then pouts, "By the way, I'm getting a night too, just so you know."

"I would never assume otherwise," the man chuckles, "Miranda?"

Lavi smiles happily, "Good girl, I was worried she'd be taken, but she kept her promise to stay free tonight for me after all."

"You are a very valued customer," the man bows slightly, "As you well know, she is reserved almost exclusively for you."

"Hope you don't miss her too much when I buy her from you," Lavi winked.

"On the contrary, we will all wish you the best."

Kanda watches the exchange with a slight frown, and wonders why he'd not noticed that Lavi had a girl. It is surprisingly hard to know what goes on through his mind, even when all he does is spout words impulsively. He wonders if the news bother him, and can't say a definitive 'no', but can't quite admit 'yes', then.

"In any case, Master Lavi, her room is ready, so you may step up at any moment," he turns to Kanda with a wry look, "Our facilities are all top-notch—each room is sound proof, so that is never a problem, and has an adjoining bathroom with a hot tub, and a private dressing room. There are extra towels, sheets, and a drawer with props for your enjoyment. Food and drink is provided as well. Should you ever need assistance of any kind, or find yourself displeased with our choice, there is a bell near the doorway. Your escort will explain in detail anything you wish to have clarified—"

"Did you find someone for him, then?" Lavi asked, eager to know.

"I believe I have someone who will meet Master Kanda's needs," the man says, making a great show of reading through the list of available hosts. Lavi seems to be just barely able to contain his impatient curiosity; Kanda couldn't care less, but he realizes something.

"Hey," he says, and Lavi looks at him. Kanda pauses and tries to figure out how to say this, "You are seeing… a woman?"

He realizes that Lavi can take this question and interpret it many different ways—subtle inquiry about this Miranda he's seeing, questioning of Lavi's back-and-forth preferences, surprise at finding a woman here that he's developed a relationship with, tacit inquisition about not being told that he'd had someone else this whole time, or one of the myriad of other possible implications his statement could have.

Lavi blinks once, and then grins; Kanda would not have expected any less of him—especially now that he's realized just how well Lavi knows him, "Don't worry, you didn't think I asked for a woman for you, did you? They have both here."

Kanda turns away and pretends to read the scrolls hanging on the wall. He has no idea when Lavi made those arrangements, but he supposes he'd been stupid in the first place for doubting Lavi. Not that he'll admit that to him.

"Ah," the host rests his finger on a particular name on the list in front of him, and he looks up with a slight smile, "Master Kanda, I believe you will be very pleased with our pick. I am certain you two will have a very satisfactory night. Your temperaments will mix… quite interestingly."

Kanda doesn't know whether that's a good thing or not, and frowns deeply. Lavi places both hands on the table and attempts to read the list upside down, but the host casually slides his fingers over the name.

"Who? C'mon, tell me!" he whines, and Kanda wishes he'd grow up.

"Allen Walker."

Lavi gasps, "No way! Ooh, Kanda, you're in for a rough night. I've heard nightmares about him," he smirks slyly, "But Ray's right— I think you'll be mighty pleased tomorrow, even as you come downstairs limping."

Kanda narrows his eyes, "What does that mean, exactly?"

Lavi laughs and skips backwards, dancing his way up the stairs, "You'll see what I mean. But he's a good one— he'll keep you on your toes. Saucy guy, I hear."

Kanda frowns, beginning to regret his decision, but the smirk Lavi regards him with is clearly a challenge, and Kanda isn't about to pass that up.

"Alright, well, where is he?" he doesn't temper the impatience in his voice.

The host reaches in a drawer and holds up a key, which Kanda is about to swipe when loud, tramping footsteps are heard coming down the stairs.

"Ray, you bastard! I told you I didn't want that last guy coming ever again! It took me forever to wash the stink off me!"

He's a small boy; moyashi, Kanda's mind supplies absently, because it's too engrossed in observing the angry, hypnotizing pivot of the kid's hips. He wears a vaguely oriental-looking outfit—baggy, low-set pants that hang off the shapely curve of the kid's hips, oddly womanly ones. The well-muscled abdomen that preens above those hips is unmistakably a male's, however, exposed by the black, midriff-baring tank top he's wearing. It looks like a woman's sport bra, Kanda sneers mentally, but only mentally, because the boy's body is brimming with health and the muscles shift smoothly underneath his skin, particularly those of his shoulders and chest, marvelously sculpted like those statues he's seen in Rome. The outfit is completed by the flat oriental shoes that cradle his diminutive feet and expose sinewy ankles. His face is young and pale, with an intricate red tattoo adorning the left half of his face above and below his eye. He reminds Kanda of the moon: pale skin, snow-white hair that frames his face and swishes back and forth across his neck with each of his steps, and his eyes— they are silver, round orbs that flash with unrestrained vivacity. Kanda vaguely hopes Allen Walker is as… appealing as this boy is.

"That's why you will get eighty percent of the profits as opposed to merely half," the man says smoothly. That appears to settle the kid's ruffled feathers, and he huffs once. He catches Kanda's wide-eyed gaze on his hips, and Kanda swears he sees a smirk on the kid's face just as he turns away. The movement coincidentally makes the hem of his pants slip lower so that a curl of white hair shows, almost indiscernible against the timid white skin of his pelvis, and Kanda's assumption that the white hair is dyed is disproved.

"Fine, then, but never again. My arms are sore from holding him away. He must weigh three hundred pounds, easy," he sighs, rotating his shoulder as he massages it, and adds with a vicious smile, "I hope he can't walk for the next three days. Don't think I'll ever beat that time it was seven days, though, remember that one?" he snickers a bit in remembrance, and Kanda pales slightly at this… demon, and feels sorry for his next victim. The demon, however, sways slightly as he touches his temple, and leans heavily on the counter, "And I want a ton of food to eat with my next client. I'm starving."

Ray clears his throat succinctly, eyes darting toward Kanda, and the boy 'eeps' and immediately straightens himself with wide eyes. Kanda is abruptly aware of the situation and realizes much too late that he's taken a step backward.

"I don't want this demon kid," he states firmly. The boy eyes him weirdly, but doesn't appear particularly insulted.

The host pretends he didn't hear him, "Master Kanda, this is Allen Walker, your escort for tonight."

"I don't want a kid," he repeats, and thinks, not quite consciously, I don't want someone who will challenge my authority.

The host raises an eyebrow, "I have a feeling you will be pleased with my choice. I have yet to fail in finding my customers the perfect match. Should you be displeased at any point in the night, I will immediately find you a replacement at no cost. Allen will only take as much as he is given."

"I'm a nice guy, honest," the kid pipes up, nodding. He appears vaguely amused by the fierce resistance in Kanda's eyes, and Kanda can imagine that he's already thinking up of devious, malignant ways to make this as painful as possible.

"He's… a kid," Kanda tries the last excuse he has in his arsenal, because Lavi will never forgive him if he backs out of this otherwise, "What if… he gets hurt?"

The kid's eyes flash dangerously at that point, and his chest swells in indignation. He takes a step closer, gait swaggering with a very tantalizing lilt that catches Kanda's eye and doesn't let go.

"What, you think I'm not up to it? That I'm some delicate, inexperienced little kid?" there is a dare gleaming in those silver eyes, and he closes the scant feet between them in two smooth strides that take Kanda's breath away. He starts when the kid's hand cups his and presses it low to his bare stomach, heat scalding his fingertips as he feels the tight muscles underneath the skin that shifts with every breath. The kid stands on his tiptoes to breathe airily just at the shell of Kanda's ear. Then, he drags Kanda's hand lower, forces his fingertips to push just past the hem of his pants— and just at that moment, makes a low, heavy, guttural little moan that warms Kanda's ear and weighs against the pit of his stomach.

"Still think I won't be able to satisfy you?" he whispers as he draws back, eyes full of mischief and unspoken promises as he lets his lingering touch laugh for him.

There's no backing out, Kanda realizes, with with less dismay than he'd have thought.

First fic I've written, though once I gather enough little drabbles I'll put those up as well. Support the writers of fics you like review!