No Laughing Matter

Chapter One

"Daniel, contain yourself."


"That's an order." Jack warned.


"Zip it."

Sam smiled to herself at Daniel's frustration. Jack was clearly enjoying it as well. Teal'c raised his eyebrow in disaproval of the way the breifing was going, but said nothing. In all honesty Sam was just as excited as Daniel about their last mission, but for entirly diffrent reasons.

"Now then," Jack said once he had restored order "Carter, why don't you tell me what's so special about this latest Godforsaken, backwater little planet of yours?"

"Well, Sir, the culture is unlike any that we've ever come across."


"Most decisivly not." Teal'c replied.

"No great weapons, mysterious devices, anything like that?"

"Not exsactly, Sir."

"Okay, that's all I wanted to know." Jack claped his hands together as though ending that business. "For your next assingment..."

"Sam." Daniel growled.

"What?" She asked in mock innocents. "Oh that's right, we did find one thing."

Sam reached into her breast pocket and pulled out a small glass vile that held a dark purple liquid. She handed it across the breifing room table to Jack. He inspected it as though he knew what it was before looking up at Sam.

"Looks like Kool-aid."

"It's a Naquadah soil test, Sir."

"What? You're kidding."

"No, Sir."

"I thought the test only turned this colour in the precense of pure Naquadah."

"You think correct, O'Neill."

"So there must be a huge vien of it there."

"Right on the surface." Sam confirmed.

"So...what's the catch?"

"The catch is we know nothing about the indigenous people." Daniel provided.


"So we can't just pop onto their planet, rape the land, and nip back off again."

"Oh for crying out loud, Daniel, I wasn't suggesting anything like that. Clearly they're not using it. Just find out what they want in exchange."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't speak the language."

Jack was brought up short by this. He looked to Sam for confirmation and she nodded.

"You don't speak the language?" Jack repeated.


"Is that even possiable?"


"What language is it?"

"I don't even know. I think it is some kind of Pidgin."

"Piegon? Like the bird?"

"No, Pidgin, they are simplified versions of langauges used between two cultures that don't share a common langauge to allow them to communicate for things such as trade."

"Yeah...facinating." Jack said drying.

"It is. More than that they seem to have adopted this as a true langauge rather than a secondary one."

"You don't say?"

"Jack," Daniel said irritably "this is an amazing opertunity to witness how new languages are born."

"No, this is an amazing opurtunity to get our hands on a large quanitiy of Naquadah."

"We can't take it without permission."

"Alright, Daniel, what is it going to take to get that permission?"

"I want a chance to interact with these people, learn their culture, learn their langauge, without the interuption of a mining operation disturbing us."

"Fine...two weeks."

"Two months."