Hurray for those wonderful things called Betas... well disclaimers and warnings and such you should know by now, this is slash and what not . Please, please help a new scrubs author out and tell me what you think, please?

Prologue
You're so afraid of what people might say
But that's okay cuz you're only human
You're so afraid of what people might say
But that's okay you'll soon get strong enough
You're so afraid of what people might say
But that's okay cuz you're only human
You're so afraid of what people might say
You're going to break
So please don't do it

Afraid, Nelly Furtado

J.D jumped, soaking wet , from behind the damp shower curtain, a towel wrapped around his waist. He wouldn't have bothered with a shower until he got home but tonight was special. J.D suppressed a giggle and changed into his jeans.

"Yo V-bear!" J.D smiled as Turk walked into the locker room, alreadyout of his scrubs and grinning.

"You ready?" He asked roughing J.D's un-moused and still wet hair.

"I am beyond ready chocolate bear." J.D smiled, "I am full on prepared for total zombie action!" To demonstrated his point he raised his arms and zombie-walked his scrubs to his locker. "How cool is it that we all got the same night off, just me, you, Carla, and Elliot the old gang watching Attack of the dead who aren't dead part six!"

"Oh hell yeah J-dog!" The pair high five 'd and turned at the sound of someone at the door.

"Oh now what is this? Did ol' Coxie interrupt something important like oh hell, I don't even have the give-a-damn to finish my hypothetical insulting rant, what the hell are you two love birds going on about?" Dr. Cox appeared suddenly, arms folded across his chest and a look of confused distaste on his face.

"Say what you'd like Per, but nothing can bring me and my boy down tonight!" Dr. Cox flinched visibly at the name.

"Fo- sure, that's what I'm sayin!" J.D and Turk began to dance around for several seconds, their excitement only too apparent.

"Yes, I know, its horribly exciting and I know you're at the point of bursting and wetting your self having once again to change your pants, Newbie, so you don't miss your grade b' low budget monster film with your black husband, his wife, and the pasty love of your life. Sooooooo - I'm gonna do you the favor of killing this excitement before you have to find a new pair of low rise. But honest to god It will hurt me deep inside to say that Barbie has to work and can't make the heart busting action of The Zombie ate my dog, or what ever-"

"It's Attack of the dead who aren't dead..." Muttered J.D sheepishly.

"So not the point, Angie."

"Elliot has to work?" Turk asked as J.D slumped on to the wooden bench.

"Now I know I have an advanced vocabulary Gandhi, but you should have caught that the first time."

"But we already bought the tickets!" J.D grumbled angered.

"Yeah, we been planning this for months we're going an hour early to make sure we have front row seats." Turk elaborated.

"And your make a large assumption thinking I care."

"Hey! Come on boys were going to be late, and if you think that I am going to miss the one

opportunity to go somewhere with my husband and friends other then work, the bar, and my apartment I will kill someone." The dark haired nurse appeared next to Dr. Cox, her arms folded over a white tank top with red jacket. J.D realized with a shock that they wore similar expressions of anger. Do all angry people look like that? Did he look like that? Dr. Cox rough voice brought J.D slamming back to earth.

"Carla, I know that Newbie is in here, but for the most part this is a men's room." Carla rolled her eyes at the tall man.

"Shut up Perry."

"Carla, Elliot has to work." J.D muttered as he pulled his shirt on. Carla's face fell.

"Damn it, well we still need to go, um..." She looked at Turk then at Dr. Cox. "Hey Perry, your off
tonight, want to come to the movies with us?" Turk and J.D exchanged looks of horror as Perry's face contorted in disgust.

"Carla...No, no, no, no, nooooooooo, I do not want to join you in wasting my one night off with the Hilton sisters to watch some-"

"Chicken." Carla said, stopping Dr. Cox in his tracks. She wore the grin that Turk knew as the I-know-something-everyone-else-doesn't. It was one of her more evil ones.

"What did you say?"

"Chicken, pantywaist, pansy, baby. Clear enough?" Carla's grin widened as she was obviously getting what she wanted. "Who knew that big, mean Dr. Cox is afraid of-"

"Carla, I don't care what Jordan may have told you on one of her drunken feeding frenzy, I am not afraid of anything."

"So you won't go because..."

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Chapter one

How can I have faith in myself and what I feel to be true
When the next day I feel my heart and mind telling me something new
I feel the twisting of my soul today Something is challenging my perceptions
And what I'm going through is hard
And I admit, right now I'm not O.K. So...

Confused, Natalie Brown

Rated: PG
POV: J.D
Theater Lobby, 9:10 P.M. , Friday

Why Dr. Cox? Why couldn't the evil nurse woman have chosen to play Doug into going, or hell even Ted or The Todd. Don't get me wrong, I admire Perry Cox he's a good Doctor, and from this angle I can admire more than his Doctor skills. SEE? It's that right their J.D! The perverted thoughts that keep popping in to my head are driving me insane. I quickly look for something to stare at other then my cranky mentor's ass. Its such a nice ass. I find a poster of movies coming to the theater later in the month and pretend to be fully absorbed inthe newest action comedy. Yeah real smooth J.D.

I'm not gay. I'm not. I don't follow him around because I might sneak in an accidental touch, or maybe he will realize how much he dose care. I'm really not gay. I follow him around because I'm desperate for a father figure's approval. Yeah, that would make sense in any shrinks head...I'm not gay.

The line moves forward pretty quickly and I am soon out of posters to stare at. Damn it all. Carla and Turk are muttering quietly and I am sure I heard the words scary, movie, and Cox in their whispers. It makes me think back to the argument Carla and Dr. Cox had in the mens room locker earlier. Did Carla's taunting have some truth to it? Was Dr. Cox really afraid of scary movies? No, it was way to hard to conceive.

Nothing that I could think of or had ever witnessed from the man ever suggested a odd fear of scary movies. I realize quite suddenly that I was watching Dr. Cox the entire thought process and once again look around for something to distract myself with. I don't have to worry for long because we're finally at the front of the line. Before I could give the pock marked youth behind the counter my large order of sweets and butter covered corn, Dr. Cox taps hard on my shoulder.

"Large Sprite, large popcorn, can you handle that, Amy?" With out getting my answer he turns and walks from the line and into the far hall.

"Bambi, two popcorns and a large soda please?" At least the female curly one said please. So I was left to order and pay for the entire load of junk food. It was a lot of crap to carry. After getting every thing and finding away to balance it all in my arms I start for the theater room.

Please, please don't let it have started. I reach the darkened room just as the last stupid preview ends and the beginning credits start to roll. I stumble around and I am proud to say that I only dropped one bag of sour patch kids. At least my friends' left me a seat open. Even if it was right next to Dr. Cox. I sit and begin to hand out the various bags and cups. Only after settling into to my chair do I actually look at my movie.

And make no mistake. It is very much my movie, I have all the firsts, Turk wouldn't even know what the zombie phenomenon was if it wasn't for me.

I was very close to Dr. Cox. Very, very close. Stupid evil women! I was never going to concentrate on my movie with Perry Cox's arm so very close to mine. I was glad it was dark because I did not want Dr. Cox to know a blush had crept in to my face. I began to relax however and got back into the movie. Suddenly almost everyone in the audience jumps as an un-dead pops out of nowhere. Dr. Cox included, and his arm firmly presses againced his...

My entire arm lined his, from elbow to wrist, and I'm pretty sure the whole thing is on fire. I am so tense I'm sure he will notice and jerk his arm away, but he doesn't. After several seconds of nothing I relax in my seat. I'm ok, movie time. I'm not gay.

The touching proves more distracting then I though possible. I was concentrating so hard on the feelings in my forearm I could feel the pulsing of my veins in tune with my heart beat. Great..Some how this was all Carla's twisted idea. Turk was probably next to her wondering why she was laughing. Unless he was in on it. I shook my head, fighting a daydream about spies and secret plots all of which seemed to end in organized dance and try once again to focus on the movie I have been waiting to see for over a month.

What chance does B-rated zombie movie have against the warmth of physical contact? Stupid crush. Stupid movie. Stupid Carla. Damn it all.

Something must have died violently in the movie because everyone around me jumped Dr. Cox's hand landed on mine. I felt fire shoot upmy arm and my inside freeze all at once. My vision narrowed and then suddenly Dr. Cox pulled his entire arm back. My side felt cold with out the other body so close and I sullenly placed my hand in my lap. At least now I could watch the movie.

After a few moments I was back into the movie, quickly catching onto the overdone plot line. I should get points for keeping my face towards the screen because my thoughts certainly weren't on the movie. My mind slips from the flick and once again I am the only one who doesn't jump and gasp.

I think that Carla was right, (Curse her). I think that Jordan got drunk and let it slip to Carla that Dr. Cox was afraid of scary movies. The thought was a little overwhelming but proved the perfect distraction and soon I slumped in the chair of thoughts of zombies at Scared Heart and me a valiant hero. The whole while, Dr. Cox watching in amazement and awe as I fought off the un-dead was a bit over blown on my part.

It was only after the third jump that I realized my arm was back on the arm rest, and so was Dr. Cox's. I could feel his muscles in his forearm tense. I began to pull back but a firm hand gripped my wrist and refused to let go. Was he really this scared? Couldn't he hold Carla's hand? The air inmy lungs seemed to forget it was supposed to come out after going in because I stopped breathing. I felt dizzy suddenly and focused complete on Perry's hand which had reach down to my fingers and griped them tight in his own. What a night.