Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, or Ronald Weasley. THey are all the property of J.K Rowling. (LUCKY BLOODY BITCH!)

...Ahem...

There is nothing graphic in this, but it has a lot of sexual references and strong language. And if you don't approve of gay pairings, please don't read


"Cuddly Cats," Harry whispered. The portrait, oblivious to the fact that no visible creature had spoken the password aloud, swung open to reveal an entryway.

Holding in giggles, Harry, wrapped in his invisibility cloak, silently walked down the short hall and into Slytherin's common room. He had been given information from a reliable source that had told him none of the students of Slytherin would be at their dormitory this night.

Confident in his solitude, Harry slipped the cloak off his body, grinning. Now to get those undies! he thought, hoping Draco would not notice the missing article. Then again, Draco was observant. But, Harry assured himself, he'll never know that I stole them!

Suddenly a loud creaking sound could be heard several feet to Harry's side. He grabbed his cloak, desperate to hide himself away before he could be seen.

But he was too late.

"Hello, Harry."

Just the sound of his voice, so sly and arrogant, made Harry feel the urge to sigh happily and bow before master. Then he looked at Draco, sitting comfortably in a large, cushy chair, stroking a white feline who rested in his lap. A glass of wine was balanced comfortably in his free hand.

Ignoring the surge of jealousy – Lucky bloody feline! – Harry only smiled. "Are you talking to me or the cat?"

This remark caused a frown to cross over Draco's near-Angelic features. He had not been expecting such cleverness from one he considered to be his bitch. His adorable, emo, talented bitch.

As quickly as the frown appeared it was replaced with a smile. "I'd like to see your cat!" he shot out.

Harry's jade eyes sparkled with glee. This is even better than undies! he thought, but was still unwilling to end the game they played. As if he had called out a spell, something brushed his legs. A quick glance down showed him that Lady Luck was in his favor.

A brilliant plan in mind, Harry turned away, coyly smiling over his shoulder at his sexy, clever, talented master. He pretended to fiddle with his belt, waiting for Crookshanks to get in a good position.

Draco, unaware of Harry's plan, continued to stroke the cat in his lap and sipped wine delicately. He was pleased that he seemed to have gotten his way.

But Harry suddenly bent down and scooped an orange cat into his arms. Holding the monstrosity out, Harry chuckled. "Ta-da! This is my cat. Well, he's actually Hermione's…"

Draco flicked his wand and the glass of wine vanished. "As if I have any interest in that girl's pussy!" He shooed the cat, Fluffy, away before standing. "Are you toying with me, Potter?"

"Perhaps." He allowed Crookshanks to leap from his arms. "What is it that you're planning to- Whoa!"

He and Draco watched, fascinated, when Crookshanks immediately chased after Fluffy and began raping him (excuse the pun) doggy style.

Draco's sly laugh filled the Slytherin's common room. "That's not a very bad idea."

"Yeah." The boys watched a few more seconds, oddly turned on by the display of feline dominance. "You take Crookshanks and I'll fuck Fluffy."

Draco started to agree, then realized what Harry had just said. Only his eyes moved, locking on Harry's. "That is not what I meant."

"Oh."

There were a few minutes of awkward silence until Draco huffed out a breath. "For Merlin's sake, Harry, take off my pants!"

Harry eagerly lunged for his master and suddenly found himself face down on the floor. Blinking rapidly, he sat up to see that he was in the boys' dormitory in Gryffindor house with Draco nowhere in sight.

Dreaming? I was… dreaming? His eye twitched once, then twice, before he threw his hands into the air. "Noooooo! Damn you dreamworld! I almost got-" He broke off, noticing that Ron was staring at him.

"Almost got what, Harry?"

Laid, he thought. "Uh, pa-cha, ah… um… Fluffy!" he decided.

"Fluffy?" Ron scratched his head. "What the bloody hell is that?"

"Uh, Fluffy's a cat. I was chasing him and I almost had him." Tears filled his eyes. "I was so close to getting that cat!"

"Isn't 'Fluffy' the name of Malfoy's cat?"

Harry scoffed. "Of course not. Draco's cat is named White Snake. Er… I mean, yeah. Fluffy is Draco's cat's name."

"Whatever, Harry." Ron rolled over, tugging his blankest over his head. "He's quieter when he dreams about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," he mumbled, going back to sleep.

Harry blew out a breath and found his glasses. After putting them on he made his bed. Yet something caught his eyes just before he slid under the covers: His invisibility cloak.

Hmm… I should go steal a pair of Draco's undies…


Okay, first off I detest the Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy pairing.

lol

But I was willing to write this as it contains nothing too graphic for my friend AmyCoolz.

She's going to insert this into one of her stories, but I just wanted to post this for amusement purposes

Hope you all liked it and find it as humorous as I do!!

Byez!