Getting over

Jacob is trying to get Bella out of his head. And regret usually comes in the end. Jake/Bella lovers won't like this, ye be warned. Just a random story that popped into my mind, and since I haven't posted anything for quite a time no, I thought I should post it, even if it might suck.

Once again apologies for possible grammar mistakes, English is not my motherlang.

Disclaimer: don't own any of the characters. Just the idea of the scenery is mine. Copy it and you'll be haunted for eternity, muahaha. Alright now, you can start reading.

"Dude, wake up. Hey!" The voice was distant.

"Is he dead?" Two voices, far away.

"I'll hit him with something."

"Jake! Come on, wake up."

I opened my eyes groggily and saw the tall figures of Jared and Paul standing in my tiny bedroom, looking down at me.

"What kind of looser is going to bed at eight in the evening?" Jared asked.

I groaned and reached for my pillow to cover my face with it, but Paul grabbed it first.

"Come on, Jake. We want to go to the party over at Michael's".

"Then go and leave me alone", I said, my voice husky from sleep. I really was tired and wanted to rest. And it wasn't as if there was much to do after school and patrolling. It wasn't as if I could hang out with Bella.

"We came to drag you along", Paul continued. "It's time to have some fun and stop grieving about the chick."

"Don't call her that."

"Fine, leech lover, then."

"Paul", Jared interrupted. "But he's right, Jake. You should try to get things out of your head."

"I'm not partying."

"You will, this time."

I closed my eyes and decided to ignore them until they would back off. No party on this earth could be good enough to make me forget about things. As long as she was with them I took it as my duty to have things in my head.

It was silent in the room for a moment and I considered opening an eye to peek if they were gone, when the pillow hit my face.

"Get up, looser. We'll find you a girl for tonight."

"Paul! Shut up, I don-…", the pillow hit me again. "Hey, would you sto-". Again. "I'm serious, du-". Okay, they got what they wanted. I jumped up and grabbed the pillow out of Paul's hands, pushing him back towards the wall at the same time. He ignored my hand around his neck and grinned. "You're up! Great, now you can as well come with us."

This was definitely a mistake. How would a crowded place with loud music help me in any way? I watched an obviously drunken guy bend over and vomit onto the expensive looking carpet.

Somebody shove a bottle of beer into my hand and a girl I didn't know came up to Jared and kissed him. Paul and I exchanged a look.

"What was that about?" Paul asked when the girl giggled and disappeared. Jared stared after her. "I have no idea. But she could do it again."

"I heard that the girls at Michael's partys are always crazy. Apparently they are college drop-outs on some kind of weird sex trip."

"Who believes that?" I asked. "Those girls over there are from our school".

"Well, not all of them, of course. You just have to find one", Paul's eyes followed a pair of bare legs. "See you."

"Jared, I really don't think this is a good idea, maybe I should…"

"Seriously, Jacob. In the past weeks you haven't done anything, except for looking depressed and snapping at anyone who dared as much as talking to you. And all that for some random girl? Man, it's time to get yourself over that."

"Bella is not random, she-".

"Is with the leeches. Come on, Jake."

I sighed and took a sip of the beer in my hands. I wasn't a big drinker, but why waste it when it was already there? And Jared was right. Wasn't he? Maybe.

"Hey, look. That one over there has been staring at you for some time now."

I followed his gaze and saw a tall dark haired girl look in our direction.

"Go for it, man. You deserve it". And with that said, Jared patted my shoulder and disappeared. I looked back to the girl that leaned casually against the wall.

I couldn't just go talk her up. Yes, she was hot. Yes, she smiled at me. But no, I couldn't.

She seemed to can, though. I saw her putting her glass down and walk towards me.

"Hi. You seem a little lost", she said as she approached me.

"Lost? No, I'm not lost", I stammered and felt utterly stupid.

"Are you sure? I could, um… help you out a little. I'm Amber". Amber's voice was deep and sexy and that look in her eyes said everything.

"Jake", I murmured and couldn't help but look down at her cleavage as she turned her head to the side and arched her back.

"All that standing around makes my back hurt, why don't we continue this at a more comfortable place?" she purred and put her hands on my arm, where she gave my biceps a little squeeze.

"Mhm, Jake, you work out?"

"Something like that". Actually I phase into a wolf every day, and running on four paws is good workout. She led me up to the first floor and into an empty bedroom.

I took another sip of my beer and wondered if I was dreaming. This couldn't be happening. An unknown girl up for sex did not just lock us into an empty bedroom.

"So, Jake", she stood in front of me and took the bottle out of my hand. "You're from around here?"

"Yeah, I'm from-", and yet another time on this evening I was cut off, this time by her lips that pressed eagerly onto mine. My head started to feel a little dizzy and I couldn't tell if it was the beer or the kiss. On top of that right and wrong started a debate in the back of my mind.

Wait, you can't do this.

Why not? She's hot.

You don't even know her.

So what, I'm just kissing her.

You know it's not just gonna stay like that.


You love Bella.

Bella turned to the enemy.

This can't be a revenge on Bella.

It's not.

Amber opened my shirt and her hands explored my chest. Suddenly I found myself on the bed, with her on top of me, not remembering how. She also had no shirt on, somehow, and I didn't know why my hands were so bold to cup her full breasts. I dropped them.

"Wait", I gasped. "I can't."

"Why, do you have a girlfriend?" she licked a trail down my neck.

"No, but…I mean-".

"Are you a virgin, then?" She giggled as I remained silent. "Don't worry, Jake. You are in good hands."

She kissed me again and pushed her knee between my legs gently. I gasped for breath. My body wanted this. But I couldn't. A very small voice from somewhere told me to stop her, as she now opened my pants and pulled them down.

"Amber, I don't think I can do this", my voice didn't even convince myself.

"Well, it seems like you're thinking with two minds here". She nodded at my more than visible erection. "Guys mostly think with that other mind."

I must have been blushing as furiously as…, no I would not finish this thought. Maybe it really was time to get certain things out of my mind.

Ambers face disappeared out of my sight, that had strange foggy edges. Suddenly I felt like burst out laughing; the alc hit in.

Something very warm trailed down my chest. No idea what it was. But it made me giggle insanely.

"Are you ticklish?" Amber asked seductively.

"Amber, are you a college dropout?" I babbled. It was very important to know that. As important as global warming. I burst out giggling again.

"Oh, boy, just shut up now", she snapped. I saw her kneeling over me, pulling her skirt down.

"I've never been in bed with a guy that talks that much."

And then she was naked. I lifted my heavy head from the pillow and stared at her. Then it occurred to me that I was stark naked myself.

"So, little Jake", she bend over me and pressed her breasts to my chest. "How do you want me?"

"Huh?" I asked her boobs.

"Tell me what you want me to do. You can have everything." She kissed my neck and bit my ear before she sat up, took my hand and guided it over her warm body. This felt good; too good. 'Wow, I'm touching a naked girl', I thought. 'She's naked, she wants me, she's hot… and she's…naked'. This wasn't happening.

"Mhm? Or maybe we just find out what you could like", she purred now.

In slow motion I witnessed Amber's right leg swing over my hips and while she lowered herself slowly over my hard on I sudden flow of pictures rushed past my unbelieving eyes.

Bella sitting in her car; Bella tripping over thin air; Bella reading a book. God knew what had triggered those memories in such a moment. This was hardly a situation that would remind me of her. At the same time I wondered how many thoughts one could have in a few seconds; and then I felt it, hot, wet and tight around me.

My body acted disconnected from my mind; hands grabbed tights, hips pushed up and eyes watched all of that while my mind wondered. And realized at a snails pace that Jacob Black was loosing his virginity to a girl that meant nothing to him, because all that mattered was Bella and the vampires.

Amber was back in her clothes before I'd even realized that it had come to an end. She sat on the bed and slipped into her sandals. "Thanks for the nice evening, Jake", she pecked my cheek and I didn't even see it coming because my mind was all blurry from sex and alcohol and disbelief. "You've been great." Then I heard a door open. And close.

I yawned into the silence and couldn't believe anything that happened in the past hour. God yes, it had all been good but now it felt so wrong. I felt too drunken and tired to stand up but that didn't stop my mind from feeling guilty. Guilty of what? There was nothing to feel bad about. It wasn't as if I'd betrayed somebody. It wasn't as if we didn't use protection. And it wasn't even too late for curfew. It was as if it never happened.

Just, that I'd just experienced my first time and already couldn't remember half of it.

Later, after I'd somehow managed to find my clothes and leave the room –the party was still on, and I foggily realized that this one hour in my life affected only myself, no one else. None of those people cared. None of them knew. Still, those bad feelings, twisting my stomach and biting into my heart, wouldn't care about that; they'd haunt me along with everything else that haunted me. I saw somebody waving at me and realized that there was no fast chance of getting over, no matter with what I'd try to, soberly or not.

Bella had turned to the enemy.