Truth or Dare- FF8 Style
Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing. For more information, see previous disclaimers. Authors note: HI!!!!! I know, the last chapter sucked. So will this one, So too bad :) And I don't actually hate Rinoa, or anyone else (well, maybe Quistis). I've just been influenced deeply by all the Rinoa bashers.
"There is NO way in hell I'm French kissing Squall! No fricken way!" Zell shouted, "Even kissing Rinoa would be better! But..." he glanced at the thong. "Sorry buddy," he told Squall, before beginning to kiss him.
Seven minutes later, Irvine asked, "Do you think we should stop them?" The rest of the group nodded, their eyes glued to Squall and Zell. "Umm...guys?" Irvine spoke up, "I hate to break it up, but do you think we could get on with the game?"
Squall and Zell stopped, and blushed bright red. "Ok...Selphie, Truth or Dare?" Zell asked. Selphie started to answer, but Zell interrupted, "You guys know I didn't enjoy that or anything right? It was an accident...or something like that. You guys knew that, RIGHT!!??"
"Yes Zell, we know, so would you shut up!?" Selphie told him, sounding impatient, "Anyway, truth, these dares are starting to scare me."
"OK," Zell replied, "Hmm... what can I ask? I know.. What kind of drugs are you taking? 'Cause no one is that hyper by nature."
"Ecstasy!" Selphie replied, "Want some?" She handed some to Zell and Rinoa, took some herself, then turned to Irvine. "Irvy! Truth or Dare?" Irvine immediately replied, "Truth. There's no way I'm going near that thong."
"OK." Selphie thought, then asked, 'Do you love me?" Irvine shook his head, "Sorry babe," he told her, "I can't commit like that." Selphie smiled. "That's ok!" she told him, "I never loved you either. I just liked the hat." Irvine snatched his hat off her head. "Hey!" Selphie screamed, 'Give me the $%@$!@# hat, NOW!!!" Irvine nodded meekly and placed it back on her head.
Irvine turned to Squall, who was sitting on his bed talking to the stuffed animals. "Hello Mr.Bunnykins," Squall said to a pink stuffed rabbit, "How was your day?" An expression of anger appeared on his face. "He did WHAT!? That's the last time I'm EVER letting Leo into the candy jar! I'll have to have a long talk with that Lion later. Thanks for telling me. You're my best friend ever!"
"Ummm... Zell?" Quistis asked, " Do you have any idea why Squall is talking to plush toys? 'Cause he's seriously creeping me out." Everyone began mentioning various reasons, ranging from alien abduction to stress caused from too much work and not enough sex.
Finally Rinoa spoke up, "I think he drank too much." Looking at the floor by the bed, they saw about twenty empty liquor bottles. Squall looked at Rinoa, laughed, and replied, "Yeah, and maybe you ate too much. Cuz gurl, you are like, FAT!!!!!!!!! Look at that ass! Jiggle jiggle!"
As Rinoa ran out of the room crying, Zell spoke up, "Don't worry, Squall always gets drunk. It wears off really quickly." Sure enough, a minute later, Squall seemed completely normal. "Truth," he told Irvine.
"Ok...." Irvine replied, wondering how the hell it was possible to get over being drunk that quick. He shrugged, and said, "Umm.... who do you really like? Please say it's not really Rinoa."
"Are you crazy? I only pretend to like her for her...umm...I don't know. Why the F**k do I pretend to like her? Hmmm..." He thought about it for a while, then said, "Anyway, no I actually like...umm....someone."
"Oh come on Squall," Selphie told him, "You can say it. You like Zell. It's pretty obvious from that kiss."
"No I don't" Squall replied, "He's a good kisser, but actually I like... you." he told her. Selphie smiled, giggled and kissed him on the cheek, to which he replied, "...Whatever."
"Awww... he really likes me," Selphie giggled. Squall hid a smile and said, "Ok, Quistis, truth or Dare?" She picked dare, "Ok," Squall replied, "Umm.... go tell Rinoa I'm breaking up with her, and I only went out with her for her powers."
"Why do I have to tell her?" Quistis asked, "She might be a stupid bitch, but she's still a sorceress! She could kill me. Tell her yourself!"
"It's a risk your going to have to take," Squall told her, "If I go tell her she'll use her powers to get me in bed with her or something. And I'm sure I don't need to tell you the consequence." Quistis gulped. "Oh look at it this way," Squall reassured her, "If she kills you then you won't have to put up with the Trepies."
"Ok, fine," Quistis replied, "But you better pay me back, well, if I live." Squall, shrugged, knowing that if she lived it'd be a miracle. Rinoa could get violent when something small happened, like a bug landing on her foot. He'd hate to be the one to tell her.
Quistis left, and everyone sat around eating and drinking, waiting for her to come back. From across the hall there was shriek of anger, and the sound of fighting. The thumps and thuds soon came to an abrupt halt, and Irvine stood up. He walked out the door, and the others heard him open the door to Rinoa's dorm.
He came back in, with a strange look on his face, and sat down. "Um... I have good news and bad news. The good news is, Rinoa's dead." Everyone cheered, especially Squall. "he bad news is, so is Quistis.
The room fell silent. Finally after two minutes, Squall asked, "So?" Irvine turned to him, "So we can't finish the game, it was her turn." There was some more silence, then Squall spoke up. "So.... I guess you guys can go now. See ya."
Everyone, having nothing else to do, got up and left. Squall looked at his clock and saw that it was four o'clock in the morning. "Good, still an hour and a half until I have to get up," he muttered. Before he went to sleep, he stopped to put the pink thong back in his closet. 'Hmm...that's weird,' he thought, 'It's not here. Oh well.'
He went to sleep, but across the hall and three doors down, from Irvine's dorm, came the faint sound of classical music.
Author's Notes: I sorta got bored of this story, so if the ending sux, oh well. My next story is gonna be huge, and really awesome. It'll be horror, but I might write one or two short humor fics in between chapters. Peace out, luv y'all