She was exhausted.

Death had a way of doing that to you, taking all of your energy and stealing tiny pieces of your soul.

She wasn't sure if she had much of soul left to steal.

Perhaps she had inherited Jolinar's soul, by absorbing her, but she doubted the Tok'ra had much of a soul left either. Not with the memories and nightmares she'd left behind for Sam to relive.

With the soul destroying work and the exhaustion she could barely stand up. Standing in the shower, she leant back against the wall of the cubicle, eyes closed, water spilling over her. It was a battle to keep upright, her legs were shaking slightly with the effort. She had neither the energy nor the inclination to really wash herself or her hair. She just hoped the too-hot water would rid enough of the mud and blood so that she was presentable enough to drive home.

If she managed to get out of the mountain.

Every cell in her body was falling, she felt like she was being pulled to the floor and she was sure that, if she slid down the tiles, she'd fall to sleep and drown under the spray.

At least she wouldn't be tired then and she wouldn't have to watch anyone else die, but this wasn't time for thoughts of her own death. It was selfish almost, and her yearly psych evaluation was only weeks away.

She pushed herself away from the wet wall with a grunt and a groan. As she walked her entire body was slumped downwards, knees bent, back hunched over, eyelids almost closed. She was never going to make it home.

She pulled some clean BDUs on, forgoing underwear for the moment. It could wait, everything could wait, for an hour at least. She just wanted to lie down, close her eyes and the wooden bench looked very comfortable. The floor looked comfortable. Zipping up the boiler suit she trudged out of the locker room and into the elevator. Just a few floors up to her quarters, that was all, not long and she could crawl into her cot and sleep. Really curl up into a ball and sleep.


She woke up in her bed. Still dressed, boots neatly placed beside the door and she couldn't remember anything that had happened after she'd pressed the button in the elevator.