Hey hey, everybody! I think you're going to like this fic! Just some information before we start:
- For those of you who read me for my smut, sorry, for right now, no sex. This is just a normal shonen-ai. Although, in later chapters, there will be hot, sweaty, guy on guy, so stick with me!!
- As of yet, I do not have a beta, so 1. Don't flame me for mistakes, even though I looked through it many times, some things do slip through. And 2. If you are willing and able, you can PM me about taking up the wonderous job of being my beta! Weee! That'll be fun[/end sarcasm ((Oh, and the chat thing later on in this chapter, I meant to not capitalize those sentences!))
- As I stated before, this is a shonen-ai. If you don't like it... then you're probably either straight, or a homophobe. But, that doesn't mean you can flame me just because you're different from the rest of us 3
- You'll be happy to know that I am an accomplished writer. So, please, do enjoy. And don't forget to comment. Critics are welcome!
- And, finally, I'd like to publically thank DirtyBlackSmudge for helping me brainstorm through this. When we first spoke to each other on 'Diary of a Victim', you were an asshole... but I wouldn't have it any other way! You've helped me so much! Don't ever lose that firey touch of yours!
And on with the show!!!
Roxas sighed heavily as his eyes drooped. Slowly, his gaze drifted toward the clock blinking silently on his computer screen. "1:00 AM," he whispered out loud, rubbing his sleepy eyes, letting out a long yawn. "How long have I been on here?" He played with the pitch black mouse sitting on his desk, tracing over the edges of the monitor with his cursor out of sheer boredom. He sighed, which gradually ended in another sleep deprived yawn.
Today was a long day, and it didn't look like it was going to end any time soon. Summer had just started only a few weeks ago, and he had done almost absolutely nothing with his free time. Maybe hung out with his few friends every once in a while. Emphasis on few. Roxas wasn't what you called 'popular.' In fact, he always told himself that his greatest talent was being ignored. As if he wasn't even there most of the time.
Roxas eyed his can of Coke and lifted it to his lips, grateful for the caffiene to help drive his insomnia. He winced in disgust as he spat the brown liquid back into the container. "Flat and warm," he said, mock joy dripping from his voice. He spied into the small tin hole, his face scrunching up with distaste and deftly threw the can into the nearby trash bin.
The teenager ran his fingers through his spiky blonde hair, his sea-blue orbs scanning the YouTube site for anything that looked interesting. Needless to say, nothing jumped out at him. But, it didn't matter. Anything was better then going to sleep! As of late, Roxas had been having these haunting dreams about guys. Freaking guys! That was just wrong, and he'd rather die then drift into those strange nightmares. The blonde whipped his head around as he heard a particularly loud snore from his father in the room just next to his.
"What am I worrying about?" he snickered quietly to himself. "Not like either of them are gonna wake up any time soon!" He smiled at the thought... but slowly the grin melted from his face, reforming into a puzzled frown. Gross or not, he was having those dreams. And a person with any sense at all would be smart enough to know that if something is troubling you, you should investigate it. Roxas highly admired his wit and sense of problem solving. To him, this was just another experiment for him to perform. And, hell, if nothing else, it would kill a couple of hours.
Roxas expertly brought up the Wikipedia site from his 'Favorites' menu and clicked on the search bar. A flash of hesitation bolted through his mind, and his hand hovered gingerly over the keyboard. Did he really want to do this? "Of course!" he assured himself. "Just think of it as another science essay." He swiftly keyed into the search bar 'homosexuality,' and clicked enter with a sharp, annoyed tap. A brightly colored rainbow flickered on screen and Roxas nearly spit up with laughing. "How gay!" he exclaimed. "No pun intented," he added as if someone was listening.
The boy looked over the page, drinking in every word. He curled his lips in concentration, suddenly feeling a lot less tired. Finally, Roxas shook his head wearily. "There has to be some explaination," he thought out loud. Ideas stormed through Roxas' mind as he tried to calculate a plausible reason. Hastily, he rushed his fingers over the keyboard, searching for a new target. 'Teenage homosexuality.' Another page winked into life and the curious teenager read that one as well.
He shook his head again. Something caught his interest, and something in his head just clicked. He read that during puberty, hormones are released into the teenagers body, causing them to become attracted to peers of the same sex. "Ha!" Roxas laughed in triumph. "That's it, that's my answer. It's all just a freaking phase! And, since I'm 16, I don't have to deal with it for much longer!" He leaned back, quite pleased with himself and his work. But gradually, Roxas straightened up in his chair, his face becoming more and more confused.
It wasn't enough, he thought. The whole Wikipedia thing is all just too proffessional and much too impersonal. Roxas needed a seconed opinion. He flicked his mouse back up to his 'Favorites' and brought up Google. Roxas had no experience in this. It was a like a foriegn language to him. Yeah, he knew some queers. There was Riku and Sora, the two most popular guys in school. Roxas thought of them, especially Sora, as the "Anti-Roxas'." Somehow they managed to remain 'cool' and 'gay' at the same time... literally. And then there was that Tidus kid, whom Roxas was almost certain was gay. Or maybe he just acted like it to get attention. Whatever.
The blonde scrolled down the page until he found local sites for LGBT teens. He double clicked on the most popular one, and to Roxas' surprise, a chat box popped up on screen. He felt himself gasp as the hundred of screen-names flashed over the monitor. "Even at this hour, the queers are at play," Roxas laughed. A pop up flickered up and asked for Roxas' own screen-name. The teenager put his hand to his chin in thought. After a quick smirk, Roxas keyed in 'ANobody.' He thought it was pretty clever, considering the circumstances.
At once, somebody was trying to contact Roxas. "Hey cutie, how's it going?" the IM read. Roxas let out a half hearted chuckle as he typed back:
'You seem interesting, what's your real name?' Roxas furrowed his brow. "Like I'm that stupid," he voiced, while typing it at the same time.
'I bet you already have a boner just talking to me!'
"Oh, hell, no!" Roxas practically screamed, closing out the box and essentially ending their misguided conversation. He was extreamly reluctant to continue this adventure, but his curiousity was still peaked. He grimaced bitterly and opened up another chat box with some random person. 'Hi, I'm new here,' he informed the person.
'oh, cool, lol! hope you have fun!'
'Yeah, me too,' Roxas typed, thought a moment, and then re-typed it with a '2' replacing the 'too,' just to fit in more.
'okay, rule #1,' the person continued. 'cyber sex is manditory!'
Roxas ruffled his hair in exhasberation. 'I'm not comfortable with that,' he answered honestly.
'look,' the person continued. 'once we get down these silly walls, and get comfortable, we can meet in real life and do it the way it's supposed to be!'
'No, I'm leaving now,' Roxas typed and closed out the box. "God, are there any decent gay people out there?" he hissed. But, he still wasn't satisfied. "Okay, one more," he told himself, trying to find someone that looked innocent enough. This time, he actually looked at the screen-names for a sort of hint. Finally, his gaze fell upon someone by the name of "FMAfanatic."
"I love FullMetal Alchemist!" Roxas chirped, happily, willingly clicking on the persons name. 'Hey,' he typed, and waited patiently for a reply.
'I've been a member of this site for a year now,' the person started. 'I would think you guys would know by now that I'm not interested in cyber sex!'
'Whoa!' Roxas keyed. 'Chill, I'm new here. And for the record, I'm not into that stuff either.'
'Oh, sorry about that,' he apologized. 'Welcome, but I don't know why either of us should come here. All these guys are interested in is stalking other guys. What a stupid way to waste your time!'
'Seriously,' Roxas answered, having a hard time talking to the person. He decided that simple answers where the best.
'So what's your sexuality?' FMAfanatic asked, trying to make small talk.
'Oh, I'm straight,' Roxas assured. 'I'm just here cause I was bored.'
'Oh, I see.' Roxas had no idea whether someone could sound disappointed over an IM, but he could definately tell that this guy was.
'Hey, sorry," he began, trying to mend his mistake. 'I'm not used to talking to homosexuals, lol.'
'lol, you're funny, ANobody. Wow, don't have a lot of self esteem, do you?'
'Haha, not really.'
'Ha, well, I'll help you get over that real quick!'
Then, something strange happened... Roxas smiled... With light fingers, he padded in his response. 'Okay, I'll be honest. I've been having these dreams about guys lately. They've been really confusing me, and I'm not sure what to do. So, I came here, thinking I could get some advice from more experienced guys.'
There was a long pause, and Roxas feared he may have scared the other guy away! But finally, a reply flashed on screen. 'And, instead, you got bombarded by pervs! I bet that got you even more into the gay spirit!' Roxas literally giggled out loud. Not a laugh, or a snicker. But, a loud, high pitched, girly giggle.
'You're the one that's funny!' Roxas shot back after his fit was over.
'Yeah, I try, lol!' came the reply. 'But it took me a while to come up with it. I'm not that quick witted, ha.' Roxas was about to key again, when FMAfanatic continued. 'So, you've got questions, and I'm an experienced queer. What do you want to know?'
The blonde thought for a second. 'When did you decide you were gay?' he asked, bluntly.
'DECIDE?!!' came the almost instant reply. 'I didn't decide anything, buddy! This is who I am, it's only natural!' Roxas thought it best to wait him out and let the guy finish. 'When did I discover I was gay, would be a better question. And the answer to that is, in my Freshmen year of highschool. I'm a Junior now.'
Roxas smirked again. 'Cool, me too!' he added.
'But the proof didn't really come until later, probably my sophomore year,' FMAfanatic explained. 'I saw this one super cute guy in the halls at school that... to this day, I have yet to talk to. But, anyway, that's when really I knew. That's when it became official.' Then he quickly added, 'Anything else?'
'What's it like dating guys?' Roxas asked, even more curious now then when he began.
'idk,' was the reply. 'I have yet to be in a relationship with anyone. Too shy. And I know it would be awkward for my friends.'
'You seem nice,' Roxas admitted. 'They'd understand. From what I've seen so far, you're a real cool guy.' There was another long pause.
'Are you coming on to me, straight guy?'
Roxas blushed a deep crimson and felt his face flare up. Why was this guy making him so jittery? It's not like he was gay or something. 'Um...' he keyed in slowly, not sure what to say. 'No, I'm not, just giving a compliment.'
'Hmph,' came the simple reply. There was a knock on Roxas' door, and the teenager jolted upright, hastily minimizing the chat site. Flustered and paranoid, he called out, "Come in."
Roxas' father came through the door way, his face tired and his eye lids half closed. "Get to sleep," he mumbled. "That typing is getting louder and louder, and it's annoying your mother and I."
"Oh, sorry," the teen answered weakly. "Let me just say good-bye, and I'll get off." His father grunted and closed the door, while Roxas turned back to his computer and unminized the page. 'The P.U.s are getting annoyed,' he informed. 'Gotta go.'
'Okay,' FMAfanatic wrote, understandingly. 'Love ya!'
Roxas smiled and without thinking typed in 'Love you,' and clicked the Enter key softly. A few soundless moments ticked by when suddenly, Roxas' eyes snapped open. He frantically clutched at his monitor, his eyes inches away from the screen and shouted, "NO! WAIT!" But it was too late. Roxas flailed his arms, and decided that the only safe thing to do was get out of there before the other guy could say anything. With a sharp pounding of his forefinger, Roxas closed the window, still nervously biting his lower lip in embarrassment.
"'Love you?'" he quoted, laughing, his legs propped lazily up on his desk. "This guy's so innocent! It's really cute." Sora let his bare feet fall to the floor and kicked the sheets off his bed, lying down. "I don't know who that was, but I do know I'm gonna have sweet dreams tonight!" he mused, and dreamily closed his eyes.