Author's Note: R. A. Salvatore never really showed Jarlaxle getting used to the surface, so I wondered what all he went through. This is a scene that would have happened when Jarlaxle was getting used to the Basadoni Guild. Ariel D requested all us Jarlaxle and Artemis writers to try our hand at fluffy stories, so this is my first attempt. Not that I can't do fluff. It's just usually mixed in with a lot of other stuff. ;p

Jarlaxle Discovers Sugar


Jarlaxle looked at the bag of white sand-like crystals. "What is this?"

"Sugar," Artemis said.

Jarlaxle took a pinch of the substance and licked it. His face lit up. "This tastes delightful!"

Artemis raised an eyebrow at him. "You don't have sugar in Menzoberranzan?" Of course not, he thought. Sugar needs sun.

"I don't know," Jarlaxle said, helping himself to another small pinch of sugar. "If it's there, my people certainly don't know it. What is it? Some kind of mineral?"

"No," Artemis said. "It comes from a plant."

"Oh. Well, that explains it."

Artemis frowned at him. "Stop doing that."

Jarlaxle paused in the act of eating more sugar. "Why?"

"It affects peoples' behavior."

"It does?" Jarlaxle hastily brushed the sugar off his hands. "Why didn't you say so?"

Artemis sighed. "Because it needs to be taken internally of a larger quantity than what you were exposed to."

Jarlaxle was now eyeing the bag of sugar suspiciously. "What exactly does sugar do?"

"Nothing you don't do already," Artemis said. "Thus my worries."

Jarlaxle grinned. "So it enhances my behavior?"


"Then what then?"

Artemis scowled at him. "It makes people hyperactive, prone to random bursts of laughter, and inspires stupid behavior."

"I don't have stupid behavior," Jarlaxle said. "That's certainly something I wouldn't want to start."

Artemis stared at him.

"Is it addictive?"

"Stupid behavior? Judging by most of the human race, yes."

"I meant sugar," Jarlaxle said.

"Also yes."

Jarlaxle looked worried. "Do you thinkā€¦?"

The assassin rolled his eyes. "No. I stopped you before you got started."

"Oh." Jarlaxle smiled, though he still looked a little nonplussed. "Then I owe you much."

"You have no idea," Artemis muttered.

Jarlaxle looked at him curiously. "Why would sugar be lying around a kitchen?"

"Humans like to add it to their food," Artemis said. "They don't seem to care about its affects."

Jarlaxle looked worried again. "Then I have to watch what I eat as long as I am staying in your city." He paused. "Is there a ring that can detect sugar?"

"I'm sure you could make one." Artemis resisted the urge to snort.

Jarlaxle rubbed his chin. "I'll have Kimmuriel get right on it. I'll have to equip all of my associates to ensure our safety."

Artemis only smirked when he was alone in the kitchen again.