A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to get the next story up. I promise you won't have to wait so long next time because i'm almost done with it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts in any shape or form no matter how much I wish Riku were mine...
Boy's Night Out/ Larxene's Revenge
"I still don't understand why we can't go too," Demyx whined aloud.
"You don't?" Larxene asked incredulously, cackling loudly. Like a witch. "How do you not understand? You and Axel went crazy during the last Nobody's Conference."
"Oh come on. We weren't that bad," Axel said.
"Yes," Luxord said, "you were."
"Since when does running around the conference room throwing globs of wet toilet paper at each other constitute as not that bad?" Xemnas asked, entering the hall. "You two were a disgrace. Which is why you're not going this year."
"Humph!" Demyx sighed grumpily, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I don't understand why I don't get to go," Zexion muttered. "Last year, I sat there calmly and even told the cretins to stop running around like idiots."
"I'm truly sorry for that, Zexion, but I cannot let you go and not Axel. He's older that you and it wouldn't be fair if I let you go and not him," Xemnas replied calmly.
"I didn't want to go anyway," Axel said childishly.
"You did too," Demyx said, ruffling the redheads fried locks.
"So, if I'm to understand this correctly, I can't go because these two bozos can't control themselves even though I outrank them both and we never age."
"I can't go either," Roxas said faintly from the corner. Everyone looked over, a little startled. Most of the time everyone simply forgot about the Organization's youngest and newest member because he rarely spoke.
Zexion was consoled a little that that he wasn't stuck with two morons and Lexaeus, their meathead babysitter. A babysitter wouldn't be needed if they just locked Demyx and Axel in the basement. Problem solved.
Why Lexaeus had actually volunteered to stay and babysit was beyond Zexion.
"See," Xemnas said in his usual polite, but sadistic manner. "Roxas cannot go either, even though he's probably more mature that most of the Organization.
Zexion merely stared at the Superior with his one uncovered eye. "Xigbar get to go and we don't."
Xigbar, hearing his name, looked up from his Gameboy, smiling moronically. Zexion rolled his eyes. It was going to be a long night.
A half-hour later, the five of them were sitting in Castle Oblivion's parlor, a fire (started by Axel) roaring in the fireplace. Zexion had wanted to retire to his room with a good book, but Lexaeus, who outranked even Zexion, insisted they all stay in the room together where he could keep an eye on them.
It was a harsh and severe punishment to defy a superior's direct orders. Which was why it sucked having Xigbar as number 2. He was always having them do incredibly stupid thinks like clip his toenails and eat them. Most of the time Xemnas just ordered them all to ignore whatever comes from Xigbar's mouth, but if he forgot, you were in for a long day.
Lexaeus handed each of the four deemed to young (or immature) to go to the conference a green bottle called Weapon Shine! and a rag. He instructed them on hot to polish his swords (and let me tell you, Lexaeus had a lot of swords) and that was what they were to do for the rest of the night. Polish.
At one point, Zexion looked up to find Lexaeus' back turned and Axel dumping white powder into Lexaeus' bottle of Propel Fitness Water. For one wild second, he thought the powder was cocaine. But if Axel had coke, he wouldn't be wasting it on Lexaeus, that's for sure. Axel quickly screwed the cap back on, shook it up a bit, and sat back down just a Lexaeus was turning back around.
Several minutes later, Zexion heard the telltale sound of Lexaeus' overly large head connecting with the coffee table in front of him. Roxas quickly stood up, rushing over to number 5s unconscious form. "What did you put in his water?" he asked a bit hysterically.
"It was just crushed up sleeping pills," Axel replied nonchalantly. Demyx laughed gleefully and Zexion tossed the sword he'd been working on aside. If Axel was going to drug a superior, Zexion figured he might as well take advantage of it.
"Axel, that was pretty stupid," Zexion said, putting his required two-cents worth in.
"Yeah, I know," the redhead agreed. "Now follow me please."
Curious, Demyx and Zexion got up at once and followed Axel to the door, but Roxas lingered, looking down worriedly at their 'babysitter."
Axel, noticing Roxas' reluctance, stopped and said, "He's okay, Roxas. I only used two pills." Somewhat reassured, he took a step foreword, then stopped.
"We can't leave this room. Lexaeus gave us a direct order to stay here."
"Roooxxxxxasssssss!" Demyx whined. "We'll only get in trouble if we get caught."
"Yeah," Axel agreed. "As long as we're back here before he wakes up, we'll be fine."
"I suppose you're right," Roxas said, following the other three out the door. They stopped in Axel's room, eyeing the newly purchased items.
"You planned this?" Demyx asked with awe.
"Sure did," Axel replied with a grin. Sitting on the floor were dozens of rolls of toilet paper, packages of fireworks, and four black pant and shirt outfits, complete with scary Halloween masks.
"Let's get changed boys, we're going out!"
For the first time since he'd become a Nobody, Zexion felt like being childish and immature. Usually he worked so hard at being aloof, but it would be a waste if he acted that way tonight. He tossed the roll of toilet paper over a high branch. The paper caught and the roll tumbled over the other side of the branch.
At first, it had been hard convincing Roxas to truly partake in the tp-ing, but now that he got the hang of it, he was tossing those rolls like a pro, for once truly acting like a fifteen year old kid.
The four quickly ran out of toilet paper and moved on the fireworks. Suprisingly enough, it had been Roxas' idea to toss the stink bombs into open windows. Usually he was so considerate of others it was almost sickening, but not now. Now, it was like he was a wild-child, hall hath no fury like a teen cooped up inside himself too long. Or something like that.
It wasn't long before the fireworks, too, ran out. "I've got an idea," Demyx said as they grudgingly trudged back to Castle Oblivion.
"What?" Roxas asked eagerly. It was like the kid was getting high from the excitement, Zexion sure thought so.
"Well, I know we've all questioned the sexuality of out fellow Organization members at one point or another," Demyx began.
"What do you mean?" Axel asked, worried and throwing Roxas a look before quickly looking away.
"Like with Marluxia, everyone knows he's gay. Or at least bi. But what about some of the others? Like Xaldin or Xigbar. I think we should find out."
"What, like sneak into their rooms or something?" Roxas asked.
"Yeah, that's exactly what I mean."
Axel grinned evilly.
Once they got back inside the castle, they checked on Lexaeus. He was still out cold. They changed back into their robes and proceeded to Xigbar's room, who didn't even bother to lock the door.
Zexion went to the computer, figuring that if there was incriminating evidence to be found, it would be there. He first went to the files and saw that there was a file labeled 'Roxas.' Curious, he clicked on it and gasped. Picture after picture of a naked Roxas appeared on the screen, most of them shower shots.
"No fucking way!" Axel said, looking over Zexion's shoulder.
"What?" Demyx asked, looking up from the Playgirls he found under Xigbar's mattress. "Oh shit!"
Roxas, hearing his companions, looked over at the computer and paled. Faintly, he muttered, "I'm never going to shower again."
"Man, Roxas," Axel said, leaning in close to the monitor. "You've got a really nice-"
"If you finish that sentence, Axel, I will kill you. Painfully," Roxas said seriously. After a moment, he turned to Zexion and hissed, "Delete it!"
"Won't Xiggy notice?" Demyx asked.
"I doubt it," Zexion replied honestly. "I'm surprised he even knows how to turn a computer on. He'll probably just think he accidentally deleted it last time he looked at it." Roxas groaned at Zexion's last words.
"Are there any files of the rest of us?" Axel asked, clearly disappointed that the pictures of the nude Roxas were gone.
Zexion scrolled through the rest of them, not finding any with a specific name on them. There was, however, one labeled 'Me and X.' Zexion clicked on it. After seeing what it contained, squeaked, "I am scared for life!"
There, on the screen, were pictures of Xigbar with no other than Xaldin, in several different positions, some not so very natural. "I always did think they were close..." Demyx trailed off, shuddering.
Zexion closed out of it before he puked.
"Well, now we know Xaldin and Xiggy are gay, who's room do we hit up next?" Axel asked, looking over at Roxas who still looked quite traumatized at seeing himself naked on another person's computer.
The four thought for a moment before Demyx looked up, grinning. "Larxene."
The other three stared at him, questioning every aspect of his sanity or thereof. "Are. You. Crazy?" Zexion asked finally. "If she catches us, she'll chop off our nuts, roast them, and eat 'em while we bleed to death."
"Only if she catches us."
"I don't think she will, not if we're sneaky," Demyx insisted, glancing at his watch. "Besides, it's only midnight and they're not going to be back until late tomorrow."
"That's not what I'm worried about," Zexion said seriously. "Lexaeus could wake up at any time. Axel only gave him two sleeping pills."
"Actually," Axel began sheepishly, "it was more like five."
"What?!" Roxas and Zexion said at the same time.
"You said it was only two. You could kill him!"
"Have you seen how big he is?" Axel asked as if we were all as nitwitted as he was being right now. "Five sleeping pills will not kill him. Hell, I take four every night."
"And you never make it out of bed until three in the afternoon," Roxas pointed out.
"That's because Xigbar makes breakfast and Larxene and Marluxia eat lunch. I can't believe you guys actually eat the food that they cook!"
"We don't," Zexion said.
"What do you mean?"
"Roxas has one of those little stove things in his room so we just make our food in there," Demyx said.
"I've never seen it when I've been in your room," Axel whined to Roxas.
Roxas rolled his eyes. "That's because I hide in just in case the Superior comes into my room."
"You've never invited me to breakfast," Axel pouted.
"Get up before nine o'clock and maybe I will."
"Okay!" he said, suddenly cheerful. "I solemnly swear I shall never take another sleeping pill as long as Roxas cooks me breakfast."
"So," Demyx interrupted, "are we going into Larxene's room or not?"
The other three looked at each other. Roxas sighed, "I'm in."
"If Roxy boy's in, then I am," Axel said, grinning.
"We're going to get caught," Zexion sighed, shaking his head. "I know we're going to get caught, but I'm in."
Five minutes later, after leaving Xigbar's room the way it was when he left it, now with a certain file erased even from the recycle bin, they stood outside Larxene's door. Demyx tried the knob and grinned. "She didn't even lock it."
"That's because no one is stupid enough to go into Larxene's room," Zexion said.
"Except us," Roxas added, looking glum.
Demyx turned the knob the rest of the way and pushed the door open. The four walked into the room. "Piece of cake," he said.
Axel walked over to the light switch and flipped it. The lights came on, but that wasn't all. Dozens of thin red laser beams only centimeters from each other now blocked the door and the two windows.
"Do you think they're real?" Axel asked.
"I don't know, throw something at them," Demyx shrugged, not yet worried as he should have been.
Axel picked up one of Larxene's shoes, a black velvet pump, and threw it at the lasers. It disintegrated on the spot. "We. Are. So. Fucked."
Hours later, when Larxene finally opened her bedroom door accompanied by Lexaeus, she screeched, "I found them." The rest of the Organization quickly showed up, looking at them through the red beams.
"What are we going to do with them?" Marluxia asked, an amused expression gracing his face.
"I don't know yet," Xemnas said in careful contemplation.
"They're going to pay, that's what they're going to do," Lexaeus said menacingly. "They left Weapon Shine! on my swords and stained them!"
Larxene ignored this. "They invaded my fucking room and destroyed my favorite shoes. Oh yeah, they're going to pay."
"This is cruel and unusual punishment," Axel said as he stood on the platform with Zexion, Demyx, and Roxas. "Cruel and unusual."
"Can it, Axel," Xemnas said, losing patience. "I'm sick of hearing your views on your punishment. You disobeyed direct orders and now you have to pay the consequences."
"But why does Larxene have to pick our punishment. I mean, can't someone else?" Demyx asked fearfully.
"I think it's only fair that I get to pick your punishment," Larxene cackled gleefully. "Now strip!"
"What did you say?" Roxas asked, glancing quickly at Xigbar. He did not want to take his clothes off in front of Xigbar. Or Axel for that matter.
"I said strip! Now do it!"
Glancing at each other, the four began to undress, tossing their robes on the ground.
"Ah, yes," Xigbar said happily, staring at the now naked Roxas. "Just like I remember."
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Leave me a review and let me know what you think. If you don't, the next story might contain Xaldin. In detail. Undressing. (shudders)