Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.
(A.N: For Flowers of Paper. Thanks for giving me this plotbunny to play with, I hope you like the way it turned out.)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hellos
By Silver Sailor Ganymede
The world, Yomi reasoned, must have been coming to an end. After all, what else could make Takino Tomo, their resident wildcat shut up for more than five milliseconds? Well it was either the world coming to an end or Lupin being cancelled, and for a moment Yomi found herself hoping it was the former rather than the latter; Lupin 3rd, cancelled? Never!
Shifting her thoughts back to her friend, Yomi fixed her gaze on Tomo, who let out a more mournful sigh than Yomi would ever have thought possible of her, the slumped down onto the kotatsu as though she had died. Normally Yomi would have been furious with Tomo for acting like this during a study session, but today she was just worried…
"It's terrible," Tomo's woeful tones seemed to permeate the entire room with misery; she was still loud even when she was this upset, though what had caused Tomo to become like this she had no idea. "It's terrible!"
"What's terrible, Tomo-chan?" Chiyo, who was obviously as concerned as Yomi was, asked as she set some tea down on the table in front of them: Tomo just sighed again in response.
"Maybe the aliens got her," Osaka mused, earning a look from Kagura.
"Don't be daft, Osaka," the athletic girl muttered. "She's just worried because her exams aren't far away."
"Tomo? Worry about exams?" Yomi scoffed. "That can't be it. She didn't even worry about her high school entrance exams!"
Tomo sighed again, then looked up at them all and held a book up in the air, "I know how it ends!"
"How can you know how the Harry Potter series ends?" Yomi raised an eyebrow. "You haven't even opened it; and even Chiyo hasn't finished it yet. Anyway aren't we supposed to be studying now?"
Tomo plainly wasn't listening to a word Yomi was saying though. "I can't believe it," she wailed. "Such a stupid way for him to die!"
"Don't spoil the end of the book," Kagura snapped, but Tomo wasn't listening to her any more than she had been to Yomi.
"Such a stupid way for Harry…" ("Shut up!" Kagura snapped.) "to die! Voldemort just says 'hello' to him and he drops down dead! After all the powerful magic and stuff, Voldemort just says 'hello' to him and he drops down dead!"
Yomi shot Tomo a confused look. "Have you even read the book yet, Tomo?"
Tomo shook her head, "No, but what else could it be? I mean the book's called 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hellos'!"
There was stunned silence for a moment, then everyone except Tomo (and of course Osaka, who was staring out of the window and muttering something about cheesecake and flamingos under her breath) burst out laughing.
"What?" Tomo snapped, obviously affronted.
"It's Hallows, Tomo, not Hellos!" Kagura sniggered. "Even I knew that."
Yomi just rolled her eyes, wondering whether she was the only sane person left on the planet.
"Well I was right about one thing," Yomi muttered to herself. "Tomo will never be able to read kanji properly. Deathly 'Hellos' indeed…"