How Daniel Met Vala: The Alternative Scenarios

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 are not my property, if they were I would have found a way to renew it into an eleventh season and beyond.

A/N: Like to thank MilenaD and gioiagg for suggesting I give this writing thing a go. So been toying around with the idea of other ways Daniel could have been introduced to our favourite space pirate. This one's kind of longer than I expected, but I guess it works. Just don't expect any of my other first meetings to be this long.


Daniel groaned as he picked himself up off the floor where he had been gracelessly thrown. Looking around the rather darkened cell he couldn't help but groan again over his situation.

"Maybe Jack's right, I really should learn to just keep my mouth shut sometimes," he mumbled to himself. Taking another quick look at his cell, he decided that he might as well make himself comfortable until the team showed up to rescue him. With that thought in mind he proceeded to the cot in the corner to sit down.

As he moved to sit down, Daniel failed to notice the figure stirring on the cot. He also failed to notice as the figure suddenly shot out a leg and struck him in the back. Already off balance, Daniel went flying forward onto his hands and knees. As he looked up, his attacker moved quickly towards him.

"Did you really think I would just lay there while you tried to have your way with me!" Demanded the figure, who Daniel had just now realised was female.

Realising what she thought he was attempting to do he began to protest, "No wait you don't…" but was quickly silenced by a boot to the head. Groaning at the contact, Daniel barely kept himself from falling completely to the ground. After several more failed attempts at communication, and several more bruises, Daniel finally decided to go on the defensive.

Daniel's fist lashed out and struck his target, his follow up strike however was deflected and he received a knee to the gut. As he doubled over in pain, he received an uppercut to the face and he collapsed to the floor. Seconds later he opened his eyes as he felt a sudden weight on his chest. He froze as he realised the position he was suddenly in. His opponent's thighs were holding his head in place as she leaned over him a dark look on her face.

Her hand suddenly clamped onto his jaw as she glared at him. "You had better answer my questions or this," she made a gesture with her other hand, "is as close to a woman as you'll ever get to in your very short life! Do you understand?" She demanded.

Daniel could only uncomfortably nod his head.

"Good boy," she said. "Now how many guards are there? When are they coming back? And where are the keys to the cell?" At the look of confusion she received, she sighed and continued, "you don't have to answer them in order, just talk!" She emphasised with a squeeze on his jaw.

"Mphh…mphh," Daniel could only mumble in his position, as he hoped the rest of the team would arrive soon to rescue him from this mad woman. He quickly hoped otherwise though as he suddenly remembered the position he was in.

"Oh sorry, I forgot," his captor stated as she released her hand from his jaw, "now talk!"

"Not guard….prisoner." Daniel wheezed out in between breaths.

"Prisoner?" The woman said as she took a closer look at him and the parts of his uniform that were visible. "If you're a prisoner, then why did you act like those despicable guards?" At his confused look, she continued with a glare, "you Mr. Not a guard, were trying to get into my bed!"

At the accusation, Daniel quickly stammered out an explanation, "No, no it's all a misunderstanding, I just wanted to sit down. I didn't see you, I swear!"

"Oh.. well I suppose that's possible," the woman said as she leaned back a little, "well than, I guess I should apologise for beating you up," she finished lightly with an amused smile.

"Yeah, uh…no problem, could you please get off me now!"

"Well, I don't know…I am quite comfortable, and you may still try to ravage me"

"Don't worry I'll control myself!" Daniel stated as he glared up at the woman, "now if you could please get off me!"

"Oh alright…spoilsport." Slowly getting up, the woman made a show of dusting herself off before offering a hand to Daniel.

Looking at it suspiciously for a moment, Daniel took it and allowed her to pull him up. Unfortunately, when she did so, his weight unbalanced her and they both collapsed onto the cot.

"Well now Darling I see you couldn't control yourself after all, very well then ravage away," she said as she threw her head back.

"Ah, no thanks," Daniel said as he quickly got up and moved to the other side of the cell. Really what was with this woman he thought to himself.

"Oh really Darling there's no need to be shy, come on there's plenty of room to sit," she stated as she patted the spot beside her, "Don't worry I won't bite, that is unless you want me to that is!"

"That's o.k. really, I feel like standing, work out a few of the kinks you know"

"Whatever you say darling," the woman said as she laid down on her side, "so are you going to introduce yourself? I mean it is the less you could do after trying to crawl into my bed," she asked with a grin.

"Daniel Jackson," he replied with a roll of his eyes. "And you?"

"Vala Mal Doran ."

"Well Vala, nice to meet you…I guess, so what are you in for?"

Vala sat up as she spoke, "well the locals took it as an affront when I tried to retrieve a little trinket from their local alter."

"You're a thief !" Daniel stated as he stared at her.

"I prefer the term acquisitions specialist thank you very much, and besides its not like they were using it for anything important." Vala stated as she leaned back against the wall.

"Nothing important, it was a religious item!" Daniel cried out in disbelief.

"Yes to a false god, who stole it from someone else, someone else who is willing to pay a finders fee for its return, so excuse me for not taking its religious importance seriously."

"But that shouldn't matter, its still important to these people, it's a part of their culture."

Waving her hand, "Yes, yes whatever you say darling," Vala stated, "so what innocent crime are you in for then? Certainly not for removing cultural items I'll assume."

"Uh…well I uh," Daniel stated hesitantly, which only spurred Vala's interest.

"I didn't quite get that, could you speak up darling."

Sighing Daniel leaned his head back against the wall and muttered, "I tried to tell them their gods were a parasitic race of impostors."

"Ah…so you're a heretic then! You know Daniel you really shouldn't dispute a people's religion. They tend to get… violent when you do."

"It's not the same thing…you were stealing and I was trying to tell them the truth!"

"Well, technically you were trying to steal their faith, and considering we both don't take much stock in the goa'uld as gods," she said with a look of revulsion, "I think that makes us pretty equal on their list of offences, don't you?"

"Guess your right." He mused, "We are pretty much in the same boat," he stated. Seeing Vala's look of confusion, he elaborated, "it means were in the same situation."

"Oh alright then. So any ideas on how to get out of here?"

"Well I was thinking of waiting for my team to come bust me out of here, when you…." Suddenly Daniel remembered why she had attacked him. "When you jumped me, you thought I was one of the guards. Have you.., I mean have they…"

Realising what he was asking, Vala shook her head, "no but a couple of them have been insinuating it, I figured one of them finally got up the nerve to try something."

"Then we can't just wait around for my friends in case the bastards do work up the nerve!" Daniel stated as he moved to sit next to Vala. "So any ideas?"

"Not really, you pretty much saw my first plan. With you in here there'll probably be more than one guard when they check in, so we'll have to find some way to distract them."

"That's a given," Daniel said with a nod, "the question is how?"

Vala looked Daniel up and down before replying with a grin, "Well we could give them a show."

Shooting her a glare, "Would you stop doing that! This is serious!"

"Oh don't I know it, we are after all trying to come up with a way to defend my honour." Vala replied flippantly.

Daniel winced at the reminder. "Sorry it's just that you don't seem too concerned about what might happen."

Vala simply shrugged as she stared at the wall in front of her. "I've simply learned that unpleasant things happen to people," she said with a bitter smile, "there's no use stressing about it," turning to him she smiled brightly, "doesn't mean that I'm going to go quietly though!"

Daniel couldn't help but stare at the woman beside him, as he wondered exactly what had happened to her in the past to give her such an outlook on life. Before he could voice his question, they both turned to the cell door as noises were heard outside. Without thinking Daniel suddenly reached out and grabbed Vala's head. The stunned expression on her face quickly disappeared as he brought his lips to hers. As the kiss deepened, they both failed to notice the cell door open, as well as the three figures that stood gawking at the doorway.

Several Minutes Earlier

"Carter are you sure this is where they took Daniel?" Asked Jack O'Neill as he quickly scanned the building.

"Yes sir. I followed them at a distance when they took him a way, but this is the place!"

"Works for me." Replied Jack, and then turning to the third member of their rescue party, he asked, "Teal'c whatcha find out?"

"It indeed appears likely that DanielJackson was brought to this location," Teal'c replied. "There are two guards in the main room, they appear to be inebriated." He finished with a mixed look of disgust and distain.

"All the better for us. We go in zat the guards, grab Daniel and his gear, head straight for the gate, dial home and be back for dinner! Any questions? No. Good, lets go rescue Spacemonkey." With that, Jack O'Neill drew his zat and proceeded towards the building, Sam and Teal'c close behind him.


"You know that was disgustingly easy," voiced Jack as they moved towards the cells.

"Indeed," replied Teal'c with a nod.

Carter just shook her head at her CO's commentary.

"Right here we are," Jack announced as he moved to throw open the cell door. "Daniel were here to…" the rest of his retort died on his lips as he and the rest of SG-1 came upon the sight of their resident archaeologist locked in a passionate kiss with an unknown woman.

Shaken off his stupor, Jack turned to the rest of SG-1, "Why does he get to have the nice interrogation techniques on him?"

The rest of the team remained silent as they continued to stare at the scene before them, as the two made no move to acknowledge their audience.

After a about minute with no sign of the two coming up for air, Jack cleared his throat, when they failed to notice that, he shook his head and proceed to call out Daniel's name.

"Daniel…hello, Daniel…Hey DANIEL!"

The two quickly sprung apart as they became aware of their audience. Daniel seeing who it was quickly looked away as the heat rushed to his face. Suddenly realising that he still had an arm around Vala's waist, he quickly let go and turned to his teammates.

Vala simply looked on in amusement as Daniel greeted his friends.

"Jack…Ah…hey guys...a…this really isn't what it looks like," Daniel stammered.

"Oh really," Jack said slowly with a smile, "cause it looks like you were busy getting it on with the lovely lady," he finished with a nod at Vala, who returned it with a smile.

"I was not…it was meant to be a distraction for the guards when they came back!" Daniel retorted with a glare at Jack.

"Right, well I have to admit it sure did look pretty distracting, wouldn't you say so guys?" Jack asked his other teammates.

"Yes sir!"


Both Sam and Teal'c replied at the same time, the former while trying and failing to contain the grin threatening to spread across her face.

"It was Vala's idea!" Daniel ground out as he shifted his glare over to his two other teammates.

"Actually, as I recall," Vala began with a wide grin as the glare was suddenly directed at her, "I said we should put on a show, which you disagreed with...the next thing I know," she continued as the glare intensified, "you were trying to devour me with your mouth!"

"I was not, it was a simple kiss nothing more. Its not my fault if your hormones decided to take advantage of the situation." Daniel retorted.

Jack simply looked between the two with a growing smirk. He hadn't SEEN Daniel this flustered in awhile. She really knew how to push his buttons. He was beginning to like this woman. His smirk got even wider as he caught her retort to Daniel's statement.

"Excuse me, my hormones," Vala exclaimed, "I'll have you know that I was lips, you were tongue in that little exchange!"

"Wha…wha…" Daniel sputtered as he tried to come up with a response.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, Sam chuckled and Jack simply shook his head in amusement.

"Alright kids," Jack decided to put an end to things, "enough is enough. Now Daniel, unless you want us to come back for you and your girlfriend," he grinned as Daniel gave him a death glare, "I suggest we get going, after all this is a jail break." When Daniel failed to say anything, Jack turned to Vala, "Now Vala was it?" At her nod he continued,

"Well Vala your welcome to come with us." He only grinned more, boy was his mouth starting to hurt was the thought running through his mind, as Daniel increased his glare.

"Thank you Jack don't mind if I do, after all Daniel and I still have to get to know each other," Vala answered with a cheeky smile at Daniel.

Daniel could only blink as Jack led them out of the cell. He muttered a groan as he caught their conversation.

"That's Carter and Teal'c, we'll be glad to fill you in on old Danny boy as we head to the gate."

The only thought that passed through Daniel's mind as he trudged along after them was that his life was about to get either a lot more exciting or a lot more hectic.

"Hurry along darling," Vala's voice called back to him.

"Yeah darling, move it." Jack added sarcastically.

Sighing once more, he figured it be most likely the latter as he moved to catch up with the others.