Kappa Mikey:

Kappa Mikey:

Snarkymen Fever

Part 6

By Emerald

"Guanomon? Guanomon, please wake up." Mario said, bending over Guano's still body. As he spoke, the director's head began to lift as he recovered from yet another beating.

"Great, you woke up! Did you learn the Molotov Cocktail attack yet?" Luigi asked excitedly.

"No, I did not learn the Molotov Cocktail attack yet!" Guano shouted, trying to lift himself off the ground unsuccessfully.

"Lousy, good for nothing Technical Machine!" Luigi complained, kicking the car engine and almost breaking his foot. Then the car engine started up and drove away, without being attached to a car.

"Were in big trouble, Guanomon. Zombies are everywhere, and they could come for us any time!" Mario interjected, though the zombies were actually too afraid of the boys to come close to them. "We need you to transform."

"Oh no, not again! The last time I did you kids almost killed me!" Guano refused, as he tried standing up for himself one last time.

"No, you don't understand. There are other ways we can transform you!" Mario said eagerly, with power hungry eyes.

"They're called mystic stones!" Luigi finished his brothers thought. Then he dropped a huge pile of rocks at Guano's feet. "These ones here are moon stones. They'll make you transform into something different than last time!"

"You're not going to hit me over the head with those too, are you?!" Guano back up fearfully, fearing another TM type incident.

"Of course not dummy." Mario laughed, and Guano gave a sigh of relief.

"We're going to feed them to you!" Luigi said. His brother quickly held their Snarkyman down, and then Luigi started shoving rocks down Guano's throat.


"Oh my God. That was so…. violent." Mitsuki exclaimed as she stood outside, looking around at the carnage that surrounded the pizza shop. It was 8:00pm, and bloody limbs and headless bodies lay as far as the eye could see.

"Yeah, there's no way they could have shown that on a Nickelodeon. Not even in a PG rated fan fiction." Gonard said, wearing a hair piece he had pulled off of a dead zombie. It was green and smelled like hell incarnate, but he didn't notice.

As the sun finished its descent, the silhouettes of two figures could be seen walking towards them. One of them carried a blade that dragged across the street, and the other held a gun up in the air.

"Mikey!" Mitsuki cried. He heard her, and they both began to run towards each other. When they finally met in the middle of the street, they embraced passionately.

"Oh Mikey, I'm so glad you're alive." Mitsuki said through her tears, voice full of emotion. She didn't bother asking if he had won the bet or not; all of a sudden that seemed unimportant. All that mattered was that he was alive.

"I'm happy if your happy, Mitsuki." Mikey replied, hugging her tightly and hoping she didn't notice that…

"Eww, Mikey. You're totally getting zombie blood all over Mitsuki!" Gonard said, but even he could not break the moment this time. However, Yes-man's shrill voice was certainly able to.

"THE GAME IS OVER!" Yes-man shouted, frightening Mikey and Mitsuki out of their hug. Everyone stared at the nut job, including Steve, who had by now reached the rest of the group. They all waited for the yes man to continue, but he just kept staring at them with a stupid smile on his face. Thirty seconds passed.

"Well, who won?" Mikey finally asked, voicing the concerns of everyone present.

"WELL, LET'S SEE!" Yes-man lifted up his other sleeve, where he had carved pictures of Mikey and Steve, and underneath there were many marks. Then he tore off one of his pant legs and began to add. "ADD 1, CARRY THE FIVE, DIVIDE BY PI…"

The Mikey and Mitsuki crossed their fingers, and Gonard started eating handfuls of grass nervously. Steve stood still with a confident look on his face. Yes-man continued to carve away with a needle until he found out the winner.

"MIKEY SIMON WINS!" the answer suddenly came, to the shock and surprise of everyone present.

"Hooray!" the LilyMu team rejoiced. A jet that just happened to by flying over head dropped zombie-poison confetti onto the street. The entire town opened their windows and applauded the winner. Fifty of them fell out their windows.

"IT HURTS SO MUCH!" Yes-man shrieked as his arms and leg bled profusely. Everyone continued to clap.

"A bet is a bet, Mikey Simon." Steve said, looking at the orange haired warrior with respect. Then he turned to Mitsuki, and pulled out Mr. Featherbottom from behind his back. "I believe this belongs to you."

"Thank you." Mitsuki said, taking her precious stuffed animal-type-thing and hugging it tightly. She looked at Mikey and smiled, and he smiled back.

"Hey, where's Guano?" Gonard suddenly asked, and everyone looked at him. They couldn't remember the last time they had seen their director, or Lily for that matter.


"Okay, I'm starting to think that transforming him into a rock Snarkyman wasn't a good idea either." Mario said as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully and looked at his captive. Guano's entire body was filled with stones of various shapes and sizes, giving him the appearance of a large purple rock with a face and tiny arms.

"I…can't…move." Guano struggled to talk through the pebbles that cluttered his throat.

"Okay, let's get rid of them then." Luigi said as he picked up Guano with abnormal strength and carried him on his back. He climbed up a mountain, which just happened to be located in the park, and dropped the living sack of rocks from the summit.

"Ouch. But you gotta do what ya gotta do." Mario winced as his Guanomon repeatedly hit his body on the side of the mountain, the rocks inside him breaking up with every collision. By the time he had reached the bottom, the rocks were in such tiny pieces that they wouldn't bother him again. At least, until he had to go to the bathroom.

"Look kids, it's almost ten o'clock. Can I please go home now?" Guano asked patiently while lying face-down on the ground. By now he had gotten used to the constant torment that he was being forced to go through.

"No!" the twins replied in unison.

"Crap." He swore.

"Guano, is that you?" came a voice from across the park. The twins and Guano looked up to see two bloody figures advancing towards them in the darkness.

"Oh no, it's the zombies! Quick Guanomon, eat this fire stone!" Mario sputtered, holding out a super-heated coal to his pet. Guano refused though, seeing the 'zombies' for what they really were.

"Mikey, Mitsuki! I'm saved!" Guano shouted, running over to his friends, and ducking as a passing eagle tried to grab him in its talons.

"Hey Guano, what'cha been up to?" Mikey asked as his diminutive buddy latched onto his leg for dear life.

"Mikey, it was terrible! They beat me up, made me fight wild animals, tried to drown me, forced me to eat rocks, and then they sold my Snarkyman card for 1000 and I didn't even get any of the royalties!" Guano cried on Mikey leg, wetting the dried blood.

"What do you think you're doing?! That's our Snarkyman! You can't have him, you brain dead zombies!" Luigi yelled, he and his brother running over and grabbing Guano by the tail of his costume and yanking hard. The grip was strong, however, and Mikey's pants would have been ripped off sooner than Guano letting go.

"Stop it you two!" Mitsuki scolded as Mikey picked up Guano. The twins were still hanging on to the tail, and were lifted into the air.

"He's ours, we caught him legally!" Luigi said, pulling out a Snarkymen hunting license from his wallet. "He's not over the size limit, either!"

"I don't think these two are going to let go, Mitsuki." Mikey struggled against the combined weight of the Tatami twins. He was considering threatening them with his gun, which would have been a very bad idea, when Mario spoke.

"You can't have our Guanomon unless you trade us another Snarkyman for him!" Mario said, kicking Mikey in the crotch. Simon's eyes bugged out, but he did not release Guano.

"A trade, you say?" Mitsuki asked slyly. She pulled Mr. Featherbottom from behind her back. "Would you trade for this 'Snarkyman'?"

"Mitsuki," Mikey began to ask, but he was shushed. Mitsuki winked at him as the twins considered the deal.

"Well, Guanomon does kinda stink at everything. And while your Snarkyman may be inanimate, I'm willing to bet that it's a better fighter too." Mario weighed the costs and benefits carefully.

"Hey!" Guano complained. Then he remembered that he wanted to be traded away, and decided to shut his mouth.

"We'll take it!" Luigi said, and the twins let go of the tail. Then Mitsuki carefully handed over her most precious possession to the boys, who she suspected would ruin it in the next five minutes.

"Yes! I've caught…!" Mario began to say, and then he paused to do a short, one minute long disco dance, "A Pudgyeoto!"

"Take care of it him now, understand?" Mitsuki asked. The boys didn't listen to her though, already busy looking for a knife and scissors to cut Featherbottom open with. She sighed, and then looked at Guano as Mikey put him down. "C'mon Guano, let's go home."

"Alright! See you in heck, Tatami twins!" Guano yelled back at the twins one last time. They gave him an angry glare, which sent him running as fast as he could for LilyMu studios. Mikey and Mitsuki followed him at a long distance as they too headed back to the studio. They still had an episode to finish, after all.

"I can't believe you traded Mr. Featherbottom to those two brats, after all we did to get it back." Mikey spoke up once they were out of the twins hearing range.

"My friends are a little more important to me than anything I own, Mikey. And besides, I've realized something." Mitsuki said, looking sideways at Mikey as they walked. "I don't need Mr. Featherbottom. I have you."

"Thank you." Mikey said embarrassedly. There was awkward silence for a few moments, and then crickets got in a fire fight over who could make the least noise. "But you know, I kinda killed over fifty undead monsters to get that thing back for you. Doesn't it seem sort of silly to just give it away?"

"Actually, it does." Mitsuki replied, realizing that she hadn't thought her plan through very well.

"Gonna go back for it?" Mikey asked.

"Yes, I am." She answered, and then she ran back to steal her stuffed companion from the twins using her elite spy skills.



"What's so funny, Gonard? I've got you trapped, and there's no where for you to run." Mikey yawned, attempting to point dramatically at his foe, and trying not to fall asleep as he did so. Gonard was leaning against the wall in the blue alleyway, trying to remember his lines.

"Uhmm, yes. I do not have fleas! And if I did, they would not want to… leave." The words stumbled out of Gonard's mouth. He looked at Guano for direction, and he was told to just go along with it. Then Mitsuki, Lily, and Guano fell down from above, landing on their heads instead of their feet.

"What do you have up your sleeve, Gonard?" Mitsuki asked, shaking her fist angrily as she stood up.

"Guanomon, Guanomon!" Guano said absentmindedly, still stuck in Snarkyman mode.

"Oh, it is not what I have up my sleeve that's important, though even that could defeat you Lily Tools, but it's what I have in my…pocket! I mean, what I have behind me!" he pulled out a remote, pushed a button, and the wall behind him collapsed. In its place was a random zombie. Cast changes had needed to be made after the dragon was slain. Lily jumped in front of the camera.

"Oh no, it's a blood crazed zombie!" she squealed overdramatically.

"Yes, yes it is a zombie. Fear it! And such!" Gonard said while readjusting his new wig.

"Don't worry; I will protect us from this brain-dead menace!" Mikey said, pulling out the kappa katana and accidentally dropping it on the floor.

"Hold on Mikey, it's a stupid creature, not an evil one! Maybe we can befriend it!" Mitsuki growled, sounding angrier than she meant to be. She reached behind her and produced Mr. Featherbottom. "Here! It is a gift from us to you! Enjoy!"

The zombie was hit in the face with the stuffy, and then it collapsed to the floor and lay there. The cast looked at each other.

"Uhmm, uh, oh no! You have joined forces with the zombie against me!" Gonard ad-libbed. Then he picked up the body and threw it on his back. "Ow, ow! It is eating me painfully! You win this time LilyMu, but I'll be back!"

"And we'll be sleeping! I mean, waiting!" Mikey said as the camera zoomed in on his tired face.


"And cut!" Guano shouted. Immediately, the set was taken down and the actors stopped pretending to be interested in what they were doing. The zombie stood up and started to walk away with Feather bottom, but then its head was blown up with a shotgun blast. Mitsuki blew the smoke off the barrel of the weapon, and then picked up her doll.

"So, worst episode ever, huh?" Lily asked aloud, voicing everyone's thoughts.

"Worst episode of any show ever invented. But it's the best we can do." Guano said, keeping the film away from a hungry looking Gonard. He gave it to someone in the editing department and Gonard began to cry. "Alright, I'm going to the bathroom and then I'm going to bed. Goodnight, everyone."

"Goodnight Guano." The rest of the cast replied. Then they all stood around without talking for awhile. With nothing else to do, they all checked their watches simultaneously. It was twelve o' clock midnight.

"OMG, what a boring day." Lily said. Mikey and Mitsuki looked at her incredulously.

"Yeah, I guess if you don't count the rampaging dragon, the Tokyo wide riot, and the zombie apocalypse." Mitsuki replied sarcastically.

"Hey, it must not have been that bad if I slept throughout the whole thing." Lily said, forgetting that she had been supposed to be look for Featherbottom with the rest of them. Mike and Mits both shot Lily angry looks.

"OH GOD, OH GOD! THE STONES, THE STONES! THEY HURT SO MUCH!" Guano's pained screams came from the bathroom two stories below. This was followed by more words that a Nickelodeon censor would not permit.

"Eww, gross. Bathroom humor. I'm out of here." Lily said, and then she went off to go get even more sleep. The three remaining cast members looked around at each other, waiting for the assembly to disperse to eventually disperse.

"Did you know that there are more than 100 types of cheese in my bedroom right now?" Gonard asked the group. All he got in return was stares. He laughed nervously, and then ran towards the elevator because the situation was too awkward. Mikey and Mitsuki were alone now, except for a few wandering camera man and the censored screams of Guano. Mitsuki was going to ask Mikey what he was about to say in the pizza shop, but then he spoke up.

"You know, there's only one thing I don't get about this episode we just made." Mikey said, deflecting any serious conversations because he was too tired to deal with them at the moment.

"What's that, Mikey?" Mitsuki replied, not knowing where the conversation was going.

"In every other LilyMu episode we've made since I got here, we've always ended up changing the episode in the second or third take to reflect what we did during the day. Y'know, it's like we add a moral to the show that we've just learned. So what's this episode's moral supposed to be?" Mikey asked.

"Uhh, gee, I don't know. Friendship?" Mitsuki ventured. It was the only thing she could think of.

"But that doesn't really fit, because at the end of the day you stole your Mr. Featherbottom back, and in the end of the show you just sort of beaned that zombie in the head with it." Mikey said, defusing Mitsuki's answer.

"Maybe there isn't any deep meaning in the episode then." Mitsuki said, starting to walk towards the elevator along with Mikey.

"But then what is the end of the episode supposed to mean?" Mikey asked as the elevator entrance opened and they stepped inside.

"Well, I guess it just means that it's the end." Mitsuki answered. Then the doors closed.



Authors Notes: It's over. It's finally over! This is the first fan fiction I have ever completed and put online. I couldn't have done it without my fans. Yep, all two of them. Just kidding; I know there are many people who have read and enjoyed this story. A huge thank you to everyone that has read my story on the Kappa Mikey Fans website, the Black Wing Army, and .

Now that it's all over, I don't know what to say. I've become more attached to the LilyMu cast than ever before during the writing of this story, which has gone on for more than a year. I feel the need to work on a sequel as soon as possible.

But, this is the end for now. I have decided to leave all of the chapters separate like this, just so the reviews I have gotten do not go away. So, until I get to writing my next episode, this is goodbye. Please review and tell me what you thought of this story!