Let's Be Us Again

Rating: T and M in later chapters

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in this story except the original characters of Lucy, DJ, and Matthew Rabb along with Analise and Maggie O'Connor.

The title of this story is taken from a Lonestar song of the same name that I happen to love. Thanks for the great title, guys!

Summary: The sequel to Can We Ever Get Back To Before. This story will trace Harm and Mac's journey as they try to find their way back to each other, but as always nothing can be easy.

Author's Notes: Thanks to all who stayed the course with me in the long and painstaking journey that was Can We Ever Get Back to Before? I hope this sequel will draw the same response and bring to the readers the same enjoyment and emotional.

I originally planned to post this story August 1, but I had it ready earlier so I decided to post it. I'm presently working on two other stories, though I am thinking of putting one on hiatus. This story will be updated every 7-10 days.

Below is a timeline of the events that took place in Can We Ever Get Back to Before from Harm's initial affair to Matthew's birth.

August 2004: Harm's TAD to Mexico, Harm's encounter with Annie, Rabb famiy BBQ and conception of Harm and Mac's third baby

September 18, 2004: Rabbs run into Annie and Josh at the mall.

Sepember 30, 2004: Lucy's fifth birthday

October 8, 2004: Bud and Harm have beers at McMurphy's, Mac's miscarriage

October 11, 2004: Dr. Bradley suggests a hysterectomy, Annie tells Harm she is pregnant

October 15, 2004: Harm and Mac celebrate their sixth anniversary

October 18, 2004: Harm goes TAD to Philadelphia

October 20, 2004: Harm visits his grandma and decides to come clean to Mac

October 21, 2004: Mac confronts Harm about his affair

October 22, 2004: Harm goes to Bud and Harriet's for the night, Harriet goes to console Mac, Mac and Harm have their first conversation after the revelation

October 25, 2004: Harm's birthday, 1st appointment with Dr. McCool

October 29, 2004: Dinner date with Mic and Annie

October 30, 2004: Mac's doctor makes a house call, Mic learns about Mac's illness

November 8, 2004: 2nd session with Dr. McCool, dinner at Reds

Novembe 9, 2004: Meeting with Dr. Crimmins about Lucy's misbehavior, Harm leaves note about divorce and leave for quals

November 11, 2004: Grams dies

November 13, 2004: Grams' wake

November 14, 2004: Grams' burial, Harm and Mac reconcile

November 18, 2004: Harm and Mac report their reconcilliation to Dr. McCool

November 25, 2004: Thanksgiving with Trish and Frank, Mac's bleeding episode

Novmeber 26, 2004: Mac has minor procedure at hospital, Mic babysits

December 10, 2004: Mac's surgery

December 13, 2004: Mic brings Mac home from the doctor's and give her too many pain pills

December 14, 2004: Harm and Mac meet with Dr. Crimmins

December 24, 2004: Christmas Eve

December 25, 2004: Trish and Frank surprise family for Christmas

January 2, 2005: Trish and Frank leave for home

Januray 7, 2005: Harm and Bud have dinner and discuss Annie's pregnancy

January 14, 2005: Mac schedule for additional surgery

January 17, 2005: Mac has her operation, Annie has a bad fall, Mac orders Harm not to visit her in the hospital

January 21, 2005: Mac lets Harm take her home but relations strained

March 8, 2005: Harm moves to AJ's

May 6, 2005: Divorce papers served

May 9, 2005; Harm meet with his lawyer

May 11, 2005: DJ hurts his arm while out with Harm

May 18, 2005: Harm and Mac work out their divorce at Starbucks

June 15, 2005: Lucy's tonsillectomy, Harm and Mac file for sole custody

July 5, 2005: Court hearing begins

July 8, 2005: Harm's 1st TIA

July 11, 2005: Court resumes

July 15, 2005: Mac wins custody, divorce final

July 29-31, 2005: Harm's 1st weekend with the kids

August 28, 2005: 2nd TIA

September 26, 2005: Harm leaves for Utah

October 7, 2005: Mic proposes to Mac

November 12, 2005: Harm buy the cabin

December 26-31, 2005: Kids visit Harm in Utah

February 6, 2006: Harm sick with pneumonia

February 8, 2006: Mac arrives in Utah

February 18, 2006: Harm improves a bit

March 8, 2006: Infectious arthritis develops

March 14, 2006: Matthew conceived

March 16, 2006: Harm's doctor says damage might be permanent

April 20, 2006: Mac has positive pregnancy test

May 13,2006; Harm arrives home in D.C.

May 25, 2006: Harm meets Analiese

May 27, 2006: Harm and Analiese's first date

July 11, 2006: Harm tells Mac about Analiese

August 12, 2006: NATO ball

September 2, 2006: Lucy's doctor appointment

September 4, 2006: Lucy's test resuts come in

September 5, 2006: Lucy's spinal tap

September 8, 2006: Lucy's 1st treatment

October 27, 2006: Harm and Ana break up

October 30, 2006: Lucy put in the hospital

November 21, 2006: Mic and Mac break up

December 28, 2006: Matthew born

And now…

The Story Continues…

Chapter One

February 2, 2007

Mackenzie-Rabb Residence

Manassas, VA

The past month had rewritten the meaning of hectic for the Rabb family and their friends. Mac remained in the hospital for two weeks after Matthew's birth. The baby was able to go home with his father after only two days. Harm felt badly Mac wasn't able to be with Matthew at home but he enjoyed spending time with him and DJ.

Every day while Mac was in the hospital Harm would bring DJ to Harriet and Bud's house. One of them would bring him to Pre-K and pick him up while Harm spent his day visiting with Mac and looking after Lucy. She had responded beautifully to the antibiotics her doctors had worked out for her chemo port infection. Now, a month after a night Harm and Mac would long remember as one of the major turning points of their lives, they were allowed to bring Lucy home.

Harm had gone to the hospital with Bud while Harriet and Mac decorated the house for the small gathering they were holding in celebration of Lucy's homecoming. Everyone knew Lucy was not out of the woods but all were learning to cherish the small victories. Mac and Harriet had just finished hanging a colorful homemade WELCOME HOME LUCY banner DJ and the Roberts children had made. AJ would bring them over after treating them all to lunch at McDonald's and no doubt letting them run off some energy at the indoor playground.

"She'll love it," Harried proclaimed sitting on the sofa next to Mac as she nursed Matthew. "He's a little grub worm, isn't he?"

"Yes, he eats twice as much as Lucy or DJ did at this age," Mac smiled. "Of course he was nine pounds at birth so…"

"He's going to be built like Harm," Harriet observed. "I still can't believe it. First that you and Harm were together in Utah and…So what are you going to do now? Is Harm going to move back in here or…?"

Mac shook her head, "Not yet. If we do that and rush things again we'll only be making another mistake. We rushed the first time and you saw where that got us."

"But you are getting back together?" Harriet tried to clarify.

"We're going to try. We both have a lot to work out and a lot to forgive, but we are committed to trying to recommit if that makes sense," Mac replied shifting Matthew from her right to her left breast.

"It does," Harriet smiled. "Well, I am overjoyed really. You and Harm are a perfect fit. I could tell from the minute I saw the two of you on the Seahawk."

"If we figured it out that quickly we may have actually had time to build a relationship before getting married," she laughed. "I am worried about one thing though."

"What's that?" Harriet asked.

"Analise," Mac sighed. "After the divorce Harm was so lonely and depressed, but then he met Ana and she opened him up in way I never did and I saw…I saw the man I always loved loving someone else in a way he never really loved me."

"Hey, wait a minute," Harriet interjected. "You cannot say Harm didn't love you…"

"No," Mac corrected. "That's not what I meant. I know Harm loved me, still loves me, but it was different with her."

Harriet shook her head, "No, it wasn't. That's Harm. You probably couldn't see it through years of working together, having children together, raising them together, but we could see, those of us on the outside of it all could always see it there for you, just like…And it is still there, Mac."

"I admit that makes me feel a lot better," Mac replied repositioning Matthew once again so she could burp him.

"May I?" Harriet asked reaching for the baby. Mac handed the boy to Harriet along with a burp cloth. "The bottom line is," Harriet continued rubbing Matthew's back, "If you and Harm are meant to work everything out and continue your lives together you will. If you really are life mates Ana or anyone else won't be a factor."

"I hope you're right," said Mac standing and going to the kitchen to check on the pasta.

"Oh, I'm right," Harriet laughed as Matthew contributed a large burp to the discussion.

Metropolitan Children's Hospital

Arlington, VA

Harm and Bud sat in the hospital cafeteria waiting for Lucy. She had been scheduled for a test that afternoon and the imaging center was backed up. They had not had much of a chance to talk since Matthew was born and Bud was curious about where things were going.

"I know Harriet is probably going to find everything out from Mac but I'm curious, did you really not remember you and Mac being together in Utah?" Bud asked.

"No, all I remember about Utah is that I've felt better after punching out over the ramp," Harm chuckled. "If I'd suspected at all I'd have asked her."

"Would you?" Bud asked. "At the time of Mac's pregnancy, well for most of it you had already started seeing Analise and I though maybe…"

"No," Harm replied. "If I thought for a minute Matthew was mine I'd have at least talked to Mac about it. I'm not saying I would have left Ana but I would have been a part of her pregnancy."

Bud sipped his coffee, "Are you going to get back together now that Lucy is doing better and Mac can care for her more independently?"

"I haven't even thought about that," Harm sighed. "The main things on my mind have been Lucy's recovery and the paternity test Mic is still insisting on having done. I'm not at all worried but it is a formality I'd like to have out of the way. Besides, I haven't spoken to Ana since October."

"You two were great together," Bud said.

"Yeah, but I still love Mac, you know that. I told you we're trying again," Harm reminded him.

"Sure, but…Listen, you know I love Mac but I'm your friend too and everything that happened over the past two years and why it all ended like it did, it wasn't your fault," Bud explained.

"I had the affair, Bud and I lied about it," Harm pointed out.

"Yes, you did and it was the wrong thing to do but you didn't do it alone," Bud paused for a bit of fruit. "And I'm not talking about Annie either."

Harm nodded, "I know. Mac and I have both acknowledged we contributed to the problems we had together and decided to work on them together."

"I am happy for you," Bud assured him. "Truly but after you see your best friends shred each other to bits for two years its natural to be somewhat protective."

"And I appreciate it," Harm affirmed. "We couldn't have two better friends than you and Harriet."

Harm's cell rang as he finished his thought, "Rabb. Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there."

Bud raised his eyebrow at Harm in question.

"Lucy's ready," he replied wiping his mouth as he rose from his seat. "Let's go get her."

When Harm and Bud reached the oncology ward of the Children's Wing Lucy's nurse had her seated in her small pink wheelchair dressed in jeans, a purple turtleneck, and Winnie the Pooh pullover sweater. Her bald head was covered in a purple baseball cap with pink heart through it. When she saw her father and uncle she smiled.

"Hi, Button," Harm greeted. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Yes," Lucy replied with more enthusiasm than she had in months. "Where's Mommy?" Then, "Hi Uncle Bud."

"Hi, Kiddo," Bud smiled greeting Lucy. "Mommy's at home with Aunt Harriet."

"Captain Rabb," the nurse said. "We need you to sign Lucy's release forms and collect her personal items."

Harm nodded, "All right. Lucy," he said. "You wait with Uncle Bud. Daddy will be right back."

Harm was grateful he and Mac decided to start taking home all of the cards and gifts Lucy had collected a bit at a time. It only took him ten minutes to sign all the required forms and collect Lucy's things. Harm returned carrying Lucy's Snoopy travel bag and smiled, "How about you hold this for Daddy?" he suggested placing the duffel on her lap.

They made their way to the parking lot and Bud helped Harm secure Lucy in the car. They made light conversation on the drive smiling and laughing like old times before Lucy had gotten sick and everyone's life had been turned upside down.

AJ's truck was in the driveway when Harm arrived with Lucy. She had not fallen asleep but was looking tired. Bud took Lucy's bag inside while Harm moved her from her car safety seat to her wheelchair. Lucy hated the safety seat and complained only baby's had to use them. Harm and Mac, though, were adamant and unanimous in their decision that since Lucy's weight had dropped well below the average for her age that she had to ride in one.

Harm pushed Lucy's chair inside where her "family" waited to surprise her. It was evident to her parent's that she loved everything about the day from the food Mac and Harriet had prepared to the decorations created by her brother and their friends. By the time their guests had left for home Lucy was exhausted. She'd seemed like the little girl they remembered eating cake and laughing but all too soon they could see the toll that even the slightest activity took on her small body.

Harm stayed at the house to help Mac clean up and get the children to bed. While Lucy rested on the couch Harm gave DJ his bath and read him a bedtime story. Mac bathed Matthew in his baby tub, fed, burped and changed him before handing him off to his father to be put in his crib. Once DJ and Matthew were both secure in their beds they debated what to do about Lucy.

"We can't leave her there," Mac sighed indicating their daughter sleeping on the sofa. "Even if she does look comfortable."

"I'll put her in her bed," Harm sighed. "We need to try and get jammies on her without waking her up. She needs all the rest she can possibly get."

"Let's just slide her sweater off and her jeans. I'll help her change the rest later when she wakes up," Mac replied.

Harm nodded and lifted his sleeping child carrying her off to her room. Mac started straightening up the kitchen and dining area, putting dishes in the sink, leftover food in the refrigerator, used paper cups in the trash can…She paused in her chores when she felt Harm's eyes on her.

"What are you thinking?" she asked meeting his penetrating blue eyes.

"I'm thinking of all the times we've done this and about the reason for those parties verses this one," Harm answered. "No matter how much things have changed they have in some ways stayed the same."

"Some things will never change," Mac agreed. "Like you staring at me instead of helping when I'm doing the dishes. Get your butt over here and help, Flyboy."

Mac laughed at Harm joined in as he began scraping plates for Mac to rinse. It was a peaceful domestic scene, one which both Harm and Mac hoped would be repeated many times in their future.