A high, shrill scream rent the silence. Quite out of character for it's owner, it startled a great number of birds, and bugs, and monkeys, and lizards,and probably a few fish, before vanishing into the hazy blue sky.
" Wh-what's the matter?" Poppy asked, trying to find her head. It sounded as though one of her patients was in dire need of some assistance. Probably tried to remove an adhesive bandage from some hairy patch of skin without some unsticking juice.
She began to sit up, hoping it wasn't a real emergency, as she felt too sluggish to be of much value. Just as she opened her eyes, a huge hand came swooping down and clapped over her them, effectively blotting out all light.
" Don't open your eyes!" a distraught, almost-recognizable voice ordered.
" Why not?" she asked, slightly fearful. What had the students invented this time? Was one of the Weasley Twins involved? " And who screamed? Does anyone need my help?"
" Er...I seemed to have called out, a bit, when I woke. Bad nightmare."
" Who is there? What is going on? Now you just let me up!"
" I think you might want to remain down." he suggested.
" Because you haven't any clothes on."
Someone else might have demanded ' what?' or even, ' what is going on?' repeatedly, in a stupid annoying fashion.
Poppy Pomphrey however was a , practical, if not more paranoid sort of person, and even if she weren't, she had herself strongly convinced of that fact.
Therefore she did the best thing she could think of, and flailed out blindly with her fist, feeling a grim satisfaction when it connected to the chin of her...her...attacker. He wrenched his hand away and her eyes flew open, only to close them again just as fast. Feeling the edge of a blanket somewhere around her knees, she snatched it up and around herself. Tightly.
" You! Al-Albus! What have you done?"
" Madame...just what are you implying?"
" I know when something funny is going on...and this is definitely something funny." she replied. " And I intend to stop it from going on."
" That's too bad. I always enjoy a good laugh."
" Who's laughing? "
" Well, you might laugh, if you...er, well, no. Best not to."
" If I what?" she cracked open one eye, then shut it again with a squeak. " And in the name of decency, please put on your clothes!"
" Well, that is part of why I'm laughing." he said, but hurried to add, " in a non humorous sort of way, of course."
" Fine. Explain it your way."
" Well, you see..I don't seem to have any clothes. And I don't, at least not from here, see your clothes either. And there is only one blanket."
Poppy clutched the scratchy blanket tighter under her chin.
" Could our clothes have been stolen?" she asked hopefully.
" Well...that is possible. But my guess is that we probably left them on the beach."
" Oh, well, that is a relie-...what did you say?"
" BEACH? Not...BENCH?"
" Beach. B-E-A-"
" Don't be an ass, I know how to spell beach."
" Speaking of spells...have you by any chance been toying around with a new one?"
" I have not!"
" Do you have any enemies?"
" No more than any nurse."
" What do you mean...good?"
" Well, this is probably just a dream." he said nonchalantly.
" Just a dream?" This time when she opened her eyes they stuck open.
Albus was lying back now, covered from chin to knee in his beard, arms crossed comfortably behind his head. He crossed his ankles.
" What are you doing?" she demanded.
" Going back to sleep."
" But shouldn't we do something?"
" Well...this is your dream, not mine. You decide."
" How do you know it is my dream? "
He gestured to the view. She peeled her eyes away long enough to notice the impossibly blue sky, the magically turquoise ocean, the gently swaying palms. It was lush and romantic. They were lying in what appeared to be a tiny grass hut, just large enough for two persons to lie in side by side, and open on one end to face what promised to be a tear-jerking sunset.
Sitting up carefully, she peered outside. The entire island appeared to be only thirty feet across, their 'jungle' only a small stand of trees jutting from the center of a perfectly circular sand hill.
" I've never seen this place before." she insisted.
" Oh, come Poppy. I've know too many women in my time. This reeks of romance and femininity. Any moment now, I expect a handsome blonde pirate in an impossibly white shirt to appear."
" What it reeks of, is suspicion." she said, narrowing her eyes. " And when I get my hands on the bloody little twerp who did this, I am going to force an entire bottle of Skel-Gro down his...or her...throat until it leaks out of every orifice, then I am going to-"
" Yes..." he interrupted." That's lovely. A little out of control though. Now, what you need to do, is lie back, and relax. "
She stared at him, disbelieving.
" There is no way I can relax!"
" Just lie back and try."
" I am not going to...to...lie beside you in our present state of undress. It would be indecent!"
" What's the difference? You are seated beside me at the moment. And we were certainly lying side by side earlier...and you didn't find it indecent then."
"I was asleep! Or unconscious."
" Yes... and if I had suspected how lovely you could be while unconscious, I would have knocked you out years ago." he said teasingly.
" Oh for Merlin's sake." she huffed, but blushed. " If you are going to just lie there, I'm going to walk around. I intend to get to the bottom of this."
" May I borrow your blanket?" he asked.
" I'll sunburn..." he warned.
" I..." her eyes widened slightly. " Your not even in the sun!"
" I have very sensitive skin."
" Oh..." her eyes suddenly widened. " You made me forget! Do you have your wand?"
" Nope. Do you?"
She began searching about for hers, but did not discover anything except an eye-patch. She held it up.
" If that's yours, it seems as though it is missing some more parts." he declared.
" It's an eye-patch!"
' I was just teasing...my dear. You seem so tense. I thought I might loosen you somewhat."
" I most certainly don't need loosening. Not by you!" she flung the eye-patch at him, and stood, tucking the blanket completely around herself like a Roman toga. Even though she was sufficiently covered, she backed out of the shelter, glad to duck out of his line of site.
The great outdoors held no clues. It was definitely a baby island, as far as islands went. It was surrounded by water, just as an island should be. It had no other structures. No boats. No pirates.
She touched a few of the trees, and a few of the coconuts, and a rock, and a starfish...but nothing happened. No Portkey, no miraculous rescue. Irritated, and embarrassed, she sulked to the edge of the ocean, trying to ignore just how beautiful and peaceful it really was. After a few moments, she heard the unmistakable sound of bare feet being dragged through the sand.
She continued to stare at the ocean, hugging her toga tightly as Albus came to stand beside her, at a respectable distance. An accidental glance to the side revealed that, while she had been exploring, he had been industrious, and now wore a ridiculous skirt fashioned of palm leaves. He had also donned the eye-patch. It was his turn to look sullen, arms crossed over his beard, frowning out at the horizon.
She had to turn her head to keep from laughing hysterically, and managed to turn the eruption of giggles into a passable coughing fit. Not before he guessed what she was doing however, and turned his glare on her.
" Shut up. " he said softly.
" I'm trying..."
" Did you find anything?"
She shook her head.
"I'll bet this was Severus' idea." he muttered. " Oh yes. Still mad at me about that little karaoke episode. Thought this would be very funny."
" Karry ookie?" she asked, perplexed.
" Never mind!" he snapped, a little more harshly than he had intended. A soft sea breeze had decided to stir his palm fronds, and he was struggling to keep them under control.
" Do you...need any help?" she asked, recognizing her turn to tease.
" I do not. I've been keeping my fronds down for years, without anyone's help."
" That's a shame. I know it is highly unlikely...but I am having the strangest memories of a boat wreck." she changed the subject. " Do you recall anything of the kind?"
He thought for a moment.
" I recall something about a fire."
" That's it!" they both turned to each other and pointed. " You rescued me!"
" I rescued you!? You rescued me!"
" Wait a moment!" he said. " I did rescue you!"
" And I rescued you."
" There was a boat wreck."
" It was a ship. The boat is over there--Oh no! It's gone!"
" Poppy, my dear...it probably never existed. I'm sure this is a dream!"
" No! It was really there. It must have washed away in the storm."
He tapped his fingers on his lips, thoughtfully.
" Impossible. We weren't on a boat. Why would we be on a boat?" he asked himself aloud.
" I...I don't remember. Oh! What if we have amnesia?" she began muttering to herself. " And I don't have any of my potions with me...no wand..bananas aren't useful for anything...what should we do? I don't feel like I have amnesia...I can still remember my name. And your name. And we both work at Hogwarts, my canary is named Pox...my address is 3-"
Albus spun her around suddenly his lips to keep hers from moving. He just needed a moment of silence in which to think. She was just beginning to see things his way when he released her.
" Guh." she said, dazed.
" Guh-Goo--Good heavens...what did you do that for!?"
" I've never kissed a woman on a deserted island whilst the last remaining embers of a dying sun played passionately across her lovely face, and shone like fire in her hair."
" Oh!" she exclaimed weakly.
" And I can't abide hysterics in a woman."
Drawing up indignantly, though still blushing, she did the second thing that sprang into her mind.
" I have never been hysterical, Professor!" and with that, she took hold of his flimsy waist band and yanked. Then she turned on one bare heel and strode angrily toward the hut...trailing the remains of his skirt. She was only halfway there, which wasn't very far at all, when he tackled her.
One arm around her waist, he tried to pry his unique garment from her fingers, even though there were plenty of palm fronds in the jungle. Of course she wasn't going to relent, and felt herself perfectly justified in being stubborn. She didn't like their situation one bit, and his peculiar behavior was very ungallant. Almost like a pirate!
" I'm afraid I can't let you have that. I have nothing else that matches my coconuts." he said, as he tore the skirt from her
With her properly distracted, he was able to gracefully divest her of the toga, which had conveniently come untucked.
" Ha!" he exclaimed, waving it like a bullfighter in front of her.
There was little reason to be modest now, as the wind and the sun revealed everything to them both. Furious, she charged him, intending to beat his head against the nearest coconut. Maybe it would shake his memory back. If it were really gone. She wouldn't be surprised if he knew exactly what was going on, and was just tormenting her.
This thought enraged her more, and she collided with him harder than she had first intended, knocking the breath out of him. They slipped in the sugary sand, toppled backward, and rolled toward the water. She recovered first, and taking him by the sides of his beard began to thump his head against the wet sand.
" Now you just tell me what is going on. And I want the truth...you hear me?" She thumped him twice more for good measure, but he just grinned up at her. " Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"
She was on the verge of flying completely off the broom handle when he seized her wrists, and wrapped them smartly behind her back. She realized with no small amount of mortification that she had straddled his chest to reach his head, and was now on full display. Not too mention dangerously close.
" Release me. You had just better!" she threatened, squirming to no effect. He simply held her still, waiting for her to tire. It took awhile, as she was an energetic woman always on her feet and bustling about. He was worried that he might give in first, but at last she slumped down, defeated.
" All right...please let me go." she mumbled.
" I don't think so! My, my...I haven't seen a temper like that since Grindelwald, but you wear it so much better." he traced a light circle on her wrist with his thumb. " Admit it...you're sweet on me, Poppy."
She pulled a sour face, and turned to stare up at the trees.
" I'm no such thing."
" Not even the tiniest bit?" he prompted.
She turned her nose up even higher.
" Of course not. Isn't that Min-erva's job? Shouldn't you worry about her being jealous?"
" Who is being jealous? " he laughed. " It sounds as if Poppy is being jealous."
' Don't be ridiculous. I am too old to be jealous. I am confused, humiliated and enraged,...but not jealous." she sniffed.
" I bet I can make you laugh..." he said, changing the subject.
This had the same effect on her as telling a tantruming child their was a surprise in your pocket--she became wildly curious and had to struggle to resist the temptation. At last the curiosity got the better of her.
" Well...what?" she demanded.
" Ooooogah-Boogah." he replied calmly.
" What?" she hadn't the faintest idea what he was talking about, but the words themselves made her lips twitch.
" Ooooogah...Booogah---oogahboogah---Ooogah...Boogah---oogahboogah. Come on, sing along."
" Albus, " she laughed, " Did I hit your head that hard?"
" Albus! Be serious! Say something that makes sense!"
" Let me see if you've concussed yourself. Open your eyes. No...look up. Up! What are you look----! Oh! STOP THAT!"
He tossed her unceremoniously to the side, and jumped to his feet, with much more ease than a man his age should have, and tied his skirt back on. Once it was secure, he took took up a stick and began shaking it at her, while in a half crouch, still repeating his oogahboogahs to different tunes.
He replaced all the words to Waltzing Matilda with Oogahboogahs, and then started on the Star Wars theme. Poppy of course didn't recognize the song, but that just made it sound more sinister and insane.
He poked at her a couple of times with the stick, and after the initial shock of seeing him acting out the weird headhunter dance, she gave in, and laughed out loud. Once she got started, she couldn't stop, and could only clutch her middle with one hand, point with the other,and gurgle hysterically. I don't think I need to elaborate on just why this was funny, do I?
He dropped down beside her, grinning. His glasses were askew, and the wind had tangled his hair. He might have looked wild and dangerous, had it not been for the gleam in his eye.
They had not noticed, during their row, that the temperature had grown quite chilly. Shivering, she shook the blanket out, and spread it over herself. After a moment's thought, she gestured for him to join her.
" What should we do?" she asked, as he settled in.
" Well, let's see. We are naked and alone on a deserted tropical island. Two possible actions spring to mind, but since I don't have a chessboard, one of them is out."
" Well!" was all she could think to say. She wanted desperately to be witty, but the words evaded her. " Wh-what's the second thing?"
" Do you really want me to say?"
" Er...well, might as well."
" Hold on to your hairpins, then!"
" What? Aahhh..."
He pushed her to her back and assaulted her mouth once more. Her scream was muffled, her arms flailed weakly...her nipples decided to stand up for a better look.
" Why did you stop?" she demanded breathlessly when he pulled away.
" You quit screaming."
" Get off me!" she shoved him to the side and stood, taking up the fallen blanket. She wrapped it around herself and trudged back to the grass hut.
" Where are you going?"
She whirled to face him.
" I am going back to sleep. When I wake up, I want you OUT OF MY DREAM!! I want...I want...I want to wake and find Richard Harris! I'm tired of you!" she jabbed the air with a finger to punctuate her point.
He blinked a minute, clearly befuddled. When she saw that no answer or retort was forthcoming, she snorted and began once more to pick her way across fallen leaves and sticks, and old rotting coconut hulls.
Collecting his wits, he hurried to follow her.
" Who is that?" he demanded.
" Who?" she answered before she remembered she was going ot ignore him.
" That name you just said. Who is that?"
" An actor. I thought you liked films."
" I do. But I've never heard that name."
She only shrugged, and ducked into the hut. The evening breeze had blown a layer of sand onto the grass mat, and she had to sweep it out as best she could with her palm, while under his intense scrutiny. When the mat was somewhat clean, and her hand suitably raw and stinging, she turned around and seated herself inside.
" What does he look like?"
Poppy ignored him, untying the blanket and spreading it so that it made a somewhat decent bed and cover. Laying down, she yawned dramatically, and closed her eyes. She could feel his gaze, could even swear she could feel it's blueness. Fragments of the dream came back to her--being rescued from the burning ship, the strong arms around her waist. She sighed and flung her arm over her eyes, as if that could crush the pirates from her mind.
" What is it? " she asked with a small sigh.
" I am very sorry that we are here. And very sorry that you are so upset."
She relaxed a little, feeling suddenly very low. Of course it wasn't his fault. This was just a dream wasn't it? Or maybe a nightmare? A curse? Not his fault, not her fault. She sighed again.
" I'm sorry too, Albus. I don't mean to be so short tempered, but my goodness you have no idea how embarrassed I am!"
He patted her hand.
" Of course. Rest...you'll feel better. Then perhaps we can solve our dilemma.'
Poppy woke to the feel of warm sunlight across her face. To the sound of birds. The sound of the wind in the trees. And the sound of the sea battering a sandy shore. She groaned.
No.No.No. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to wake up in her nice, prim, single bed at Hogwarts. She would use her wand to summon clean clothes, to run a bath, to start a fire. Instead, she was lying in a grass hut, her body covered with a film of sweat and a layer of sand. She felt as though she had been rolled and breaded like a fish ready to be fried.
The scratchy blanket was exacerbating her discomfort, and she fidgeted, hoping that if she didn't move, she could fall back asleep. The arm that had been draped possessively, or casually, about her waist tightened. Long fingers splayed out over her bare stomach.
Drawing a slow, steadying breath, she tried to decide whether or not she should inch away. What was the point? They were still here, and still naked. She would rather go back to sleep.
" What does he look like?" Albus suddenly asked.
" Mmmwhat?" she asked.
" Your actor." he sounded almost as jealous as she had the day before when teasing him about Minerva.
" Oh for pity's sake!" she huffed. " I was just joking!"
" You didn't look like you were joking."
" Well...are you going to tell me or not?" he placed his mouth over her ear, causing her to jump.
" Ah...no. "
" Very well then, my dear." he released her and stood. She only had a moment to be relieved, before he suddenly stooped, slipped his arms under her shoulders and knees and lifted her high into the air.
" Albus!!! What are you doing!? You' re going to drop me! I'm falling!"
" Well, if it's the only way to get you to fall for me...so be it." he said.
" Oh, Albus...that was an awful line!" she laughed, clutching at his hair to keep from slipping.
He ducked out of the hut,and stood upright.
" Where are you going?"
" To the water. It's a lovely day for a swim."
" I can't swim!" she kicked her legs in a pretense at protest.
" Then I'll hold you."
Her face was caressed by the cool air, and she had to admit that it was a marvelous day. She was being carried to the ocean, by a naked man, who was still wearing an eye-patch. He drew up at the edge of water, where the foam laced edge threatened to wash over his bare feet.
" You'll forgive me of course, but I simply have to do this." he said, his eyes glittering with mischief.
" Don't you dare!"
He heaved her up and tossed her out, expecting her to land in reasonably shallow water, with a resounding splash. There was no splash. Instead, Poppy struck what might have been an invisible barrier, her body making a dull splat as it impacted with the solid surface. She slid down the wall, into the inch of water directly in front of him. Stunned, she remained sprawled at his feet.
" Oh! Poppy! Poppy? My dear...are you all right? I..I don't understand!" he knelt down in front of her. She merely slid over and landed face down in the surf.
" Oh, dear!" he rolled her over, and patted her cheek sharply. Her eyes fluttered open, and regarded him with confusion.
' What happened? " she asked.
" I...er, nothing my dear. You slipped and fell. "
" I did not. You threw me against a wall."
" There was no wall. At least, I don't see wall. Do you?"
She shook her head.
" Just lie there a minute and rest. I'll see if I can find it again." he began wading into the water, holding his hands out carefully in front of him. Only ankle deep, he encountered a definite firm resistance. Just as he had originally supposed. There was some nasty spell-work afoot here, and he could almost recall what it was.
With a shake of his head he returned.
" Trapped. Like Bugs. Like Blast-Ended Skrewts. "
" Oh dear. " she said. " Do you think we are going to die here?"
"Yes. Any last wishes?"
" Kiss me again?"
" What!? After that fit you had yesterday?"
" That was yesterday. This is today."
He regarded her warily.
" I think you may have hit your head a bit hard, my dear. Let me fell for a knot. "
He combed his fingers into her hair and began massaging her scalp, at the same time that he lowered his mouth and kissed her.
" Is that how you check for a knot?" she asked breathlessly.
" No. That was to see if you were still breathing."
" Was I?"
" No. You mysteriously seem to stop whenever my lips get this close."
" Now, why do you think that is?" she asked.
" I believe it is some form of jungle fever." he answered. " You're flushed and damp, your cheeks are red, and your heart is beating like a war drum. If I lay my head just this close.."
" I can hear it playing out a familiar tune."
" What tune?" she whispered, shivering as his beard tickled her bared breast.
" Oogah-Boogah, Oogah-Boogah." he said, with a wicked grin.
" Oogah-Boogah." she agreed.
" Aarrgh!" he covered her mouth again, but she pulled away.
" Not here on the beach. It's too ' From Here to Eternity.' "
" I'll race you to the house."
Of course, he didn't play fair. He was already on his feet by the time he challenged her, and she was still tangled in the blanket. By the time she made it to the door he was well inside, and she blushed , realizing how easy she must seem. Second thoughts, and third and fourth thoughts too, began to creep into her mind, but his hand shot from within and captured her wrist, scattering all of those thoughts to the far reaches of the universe.
Was she allowing him to pull her inside? Yes. Inside, onto his lap and into his arms; all with one pull on her arm. Falling against him, she wasted no time in finding his mouth, and for good measure, his tongue.
Oh, dear Merlin, the man tasted like candy...
As she felt the rough grass of the mat beneath her back, she wondered whether or not this might in any way be damaging to their professional relationship. Would she be able to face him in the hospital wing of the school without blushing? Would she be able to face her students with any degree of decorum, or god forbid, could she chastise them on the dangers of promiscuity after she had been rolling around a desert island with their headmaster?
Did she really care?
She couldn't remember if she should or not, as deep kisses became ravenous kisses; as feathery touches became fumbling caresses. They both wanted to be more patient, but a certain amount of sexual tension, ( only about twenty years worth) had accumulated between them with a force that would no longer lie dormant.
Removing his tongue from her throat, he stuck it into her ear, causing her to squeal and wriggle. It was almost distraction enough to take her mind away from his long, roaming fingers, as they spidered their way along her inner thigh. Almost. She would never have admitted it, but it had been years since a man...a real, flesh-and-blood man, had touched her anywhere other than to push away her hand when she was administering a nasty sleeping draught.
This was better than fantasies. Better than she remembered, she thought--as he decided to replace his fingers with his mouth and proceeded to trace out the seven uses for dragon's blood using his tongue. Excruciating torment. Too Excruciating. On a normal day it didn't take that much stimulation to arouse her interest--under these circumstances, it was sensory overload.
" Oh! For heaven's sake...won't you please get on with it?" she asked, tugging his beard.
His head appeared over hers, and with a glinting wink, he, for once, did exactly as she pleased.
When she first managed to swim near the surface of her rather gelatinous conscious, Poppy thought to herself that at least the birds were still, and finally Albus had ceased snoring. That thought led her to grin wickedly to herself, and stretch, hugging her pillow tightly under her naked breasts.
Pillow? She frowned in her semi-slumber, and rubbed her face over the material. Yes. It was her pillow. She was back in her own bed. It had been a dream after all. That was both a relief and a disappointment, she thought grumpily. She could never, ever, ever...not in a million years, not for ten million galleons ever face Albus Dumbledore again.
I am so ashamed, she said to herself. And so shameful.
She grinned again.
And lying in bed and grinning was all well and good but she had duties to attend. It must be nearly time for breakfast, as the sun seemed--
What did the sun seem like?
It seemed to be on the wrong side of the room! She glared at the window, hung with powdery blue curtains. Pairs of gold stars were doing the rhumba across the fabric.
Oh no! Not another dream! Don't let me trapped in another one! What if...what if it was with someone else? Like...Cornelius Fudge? She shuddered.
As if waiting for her movement, a soft poofing noise sounded near to her ear, sounding very disturbingly like a camera flash. A blue, powdery cloud appeared, and from it, a long strand of yellow ticker tape emerged. She reached out a hand and caught it quite easily as it floated to towards the floor.
It was only an inch wide, so the words were choppy and difficult to read.
' Dear Customer,
We hope you enjoyed your Fuzzy Fantasy Frolic. You chose Category--Erotica/Scenario--Pirate Kidnap/Rating -Grown Up.
If you enjoyed this scenario, you might also enjoy Category--Adventure/Scenario--tropical island/Very Grown Up.
Please visit us again,
' What's that" a voice spoke from over her shoulder.
She made an exclamation that would have lost a student house-points had Severus overheard it. The ticker tape fell to the floor as she grappled for the covers. She was never so relieved ot find an object as she was when she felt the smooth cool wooden handle of her wand slip into her palm.
Taking a great breath she whipped around, and aimed the wand.
Albus' eyes crossed as he examined the wand's point, which hovered only a half inch from his nose.
" Well, I believe that sums up your feelings about last night." he said, calmly.
" What are you doing in my bed?"
" Perhaps I should ask...what are you doing in my bed?"
' Your bed?" she repeated, flicking her eyes up towards the canopy of blue velvet."
" I'd know it anywhere." he deadpanned.
The wand fell from her hand.
" It was YOU!" she shouted, accusingly, jabbing her finger at him. " It was you...you used a spell! A love potion! You tricked me!"
" I did what!? Why, don't be ridiculous...I would never resort to using a love philtre. What do you think I am, a thirteen year old gilr?"
" I ought to make you a 150 year old girl1 I ought to turn you into a Headmistress, then turn you into the Ministry for...for..inappropriate sexual behavior!"
" You almost sound as if you were an unwilling victim." he said, hurt.
" I...well..." she faltered.
Seeing her weaken at the memory of how unwilling she had not been, he dared to edge closer, hoping that a little reassurance might go a long way. Of course he kept a wary eye on her fallen wand.
Poppy began groping over the side of the bed for the ticker tape, all the while trying to resist the urge the moisten her lips. It looked as though he were coming in for a kiss, and she really should fight him. Finding the paper, she thrust it into his face.
" What is this?" she demanded.
For once, he was speechless. His mouth fell open, but no words issued forth. She decided that peuce was the color that best described his new complexion.
" I knew it!! You did use a spell on me. You pornographic spell and used it to seduce me with. "
" you don't understand...that is not for you."
" Not for me? do you mean to say that you bought it with another witch in mind, and just had the misfortune of snagging the wrong one?"
" Poppy, my dear--it isn't like that at all. That is a...well, it's a you know..." he mumbled something incoherent under his breath.
" I didn't catch that." she said drily.
He pressed his lips together, and tired to decide whether the truth was worth the price. The truth might soothe her anger at him, but would he ever live down the humiliation?
" Well? What is it?" she prodded, seeing that he was on the verge of a great confession.
" It is...a romance novel."
Her eyes widened, and mirth instantly replaced her previous wrath.
" After accusing me of having that ridiculous dream! Haha. ' it reeks of romance and femininity. A romance novel? Do you mean...the sort that thirteen year old girls read?. "
" The same." he said gravely.
" About pirates?" she stifled a giggle.
" I don't believe that you understand the situation fully. That is a receipt for a romance vision. It is supposed to induce a dream fantasy for the person who swallows it. It is not supposed to...do what it did. I believe that the persons who manufactured that product made a serious magical error."
" You were only supposed to dream about pirates. Not ladies then, eh?"
" A certain lady was supposed to be in the dream, yes. "
" Now, why don't you put that brilliant Ravenclaw mind of your's to work on that question, while I put my very needy Gryffindor lips right here, on this section of neck which I so shamefully neglected last night."
" Oh...Albus! You didn't really want to dream about me?" she asked breathlessly.
" How many ways will I have to prove it to you?" he sighed. "
" How many ways do you know?" she clapped a hand over her mouth as the words slipped out.
He gave her a stern look over the rim of his spectacles, before applying his lips to the spot he had been eyeing a moment before.
" Count that as one..." he murmured.
" What is that crawling over my leg?"
The fell away from each other in a panic, her spilling out onto the floor, and he edging away from the center, before throwing back the covers. There was no snake or lizard in the bed, however, to their immense relief.
Just the very crumpled, very sad remains of a palm frond hula skirt.
Poppy looked at Albus, and grinned.
" Oogah-boogah." he said.
Thank you for reading a Fuzzy Fantasy Frolic. If you enjoyed 'Oogah-Boogah' you may also enjoy;
" Waking Lupin"
" The Good Die Young"
Weasely's Wizarding Wheezes
Author's Note-Thank you, faithful frolic readers for persuing this story. I personally don't beleive it to be as good as the others, even though I had a lot of fun writing it. It's a bit longer too, and if you have read the other's you will note that this scenario was slightly altered. Apparently Albus got hold of a less damaged batch of Frolic Powder than some of the others.