Opps I did it again! I wrote another fic full of crack. Yesh! The crack-queen is back in action!

I was just chillin with one of my friends at Starbucks the other day, and the pick up counter they have is ridiculously huge, and this idea just popped into my head. Plus, I wanted to torture Hitsu-chan some.

SUMMARY: Hitsugaya can't see over the counter, and the Starbucks workers mistake him for a little kid.

PAIRINGS: Ichigo/ Hitsugaya

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bleach- or Starbucks!- and I'm making no money off of this. I do, however, wish I had a Chai right now.

WARNINGS: yaoi (that's m/m for all your rocket surgeons out there)

Did I mention this was full of crack? Cuz it is, and it's probably a lil OOC, too, but that's what happens when you play with crack, kiddies.

Oh, and just so ya know, this is set when Ichigo is in college, he and Shiro are in an established relationship- i.e., they been dating for a while- and Shiro comes to visit him. And Shiro's in a gigai.



by Neko Oni

Ichigo loved Starbucks. He went there on a daily basis, before his morning classes started at the local community college. He couldn't start the morning off without a lovely caffeinated latte. Oh, how he worshipped the caffeine kami.

He was starting to get Toshiro addicted. Toshiro never took a liking to regular coffee, no matter how many times he tried it. Mochas, hot, chilled, or whipped, were good. Chai was even better, especially the way Starbucks made it. He'd tried it at other places, but it was never as good. It was as if Starbucks had some secret recipe in which they'd perfected the art of making Chai.

Maybe the secret recipe was locked away in a dungeon and guarded by a vicious, gigantic three headed dog named Fluffy. And no, he had NOT been reading Harry Potter because that was a child's book, he did NOT have an overactive imagination and he was NOT on a sugar high.

The only thing Toshiro hated was the damned pick up counter. It was massively high; he couldn't see over the top of it. Not that he wanted to, but it made him feel…short. And he was NOT short- well, okay, he was. That was one thing he couldn't deny, try as hard as he might.

He couldn't see what was going on behind the counter. He could hear the baristas chattering away, the whirring of blenders, liquid pouring and sloshing around, whip cream hissing as it came out of the can, and the clunking and clanking of cups and saucers. The flurry of the activity was a bit intriguing. They didn't have anything like this back in Soul Society.

And Toshiro was curious. He wanted to know what they were doing behind that counter. Besides, as a captain, it was his duty to investigate strange matters; one never knew what could come of it. Plus, while he was here on earth, he might as well accumulate as much information on the living world for Soul Society as possible, that way the next time shinigami had to go in the field they could be better prepared to blend in.

He heard water running- someone turned on a faucet, adding yet more din to the bustling racket. He was about to stand on tip toe to peer over the counter when a fat man in an ill-fitting suit bumped into him. The bulging belly sent Toshiro stumbling a few steps forward; his forehead was headed straight for the heavy, solid marble counter.

At the last second, Ichigo took notice and grabbed the smaller shinigami, pulling him against his side. Toshiro stayed close to the strawberry boy's long, lanky body. He turned to glare at the fat bastard who'd pushed him. The man's face was buried behind a newspaper- he never even realized he'd bumped the small, slender taichou.

Toshiro growled, but Ichigo squeezed his hand. Toshiro turned icy eyes on the much taller boy. "Forget it, Shiro-chan."

Toshiro snorted and tugged his hand out of Ichigo's bigger one. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the counter. The noises kept on. Ichigo was half slumped across the marble surface, chin resting on his hands as he watched them make their order. Tired of glaring at paneled wood, Toshiro turned his moody stare onto his boyfriend.

The lucky bastard was actually tall enough to lean over the damned counter. Stupid prick. It was SO not fair. Toshiro pouted, stepping closer to Ichigo so their sides were touching. Ichigo smiled down at him. "Ne, Shiro-chan, you're cute when you're grumpy."

Pink blossomed on his cheeks, and Toshiro promptly looked down. "Stuff it, Kurosaki." Ichigo just chuckled, smirked, and turned his attention to the activity behind the counter. There was a loud crash followed by an "Oh, shit!" and Toshiro's curiosity finally got the better of him.

Slender, small fingers gripped the cold marble of the pick up counter as Toshiro stood on his tippy toes. Behind the counter, all that had been visible were the tips of his spiky hair, but now a pair of huge, beautiful sea-green eyes peered curiously at the blenders, latte machines, and coffee pots.

Someone had dropped a pitcher to a blender, and liquid spilled all over the tiled floor. Hurriedly, one of the workers cleaned it up with a mop. One of the girls finished making Ichigo's latte. Putting the lid on, she came over to the counter, smiling at Ichigo. "Here ya go, I'll have your Chai done in a jiffy- Oh my goodness! Look at those eyes!" Her chipper tone turned into a delighted squeal and she leaned over the counter, face close to Toshiro's.

Toshiro certainly wasn't expecting that. Instinctively, he jumped back as she leaned forward. He bounced off the fat man's belly and back to the girl. A huge grin plastered on her face. "Oh, aren't you just adorable!" She squealed again.

Her high pitch hurt his ears; Toshiro quickly sidestepped behind Ichigo, latching onto his arm to keep from bouncing off the fat man again. Hidden behind his boyfriend, he couldn't see the dreadful nuisance.

Ichigo was too busy watching them clean up the spill- he was still half asleep. He needed his morning fix of caffeine before he was fully alert and aware. One second, Toshiro was glaring up at him, the girl handed Ichigo his latte, then the next second, just as Ichigo was about to take a sip of the steaming liquid, the barista squealed and his little lover had his arm in a death grip as that slender body he knew so well pressed into his back.

With Toshiro hiding behind his boyfriend, the barista turned her attention back to Ichigo, who blew on his latte while squeezing Toshiro's hand to calm the boy down. He wouldn't try to soothe the small shinigami with words- that would only make Toshiro feel childish and piss him off. And Ichigo really didn't feel like dealing with Hyourinamru first thing in the morning. Not when he has to go sit through an hour and a half of Chemistry.

"The little one is SOO cute! He's got such big, pretty eyes! And he's shy! That's just soo…so CUTE!" She prattled on. Ichigo nodded while he slurped his latte. Ah, warm, delicious caffeine! She turned back to make Toshiro's chai, blabbing away to her coworkers about how cute and adorable and sweet the little boy with the strawberry haired boy was. Several of them peered over the counter to look, but Toshiro stubbornly stayed hidden.

Ichigo stayed very busy with his latte. He concentrated extra hard upon the steaming liquid. He wasn't about to offend any of the workers who made his delicious drinks morning after morning- sometimes he got a freebie on the side. And he most certainly wasn't going to anger the bristling boy clinging to him. He just stayed silent, didn't make eye contact with anyone, and enjoyed his drink while squeezing Toshiro's small, delicate hand every few seconds.

Toshiro's growl slowly died to an angry rumble deep in his slender chest. He kept a tight hold on Ichigo's hand and refused to come out so those brain-dead ninnies could fuss over him. He wanted to turn them all into coffee-making popsicles with Hyourinmaru, but then he wouldn't get his Chai. And soon as he got it, he was dragging Ichigo out of there. By force if he had to. And they were never coming here again.

"Here ya go, one Chai latte all ready and rarin' to go!" Oh, no, SHE was back. Toshiro stifled a groan. He punched Ichigo in the back; the taller boy grunted and took Toshiro's drink for him. Toshiro was NOT coming back out, even to get his drink. He was not going near her ever again. Not when she squealed and gushed over how "cute" and "adorable" he was. He most certainly was NOT any of those disgusting things!

"And here's a cookie for the cutie-pie! On the house, cuz he's so cute!" She beamed as she handed a monster sized M&M cookie over the counter. Ichigo smirked; he had his hands full, so Toshiro would have to grab it. Serves him right for punching him in the back.

Snickering, Ichigo sidestepped. Toshiro was still stubbornly hiding- he didn't want a cookie, and he didn't want to be squealed over. Trying to figure a dignified way out- bolting for the door was a last resort- he was taken unawares as Ichigo moved over and left him exposed to the squealing, gushing loony.

Toshiro's eyes widened at the huge cookie that was suddenly thrust into his face. Really, this was worse than Ukitake forcing candy upon him. Several more of the workers, including the manager, crowded on the other side of the counter, staring down at him with huge smiles on the faces.

Deprived of Ichigo's arm, Toshio latched onto the strap of the taller boy's book bag and went to step behind him again, but Ichigo pivoted his hip, forcing Toshiro to stay out in the open. With them.

"Aww, he's just so sweet!"

"Look at how shy he is!"

"I can't believe those eyes! So pretty!"

"Oh, how adorable!"

They all gushed over him. Since he couldn't kill them, he wanted to run. But Ichigo was blocking his way, smirking down at him.

"Here ya go, sweetie. Have a cookie. Aww, don't be so shy. You're big brother has his hands full right now- go on, take it!" The barista encouraged him, shoving the cookie in his face.

Cheeks bright red, glaring at the floor and one small hand still clutching Ichigo's book bag straps, Toshiro sighed in resignation and took the cookie. Several of the girls squealed in delight. He wanted to turn tail and run, but Ichigo elbowed him.

Completely embarrassed- much to Ichigo's delight, for that pink blush made Toshiro truly adorable, and it was such a rare sight- Toshiro mumbled a small "Arigato." This earned him several more squeals and exclamations of how adorable and cute he was, and how his shyness made him cuter

Still with a death grip on Ichigo's book bag strap, the petite taichou marched out of the coffee shop, dragging Ichigo behind him. Even though he head longer legs, Ichigo could barely keep up with Toshiro's angry stomping. And he couldn't keep the amused grin off his face, either.

Safely outside, Toshiro rounded angrily on him. "One word, Kurosaki, and I swear you won't get any nookie from me for the next millennia. Not even a kiss!" He snapped.

Ichigo couldn't wipe the idiotic grin off his face. That had been vastly amusing, and the little taichou's cheeks were tinged pink. He was so adorable when he was flustered. Ichigo wanted to take him into his arms and take him back to his bedroom so he could make him more flustered.

But, unfortunately, he had class, and Toshiro wasn't in the mood for sex. With a resigned sigh, Ichigo handed over the Chai to the fuming boy. Toshiro curled his upper lip in a sneer at the cup- he wanted nothing to do with Starbucks at all. He wouldn't take the cup, but Ichigo pressed it upon him. Growling, he took it then shoved the cookie into Ichigo's empty hand.

Ichigo stared down at the angry boy, who glared up at him, then he shrugged, and took a bite out of the cookie. "Thanks, Shiro-chan." Hey, free breakfast- he wasn't going to complain. He crunched loudly on the M&Ms, crumbs falling from his lips as he sat down on a bench. Toshiro followed him, settling besides him and still refusing to touch the Chai.

Ichigo ignored the boy as he crunched and slurped the cookie and the latte. They were silent for a while, then slender fingers suddenly wrapped around his wrist, the spiky white head lowered and small white teeth took a hunk off the half eaten cookie.

When Toshiro raised his head, their eyes met. With a bulging cheek, Toshiro looked away and Ichigo smiled. He drank the rest of his latte just as the small shinigami swallowed the chewed cookie in his mouth. Ichigo broke off another piece and held it out for him.

Toshiro crinkled his nose and glared up at him, but at the soft look in Ichigo's eyes and the small smile on his lips, Toshiro took it. His petal soft lips glided over Ichigo's fingers, small pink tongue licking the digits as he took the cookie chunk into his mouth.

Then Toshiro broke a piece off for Ichigo, dainty hand holding it up to the other boy's lips. They took turns feeding each other, then Ichigo framed Toshiro's face with his large hands. His thumbs caressed the soft skin and flicked away lingering crumbs from his lips. Toshiro smiled softly, petite hands reaching up to do the same. His fingertips were soft as they brushed away cookie crumbs from Ichigo's lips then rand down the substitute soul reaper's long, strong arms until his small hands rested on Ichigo's large ones.

Ichigo bent and brushed his lips over Toshiro's briefly and gently. The kiss was as light as a butterfly landing and just as quick. When he pulled back, he saw Toshiro's eyes were closed and a little smile played about his lips. The boy's pale cheeks were flushed pink, but not out of anger or humiliation. It was a softer flush, more of a rosy glow then bright embarrassment. He was calmer and relaxed. Ichigo smiled, too.

And was Toshiro ever adorable like that. Ichigo couldn't help himself. He leaned forward again and stole a quick peck on the tip of Shiro's pert little nose, which crinkled then he opened his large eyes. He was about to scowl, but Ichigo's smile and the light in his eyes stopped it.

"Walk me to class, Shiro-chan?" He asked with a crooked smile. Toshiro nodded, then they rose from the bench. Toshiro held his lukewarm drink in one hand and the other slipped inside Ichigo's. The large hand closed around his smaller one, encompassing it in a warm heat.

As the two walked off towards campus, neither noticed all the Starbucks workers crowding around a small window, watching them.


Oh, you know if you worked at Starbucks, you'd be spying too.

Notes: And about the counter thing; not much of an exaggeration there; I didn't shrink Hitsu at all. At the Starbucks my friends and I frequent, the pick up counter, I kid you not, is very tall. It comes about up to my shoulders, and I'm 5'0. Shiro's about 1/2 a foot shorter than me (he's 4"4).